Diet Community

I'm not quite sure where to post this question, so I'll try here. For some background, I have PCOS and gain weight very easily. On top of it I have a large baseline body mass-- I'm only 5'4", but at my most thin and fit with a flat stomach and my b-cup bras getting too big, I weighed 1160 lbs. At my most unfit I'm 185 and wear a size 14. My whole adult life I've been a fitness nut, working out several days a week very intensely, an active runner, and always walking and biking where I need to go. I believe in eating intuitively when I'm hungry, so I don't ever diet. I do have a few eating "rules" for myself because I have to with PCOS-- mostly I refrain from eating sugar or white carbs in the house or at the office, try to get a lot of protein and good fats, and otherwise eat intuitively. I also take Adderall for ADHD, so often it is very difficult for me to eat enough so I have a fairly low calorie diet as well (probably about 1200). Sometimes I weigh myself at home, but given that I am extremely healthy and intune with my body, I don't really think it's important.

Because I am so heavy, no matter how fit or healthy I am, doctors always comment on my weight or BMI and will often refer me to nutrititionists, ask me for the details of my fitness routine, etc. It's as if they are testing me even though they can see by looking at me that I am not overweight and have great muscle tone. This could be my PCP or my gynocologist and I might be there for some reason completely unrelated to my weight. I see an endocrinologist for PCOS every 6 months to a year, and at those visits I get weighed, talk about my diet and fitness level, and have complete blood work ups for blood glucose, cholesterol, hormone levels, ect. Every once in a while the endocrinologist also tests for thyroid problems, which I have never had. I consistently have far below average bad cholesterol, far above average good cholesterol, perfect blood glucose levels, and there's never been a nurse that hasn't commented on how good my blood pressure is. The results of these medical tests rarely fluctuate even if have gained weight or am relatively out of shape.

Because I get such complete exams at the endocrinologist, I don't feel like it's important to talk about my weight with the PCP or the OBGYN. In the past I have politely stated that my preference is to not be weighed at the appointment. The nurse usually insists though, so I ask to close my eyes and not be told what my weight is. Almost without fail though, the doctor will come in reading the chart, tell me what my weight is, and want to talk about it. I just do not want to know what my weight is because I feel like it is just a number. If it is low it will seem normal to me but if it happens to be higher than I would expect, it can only make me feel bad about myself. Psychologically, it just goes back to when I was very tall, early developed kid and I weighed myself every night and cried myself to sleep. I don't see why the doctors have to know about it either, since I am clearly very healthy. They don't care what my height is, why would they care about my weight?

I am especially concerned about this now because 6 months ago I started a new job with a weird schedule and have been barely been able to get my workouts in. I've gained weight (mostly in my stomach--good old PCOS), lost tone, and gone up about 1 and a half clothing sizes, despite being very careful about what I eat. For the past six months this has caused me huge amounts of anxiety, less because I have gained weight but mostly because I don't like being out of shape and just don't feel good without exercise. Every day I plan exercise into my schedule, but it most often doesn't happen and it causes me much stress. I have a gyno appointment today and the last thing I need is to talk about this or know my weight. Can I request not to be weighed?