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    Help me with my Husband
    helpmewithmyhusband posted:
    He is white, 39, male and has type 2 diabetes.
    We Live in Tulsa, OK
    I dont know what to do with him when his SUGAR get's high?
    He get's so dopey and acts like he is out of it.
    On top of that he keeps putting junk food in his body and it only makes it worse.
    He dose not want to take his pills anymore but I can't make him want to change his mind. Nor dose he want to go to his Doc?
    What is a girl to do?
    Anon_1092 responded:
    Dear Help,

    You are unfortunately singing an old song. Once a person is diagnosed with diabetes they are they only ones who can choose what to do and how to act. If you badger and harp on him, he will only come to resent you. You may try to ask a trusted friend or family member for help in talking to him but otherwise you can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do.

    You might try to get him into some counseling to understand why he doesn't want to take care of himself. Or even counseling for yourself to help you cope with his behavior.

    The things you can do is to eliminate the junk food and sugared sodas from your home and if you prepare meals, try to prepare the most diabetic friendly meals possible. It doesn't mean your husband can't buy inappropriate food when he is out of the house but maybe it will help him a little.

    I wish there were some magic words which could help but unfortunately I do not know them.

    my best to both of you...
    brunosbud responded:
    After nearly 57 years, I'm finally coming to realize, we can only change ourselves. I've lost emotional control countless times in my life because I couldn't change or convince the people I cared about that my way was "better". After having a big argument with my sister, I lost her to colon cancer just 3 weeks later. I learned the hard way, that arguing and getting upset is a really stupid and destructive waste of time.

    I let my actions do the talking for me, now. I'll stand at the ready should they ask for help. If they need my support or encouragement, I'm always ready and eager. But, now, if they want pity or contribute in any way in their own self-demise, I'll simply say, "No thanks. Homey don't play that." I've finally come to understand, it's never the spouse or the children or the co-worker that had the problem. It was me who had the problem, all along...
    EdieSarasota responded:
    My husband is obese and sedentary and there is nothing I can do to make him change his ways. He never goes to a doctor (except the eye doc and dermatologist) and I am fit and active and I just hope and pray that God is watching over him. We can't control other people, we can just be as patient and supportive as possible and make sure he has plenty of life insurance - if he can still get it.
    Those of us that live with people who are self-destructive need to learn to let go. If we keep after them all it does is create friction. You should live your life fully and put your needs first. If you ever have to stay home and take care of him, you need to join a caregiver support group in order to not be alone. There are lots of social service agencies that can help with respite care so that you can take a break from taking care of him... one day at a time!
    flutetooter replied to EdieSarasota's response:
    Someone just this afternoon asked me how she could help her sister lose 40 pounds so her medical insurance wouldn't be 4 times higher. I told her that first her sister had to really want to lose the weight. That ended the conversation immediately and we went on to discuss gardening, etc.
    If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!
    Sunshine_MTN responded:
    Gosh that's bad I was told years ago I had diabetes and the doctor was trying to make me take metformin but it just about killed me I was allergic to it and they kept saying cut it in half and do this do that I tried to take it but it hurt me bad but I started having foot pain burning stabbing pain that was server I told my rheumatologist and they sent me to a diabetic doctor and it was diabetic nerve pain caused from neglect of taking meds for diabetes. I do know as soon as my sugar doctor gave me meds I could take I did take them and still do both pills but I still have the nerve pain I wish the family doctor had gave me some thing I could take from the beginning or sent me to sugar doctor I wouldn't have this pan that requires another pill gabapentin. I know God can heal both diseases He has healed RA, my ears, copd, cancer of esophagus and cancer of stomach and this to will be in Gods time. I will pray for your husband. I know diabetes are hard to deal with but we have to do what we can do and what we can't do God will.

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