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Self-Talk Sabotage
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Louise_WebMD_Staff posted:
Today: Think of three negative ways you talk to yourself and turn them around into positive phrases and share them.

Four or five years ago, a friend of ours looked at a picture from one of my children's birthday party. She has a habit of shooting from the hip and didn't consider her words when she commented on what a horrid look I had on my face and my body language just spelled dismal droop. She said "For goodness sake, fake the joy!"

My partner and I pointed out that I was really desperately ill that day—the birthday girl knew by the fact of my presence and words of the boundless love and happiness for her. The comment rankled, but "Fake the Joy!" became an ironic phrase in our family. It came in handy later that year as we prepared for the children to leave for a 6-month sabbatical abroad?scheduled to fly out on Christmas day.

We rearranged the Santa schedule (What fun is it to get a toy for the holiday and not see it again for six months?) and made those last weeks here memorable. Fake the joy became the fa-la-la of that year. Just saying it made the family giggle. I have video of my youngest hanging off the couch upside down chanting fake the joy/singing a song about it and giggling. Even though we felt everything but joyful—the self talk brought joy to everyone.

It works the same way with diet and body image. Negative self-talk gets you nowhere but deeper in the hole. We have banned negative descriptions around weight and food in our house. That proved a huge challenge for my mother. She talked negatively about her body and weight for years and years. I grew up hearing about the tent maker that would need to make her clothes if she didn't get the weight off or made her clothes. "Let's be bad and get some ice cream" always were linked together.

My daughters (all of them) tried to go through a phase of "I am so fat" as early and second or third grade—it didn't matter they were the smallest kid in class or a foot taller than everyone else in class. I spent most of last year telling my mother to rephrase or drop it. I spent a similar amount of time with my 14-year-old who struggles with body image (and now weight).

How you talk to yourself has a lot to do with how you treat yourself. Beating yourself up about that slip, that fall, that baby weight you never lost even though the baby started school last week has not worked. Try something different:

"Don't beat yourself up about your weight or about slip-ups; instead, engage in positive self-talk. "Being negative or feeling guilty is counterproductive," says Dix. "Talk to yourself in a positive manner, like a psychotherapist, not like the Wicked Witch." (From 10 Diet Secrets for Lasting Change )

Today: Think of three negative ways you talk to yourself and turn them around into positive phrases and share them.

For example: "I ate all of that last night AND dessert. I can't stay on a diet" is what you usually might say to yourself or even in a check in. Instead turn it into "I can make healthy choices starting right now."

"I am fat and ugly and I don't blame everyone for not wanting to be around me." Turns into "I am beautiful and worth taking the effort toward a healthy lifestyle"

Once you are done. Print them out and put them somewhere to remind you. Even if they don't feel "true" when you start—repeat them to yourself until they become true inside and out. Why? Because you are beautiful, you are worth it and you are a brave person for taking control of your body and health.
~Louise


Senior Community Moderator
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Louise_WebMD_Staff responded:
I am too tired to eat right---I will be more tired if I eat poorly. I CAN make a healthy meal for the whole family.

There is nothing healthy in the house. --I have plenty of foods in the cupboard that make delicious quick meals.

I will start my diet Monday...I already fell off this week and then I know Saturday will be tough. Wait...Monday is a holiday.

Instead: I slipped but I can make things right with the next choice I make.
~Louise Senior Community Moderator
 
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Andie_WebMD_Staff replied to Louise_WebMD_Staff's response:
"I would take walks every night in my neighborhood, but then all my neighbors will see me and know I'm trying to lose weight" -----> "It's okay to admit I'm overweight and doing something to improve my health. My neighbors will wish they were so motivated!"

"I love playing volleyball but I'm not good enough to play on a team" -----> "I will find other beginner sports people to play with and we will all feel comfortable with each other"

"When I look in the mirror I see that I'm getting old" ----> "I look good for my age and will look much younger the more fit I get"
 
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Louise_WebMD_Staff replied to Andie_WebMD_Staff's response:
ohhhhhhhh That walk one. I have used that one! I don't have a dog...he is too old to walk far...so I can't just walk around the neighborhood. Now that we are down to the shih tzu "it is too embarrassing to walk him around the neighborhood"

eyeroll

Silly excuse of mine.
~Louise Senior Community Moderator
 
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Grampa_Bear responded:
Don't Eat Yellow Snow....Don't Eat Yellow Snow....


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