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NuaShirmach posted:
Hi! I am not usually one for chat groups, but I'm really reaching for inspiration these days. I'm 37 years old, and at 180 lbs (and 5'3"), I am the heaviest I've ever been (other than when pregnant, when I topped out at just over 200 lbs). I've always struggled with my weight (my thinnest was about 125 lbs in my mid-20s), but this is a whole new level of "blech." We are now thinking of having child #2, but I really want to lose at least 30 lbs before getting pregnant again. This is for two reasons... 1) I would feel much healthier and 2) honestly, it's going to be a little tough getting pregnant when I feel too gross to let my husband get close to me. I know this is overreacting, but seriously, I just can't even begin to feel desirable or desiring right now.

I was going in the right direction this summer (got down to about 165), but have since backslid badly. I know there are many women who have overcome much greater weight loss challenges than I am facing, so I try to keep that in mind and not get dispirited, but I feel like I need to really reach outside myself this time around... the dual aid of inspiration and accountability. My long-term goal (after babies) is to get back to 130.

My goals: I want to exercise regularly so that I feel fit and healthy and so that I don't NEED to think too much about what I'm eating. Of course, at this stage, I need to be cutting calories a lot, but, really, I usually eat pretty healthfully (though I DO have a terrible sweet tooth). I have started going to the gym with my husband, but I have "issues" with continuity. Years ago, I went to the gym 4 days/week, but I haven't been able to keep a routine like that for a long time. I miss the energy I had!

My challenges: First and foremost, that whole counting calories thing. I know people recommend journals... but I am SO BAD at it that trying usually leads to failure. I get frustrated that I can't keep up with the logging, and just give up. Any tips on accountability without the time suck of logging everything?

Second: time. Not just not enough time; what really trips me up is a constantly changing schedule. I'm a professor and my schedule completely changes every three months (i.e. just as I'm getting into a good routine). Actually, in the past few years, I haven't even gotten to that "just getting into a good routine" part because I get so behind as the semester goes on that all good habits get tossed out the window. To make it even more complicated... I'm an anthropologist, which means that I spend about 2 months/year doing fieldwork. You'd think this would be good for the whole diet and exercise thing, but in fact, it just throws me off further. So, any tips on maintaining momentum in the face of ever-changing circumstances?

Third: snacking! I spend a LOT of time at my computer. And I eat. It is useless to think I'll completely stop eating at the desk, so I'm focusing more on better snacking. Nuts are my new favorite.

Childbearing: here I am really looking for advice! I have an 18 mo old son, and we would like to get pregnant again soon... if my weight weren't an issue, we'd be aiming for March. I was heavy (about 170 lbs) when I got pregnant in Oct '08, and gained about 30 lbs during the pregnancy. I'll admit that I'm jealous beyond belief that my friends who were pregnant at the same time have actually gone way below pre-pregnancy weight, due largely to breastfeeding (they are NOT exercising or dieting!). I'm STILL nursing (not for that reason, of course!), but have not even returned to pre-pregnancy weight, let alone lost more! *sigh* The quandry is balancing weight loss with healthy pregnancy/nursing... any advice?

So that's me in a nutshell... there's more of course, but I'm not allowed to type much more. What I am hoping for from this club is just support, encouragement, and advice... and accountability!

