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    Dating a type 1 diabetic
    avatar
    Snowangel80 posted:
    Hello,


    I have been dating a type 1 diabetic for 3 months. He is going to be going on the pump in a week. Two nights ago, he got really scared about the changes which were about to occur and informed me that I should leave and not continue to see him. I have been with him through a couple of bad lows and have started to change my lifestyle (which is so much better with him, due to the healthy eating and exercise) to help him see he is not alone and I want to support him.

    Do you have any advice for me to help him realize I want to help him? Or advice in general for a non-diabetic dating a diabetic?

    Thank you!
    Reply
     
    avatar
    brunosbud responded:
    The best advice for everyone, regardless of what a glucometer or a lab result reads, is to "assume" you have diabetes. In other words, "Act as if..."
     
    avatar
    krhudson responded:
    Hi Snowangle180,

    Since it has only been 3 months I would make it clear to him
    that you care a lot and that you are just adapting to a lifestyle
    that is good for both of you and that if he really wants you to
    step away that you will. Their may be a lot of things you do
    not know yet about him and how he handles his Diabetes. If
    he has been a type 1 for a number of years and has low
    blood sugars, how often does that happen? He will have to
    seek help to get those to stop or he will have a hard time
    being around others. Type I Diabetes is an up and down medical condition.

    I am a type 1 and I have everything in perfect control at this point which means I am confident enough to have another person nearby all of the time and he just let's me handle it.
    He does not even ask how my blood sugar is because he knows that I handle that and it is my responsibility to handle that. He is in the background for me to express my frustrations with my Diabetes at times when I just want to vent. I
    know exactly why my blood sugar is low at times or why it is high at times. I usually cause it myself from either not eating enough for the amount of insulin I took or for eating to much which makes the blood sugar high. It is not the answer for my
    husband to be overly concerned he is not and that is a good thing. I want to be treated as if everything is normal and fine and the only way that happens is if I am in total control on my own and that all of my Labs are showing excellent control.

    If your friend is in total control of his Diabetes he should not
    be acting this way and shutting you out completely. I am
    thinking before he commits to anyone he wants space about
    this pump and maybe just wants to deal with this on his own
    and does not want to talk about it much. He could even join
    a Diabetes Education class that has pumps as a topic to
    calm his fears.

    I would probably at this point give him the space he is asking
    for and just date others and he will contact you back once
    he is feeling better about things. I do not know anything
    about him but I get the feeling he does not want support
    that appears over concerned like we woman do sometimes.
    The man usually wants to show as stable and in control and
    that is probably all this is.

    krhudson


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