Diet Community

From the looks of it, in the battle between you and your doctors, it appears you're winning.

From my perspective, everyone has the power to transform their life for the better. But, it often requires a leap of faith to do so.

Hi and thanks for your posting. Your anger, frustration and hurt are all palpable. And I know a legion of folks out there can identify with your experience and your feelings as well. There is no place in the healing arts for judging. There is only a role for supportive care giving. Here are some thoughts:

1) All members of the healing arts must walk the talk. It is hypocritical to tell someone to do something you're not doing. That being said, people are on different parts of their journey. What is the expectation of nurses, doctors, physical therapists etc? Should they be athletic and reed thin? Of course not. When you see someone, you don't know where they are on their own journey. A pt of mine told me she just got a new physician, a heavy set woman doctor who happened to share with her that she's spent the past two years shedding 100 pounds and is continuing the journey, sharing pictures and inspiration and good knowledge. Appearances can be deceiving. That's why it's so often helpful to share one another's stories when it's appropriate. This doc was a primary care physician supporting my pt's full care and therefore issue of body composition were appropriately discussed in a caring and sharing way. The bottom line for my brethren is that they need to be practicing what they teach, walking the talk.

2) Doctors, nurses etc are human beings who are heavily influenced by the media and the "thin is best" culture out there. That's not an excuse. It's a fact. Thus, they need sensitivity training to stop the judging and start the care giving for a royal win win.

3) Health care providers have always been torn about their own frustrations with people engaging in behaviors and habits they have been taught are harmful not only to themselves but to others--- smoking, alcohol and drug abuse. Overeating and obesity fall within that category as well. They know the statistics and consequences related to the medical conditions that can happen and are often quite fervent about making sure you know as well. Their frustration can sometimes lead to tough love kind of statements that can come off as harsh. This is a daily challenge for anyone in the healing arts profession.

4) Your own feelings are on the edge because it's not just doctors, but people throughout your life who are judging. When you walk down the street, or at work, there are those who judge you for your appearance. You yourself said you can spot a "fat hater" right away. Your whole life is permeated with this kind of treatment. The doctor's comments can easily set you off because you're already hurting and sensitive.

There's a nifty little book called The Four Agreements by Ruiz. It's been around forever. I would so highly recommend you either read it or listen to the audiobook. It's wonderful. It speaks to judging others and more. Gift yourself with this for the holidays.

If you do want to help yourself be the best you can be, as we all do, you know this community is here for you to support you in any way we can.

Let us know your thoughts,

Dr. Peeke

Sometimes the patient has to be the sensitivity lesson.

It's no use blowing up at people because they will only hear rage, not the words. If you have to write a script to take in with you in order not to get the whole go-around, do so.

At my heaviest, I kept begging my internist to refer me to a hospital treatment plan. As we went through the exam, everything she said was related to my weight. I would repeat my request, getting more tight-lipped each time. Finally I said, "Well, that's what I'm here for: to get help with my weight."

With a huge sigh, she wrote me a referral.

Later, when I went in for my physical as I approached a normal body weight, she confessed she had issues with food, too. THAT was when I wanted to scream. Had she said that when I was fat, I would have been so much more open to her.

You can also buy your own blood pressure cuff and gown so that you don't have to go through that humiliation.

Stick with the people who get what you're saying -- come back & talk more!