Looking forward to talking with you!
9 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:Trying something newHi! I am not usually one for chat groups, but I'm really reaching for inspiration these days. I'm 37 years old, and at 180 lbs (and 5'3"), I am the heaviest I've ever been (other than when pregnant, when I topped out at just over 200 lbs). I've always struggled with my weight (my thinnest was about 125 lbs in my mid-20s), but this is a whole new level of "blech." We are now thinking of having child #2, but I really want to lose at least 30 lbs before getting pregnant again. This is for two reasons... 1) I would feel much healthier and 2) honestly, it's going to be a little tough getting pregnant when I feel too gross to let my husband get close to me. I know this is overreacting, but seriously, I just can't even begin to feel desirable or desiring right now.<br /> <br />I was going in the right direction this summer (got down to about 165), but have since backslid badly. I know there are many women who have overcome much greater weight loss challenges than I am facing, so I try to keep that in mind and not get dispirited, but I feel like I need to really reach outside myself this time around... the dual aid of inspiration and accountability. My long-term goal (after babies) is to get back to 130.<br /> <br />My goals: I want to exercise regularly so that I feel fit and healthy and so that I don't NEED to think too much about what I'm eating. Of course, at this stage, I need to be cutting calories a lot, but, really, I usually eat pretty healthfully (though I DO have a terrible sweet tooth). I have started going to the gym with my husband, but I have "issues" with continuity. Years ago, I went to the gym 4 days/week, but I haven't been able to keep a routine like that for a long time. I miss the energy I had!<br /> <br />My challenges: First and foremost, that whole counting calories thing. I know people recommend journals... but I am SO BAD at it that trying usually leads to failure. I get frustrated that I can't keep up with the logging, and just give up. Any tips on accountability without the time suck of logging everything? <br /> <br />Second: time. Not just not enough time; what really trips me up is a constantly changing schedule. I'm a professor and my schedule completely changes every three months (i.e. just as I'm getting into a good routine). Actually, in the past few years, I haven't even gotten to that "just getting into a good routine" part because I get so behind as the semester goes on that all good habits get tossed out the window. To make it even more complicated... I'm an anthropologist, which means that I spend about 2 months/year doing fieldwork. You'd think this would be good for the whole diet and exercise thing, but in fact, it just throws me off further. So, any tips on maintaining momentum in the face of ever-changing circumstances?<br /> <br />Third: snacking! I spend a LOT of time at my computer. And I eat. It is useless to think I'll completely stop eating at the desk, so I'm focusing more on better snacking. Nuts are my new favorite.<br /> <br />Childbearing: here I am really looking for advice! I have an 18 mo old son, and we would like to get pregnant again soon... if my weight weren't an issue, we'd be aiming for March. I was heavy (about 170 lbs) when I got pregnant in Oct '08, and gained about 30 lbs during the pregnancy. I'll admit that I'm jealous beyond belief that my friends who were pregnant at the same time have actually gone way below pre-pregnancy weight, due largely to breastfeeding (they are NOT exercising or dieting!). I'm STILL nursing (not for that reason, of course!), but have not even returned to pre-pregnancy weight, let alone lost more! *sigh* The quandry is balancing weight loss with healthy pregnancy/nursing... any advice?<br /> <br />So that's me in a nutshell... there's more of course, but I'm not allowed to type much more. What I am hoping for from this club is just support, encouragement, and advice... and accountability! <br /> <br />Looking forward to talking with you!
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Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff responded:
Welcome to the Club! Check off the first step in achieving your goal - asking for help and posting your challenges!

Journaling - I understand the journal frustration. When I started, I did write down everything. I could not find a journal that fit my needs, so I created one. I was amazed at how much I ate, how many calories I inhaled in one day and how little water I drank. I really thought I was doing OK, oh boy, was I mistaken! The journal gave a clear indication of what was wrong and portion control was a biggie. After getting a handle on things I do not journal any longer, but I do plan! I now spend about 2 hrs a week looking up recipes, planning meals and snacks. For the most part I eat the same variety of few things for breakfast, lunch and snacks. I change things up for dinner for my families benefit!

Maintaining Momentum - Don't get overwhelmed by looking at the big picture, set small goals and set up short time frames. Ex. This week I will exercise on these days and at these times.

Snacking - I'm with you one this one! I have stopped eating at my desk and while on my computer! I pay attention to the clock which forces me to get up and get my snack, stretch and walk around. I believe this one change has helped me become more focused at work and has been a huge help in losing weight.

Childbearing - As you change your eating habits, your weight will drop and and by March if you are ready, go for it! As you know you don't diet while pregnant, but you do need to make healthy food choices. Those choices turn into less weight gained and less to lose after delivery.

I found this article, Losing the Baby Weight , which may be helpful.

Looking forward to losing with you,
Elizabeth
Report This| Share this:Trying something newWelcome to the Club! Check off the first step in achieving your goal - asking for help and posting your challenges!<br /><br />Journaling - I understand the journal frustration. When I started, I did write down everything. I could not find a journal that fit my needs, so I created one. I was amazed at how much I ate, how many calories I inhaled in one day and how little water I drank. I really thought I was doing OK, oh boy, was I mistaken! The journal gave a clear indication of what was wrong and portion control was a biggie. After getting a handle on things I do not journal any longer, but I do plan! I now spend about 2 hrs a week looking up recipes, planning meals and snacks. For the most part I eat the same variety of few things for breakfast, lunch and snacks. I change things up for dinner for my families benefit!<br /><br />Maintaining Momentum - Don't get overwhelmed by looking at the big picture, set small goals and set up short time frames. Ex. This week I will exercise on these days and at these times. <br /><br />Snacking - I'm with you one this one! I have stopped eating at my desk and while on my computer! I pay attention to the clock which forces me to get up and get my snack, stretch and walk around. I believe this one change has helped me become more focused at work and has been a huge help in losing weight.<br /><br />Childbearing - As you change your eating habits, your weight will drop and and by March if you are ready, go for it! As you know you don't diet while pregnant, but you do need to make healthy food choices. Those choices turn into less weight gained and less to lose after delivery.<br /><br />I found this article, <a href="http://www.webmd.com/diet/features/expert-qa-losing-baby-weight">Losing the Baby Weight</a> , which may be helpful.<br /><br />Looking forward to losing with you,<br />Elizabeth
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Tomato05 responded:
Hi and welcome

I don't like journalling either, and don't do it. I find it focuses my mind on food, which is exactly what I want to avoid. Plus, it adds more clutter to my "To Do" list...

It works for many others though, so maybe it's a matter of getting used to doing it.

I don't think you have to count calories meticulously either if you don't want to. As long as you stick to 3 smallish meals and 2 or so controlled low-cal snacks you can keep your calories under control - if you make sure you base your food intake on healthy, nutritious foods in a balanced way.

We all know to eat lots of fruit and veg, lean protein, skim or low-fat dairy, legumes, healthy fats, wholegrains.

And we all know to avoid highly processed food, fatty/fried/stodgy food, pastries & cakes, refined sugar, etc.

It's a matter of experimenting with your food intake until you eat little enough to still be healthy, but can lose 1 lb or so a week.

Good luck! It is wise of you to make plans to lose the weight before you fall pregnant.
Report This| Share this:Trying something newHi and welcome<br /><br />I don't like journalling either, and don't do it. I find it focuses my mind on food, which is exactly what I want to avoid. Plus, it adds more clutter to my "To Do" list...<br /><br />It works for many others though, so maybe it's a matter of getting used to doing it.<br /><br />I don't think you have to count calories meticulously either if you don't want to. As long as you stick to 3 smallish meals and 2 or so controlled low-cal snacks you can keep your calories under control - if you make sure you base your food intake on healthy, nutritious foods in a balanced way.<br /><br />We all know to eat lots of fruit and veg, lean protein, skim or low-fat dairy, legumes, healthy fats, wholegrains.<br /><br />And we all know to avoid highly processed food, fatty/fried/stodgy food, pastries &amp; cakes, refined sugar, etc.<br /><br />It's a matter of experimenting with your food intake until you eat little enough to still be healthy, but can lose 1 lb or so a week.<br /><br />Good luck! It is wise of you to make plans to lose the weight before you fall pregnant.
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jean4u replied to Tomato05's response:
Hi Nua,

I think it's a good idea to get control of your eating and planning more exercise. You have a busy career and add your child to that....you have to schedule some time for you.

Maybe have portion controlled containers for celery and cut up vegggies to take to work. Drink tea at your desk. I use a pedlar under my computer desk. When you use the restroom at work walk an extra lap. For lunch, walk. Protein shakes are great, too.

You are smart to get a handle on this before getting pregnant and having child #2. There will only be less time then.

Good Luck!

Barb

P.S. About feeling unattractive now.....you must accept yourself and love yourself at ANY weight. I really believe this IS the 1st step to make in starting and staying on a healthy lifestyle journey...one that will lead to a healthy weight.
Report This| Share this:Trying something newHi Nua,<br /> <br />I think it's a good idea to get control of your eating and planning more exercise. You have a busy career and add your child to that....you have to schedule some time for you.<br /> <br />Maybe have portion controlled containers for celery and cut up vegggies to take to work. Drink tea at your desk. I use a pedlar under my computer desk. When you use the restroom at work walk an extra lap. For lunch, walk. Protein shakes are great, too.<br /> <br />You are smart to get a handle on this before getting pregnant and having child #2. There will only be less time then.<br /> <br />Good Luck!<br /> <br />Barb<br /> <br />P.S. About feeling unattractive now.....you must accept yourself and love yourself at ANY weight. I really believe this IS the 1st step to make in starting and staying on a healthy lifestyle journey...one that will lead to a healthy weight.
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Figiren responded:
Hi - you remind me of me . We are about the same weight and have about the same goals. Although I am in my early 40s and not planning any babies! Don't be so hard on yourself on feeling unattractive. It's been a struggle for me in the past, but I am lucky enough to have a fantastic boyfriend who makes me feel wanted all the time. I've been working on the "negative self-talk" lately.
That said, I'm discouraged (and for some reason sad today), and am hoping joining this community will give me a place to vent / discuss issues with like-minded people. I want to overcome the desire to give up!
So today I am starting again!!
Report This| Share this:Trying something newHi - you remind me of me <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/litesmile.gif" align="top" border="0">. We are about the same weight and have about the same goals. Although I am in my early 40s and not planning any babies! Don't be so hard on yourself on feeling unattractive. It's been a struggle for me in the past, but I am lucky enough to have a fantastic boyfriend who makes me feel wanted all the time. I've been working on the "negative self-talk" lately.<br />That said, I'm discouraged (and for some reason sad today), and am hoping joining this community will give me a place to vent / discuss issues with like-minded people. I want to overcome the desire to give up!<br />So today I am starting again!!
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NuaShirmach responded:
Thanks to everyone for the welcome and advice! I think that the advice to pre-plan in place of journaling (e.g. portion-controlled containers) may be especially good for me. And I WILL try to keep track... at least for a while to see how bad I really am! I need to get in the habit of planning menus and meals in advance anyway as we are constantly finding ourselves in the situation of getting home late and having to figure out what to do for dinner.

I think the most important thing for me may be just this... having people to share and commiserate with as we go through this struggle. My husband is very supportive, but doesn't really get it... you know, he's a GUY, which means he has one whiskey instead of two and goes to the gym and lifts weights for a half an hour every once in a while, and he loses the weight.

I'll keep you posted on how my planning and organizing go... so far we're doing pretty well! I've gone to the gym twice this week (three times last week) and have been watching the snacking, trying to replace a giant bottle of green tea for nibblies. (On the other hand, I just went to buy some new jeans and find that I can barely fit into size 14, and in non-jeans can't even come close to fitting into size 14... *sigh*)
Report This| Share this:Trying something newThanks to everyone for the welcome and advice! I think that the advice to pre-plan in place of journaling (e.g. portion-controlled containers) may be especially good for me. And I WILL try to keep track... at least for a while to see how bad I really am! I need to get in the habit of planning menus and meals in advance anyway as we are constantly finding ourselves in the situation of getting home late and having to figure out what to do for dinner. <br /><br />I think the most important thing for me may be just this... having people to share and commiserate with as we go through this struggle. My husband is very supportive, but doesn't really get it... you know, he's a GUY, which means he has one whiskey instead of two and goes to the gym and lifts weights for a half an hour every once in a while, and he loses the weight. <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/pbpt.gif" align="top" border="0"><br /><br />I'll keep you posted on how my planning and organizing go... so far we're doing pretty well! I've gone to the gym twice this week (three times last week) and have been watching the snacking, trying to replace a giant bottle of green tea for nibblies. (On the other hand, I just went to buy some new jeans and find that I can barely fit into size 14, and in non-jeans can't even come close to fitting into size 14... *sigh*)
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NuaShirmach replied to Figiren's response:
Hi Figiren -

I wanted to say welcome to you, too, since you're also new to the board!

I know the "discouraged" thing!! Let's talk each other out of it! It is so easy to get discouraged, but I know we can do it. I've read some really remarkable stories of people who have totally changed their lives, dropping 200 pounds or more! And the way they do it by just taking one day at a time.

I'm with you on the eating all over the place, too. One of my things is that I hate to feel like I'm on a diet (and I hate to draw attention to the fact that I'm on a diet)... plus I love food (and, yes, beer and wine, too). I really do think the important thing is to treat each decision as it's own... that is, if you have popcorn and beer one night, don't let that affect your good decisions the next day, or even the same day! As we get more used to making good decisions, we'll make them more of the time.

Good luck to you! I know you can do it!
Report This| Share this:Trying something newHi Figiren - <br /><br />I wanted to say welcome to you, too, since you're also new to the board! <br /><br />I know the "discouraged" thing!! Let's talk each other out of it! It is so easy to get discouraged, but I know we can do it. I've read some really remarkable stories of people who have totally changed their lives, dropping 200 pounds or more! And the way they do it by just taking one day at a time. <br /><br />I'm with you on the eating all over the place, too. One of my things is that I hate to feel like I'm on a diet (and I hate to draw attention to the fact that I'm on a diet)... plus I love food (and, yes, beer and wine, too). I really do think the important thing is to treat each decision as it's own... that is, if you have popcorn and beer one night, don't let that affect your good decisions the next day, or even the same day! As we get more used to making good decisions, we'll make them more of the time. <br /><br />Good luck to you! I know you can do it!
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jean4u replied to NuaShirmach's response:
A quote from Dr. Oz, "Getting healthy one day at a time."

I think it is too easy to get overwhelmed when we try to fix it all, NOW.

Think and plan what you are going to eat, today (and drink). Then look at what you actually did. Make tomorrow better.

Do NOT beat yourself up for a slip. Fix it like a flat tire and get where you need to go.

NUA, what you said about those jeans. My first inspiration to lose and stay on maintenance for a year was about fitting into Calvin Klein jeans. LOL I am down like 6-8 sizes and it feels sooo good to have skinny jeans again.

You can and will do this. You are ready!

Barb

P.S. You too Figiren!
Report This| Share this:Trying something newA quote from Dr. Oz, "Getting healthy one day at a time."<br /> <br />I think it is too easy to get overwhelmed when we try to fix it all, NOW.<br /> <br />Think and plan what you are going to eat, today (and drink). Then look at what you actually did. Make tomorrow better.<br /> <br />Do NOT beat yourself up for a slip. Fix it like a flat tire and get where you need to go.<br /> <br />NUA, what you said about those jeans. My first inspiration to lose and stay on maintenance for a year was about fitting into Calvin Klein jeans. LOL I am down like 6-8 sizes and it feels sooo good to have skinny jeans again.<br /> <br />You can and will do this. You are ready!<br /> <br />Barb<br /> <br />P.S. You too Figiren!
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NuaShirmach responded:
erg... trying to remember all the advice to "take it one day at a time" and not get discouraged! Three days into the new semester and my good routines and habits of the last few weeks have gone to heck.

Sick baby, new classes, and little sleep led us to order pizza last night instead of cooking. Hubby poured beer and I didn't say no. Haven't been to the gym once this week (though I have been riding my bicycle to work... a mere two miles, but at least it's something!).

I vow to watch those portions and to get to the gym at least ONCE this week (hopefully twice), and I will leave it at that for this week.

One day at a time....
Report This| Share this:Trying something newerg... trying to remember all the advice to "take it one day at a time" and not get discouraged! Three days into the new semester and my good routines and habits of the last few weeks have gone to heck. <br /><br />Sick baby, new classes, and little sleep led us to order pizza last night instead of cooking. Hubby poured beer and I didn't say no. <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/frown.gif" align="top" border="0"> Haven't been to the gym once this week (though I have been riding my bicycle to work... a mere two miles, but at least it's something!). <br /><br />I vow to watch those portions and to get to the gym at least ONCE this week (hopefully twice), and I will leave it at that for this week. <br /><br />One day at a time....
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Figiren replied to NuaShirmach's response:
Yep - one day at a time!!
I've given in fully to the diet - which means at least once per day, I'm eating Lean Cuisine while my boyfriend/family eats a "real" meal.
Otherwise I'm trying to make a healthier meal - like tacos but no sour cream and limited myself to two. With a big serving of green beans.
Anyway, sick baby, no sleep, I can understand the pizza order!!!! Riding your bike probably at least puts you in a more active frame of mind. Hope you make it to the gym. Hang in there!!
Report This| Share this:Trying something newYep - one day at a time!!<br />I've given in fully to the diet - which means at least once per day, I'm eating Lean Cuisine while my boyfriend/family eats a "real" meal.<br />Otherwise I'm trying to make a healthier meal - like tacos but no sour cream and limited myself to two. With a big serving of green beans.<br />Anyway, sick baby, no sleep, I can understand the pizza order!!!! Riding your bike probably at least puts you in a more active frame of mind. Hope you make it to the gym. Hang in there!!
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