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Desperately Seeking Support and Motivation!
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anniek109 posted:
Hi Everyone!

I'm a newbie. I just came across this message board and I am SO glad I did. I am hoping you all can help me find my way...

Name: Annie

Region: Shoreline of CT

Numbers: sw 171 / cw 171 / gw 130

Hardest Challenge: MOTIVATION, sticking with it, and FOOD!


I just turned 29 last month and I keep telling myself this is going to be my year. In the past 10 years I have tried Weight Watchers, numerous times, had a personal trainer for a year (man was that expensive). I tired high protein diets, no carb diets. I dont eat red meat or pork so that narrows down a lot of fattening foods. I have gone thru phases where I go to the gym 6 days a week and work out until I want to fall over and die. I have tired low calorie, practically starve yourself diets. Each time I have lost about 10-15 lbs, which dont get me wrong, is GREAT. But then I hit a wall, and no matter what different/more challenging things I try, I get stuck, so then I give up and I ALWAYS gain back what I lost...and then some. So here I am, having tried it all and I am the heaviest I have ever been, not to mention - the unhappiest.


Its not like I dont know what I have to do in order to lose the weight. Its just being able to step back and look at the big picture. I want to lose over 40 lbs. I mean, that seems like an impossible goal. I understand a negative attitude gets you nowhere. But I am sure a lot of you can relate to the hesitation - like, can I really do this? What makes this time different? How do I know I wont just fail, again? Do I want to lose this weight? HELL TO THE YES! Do I want to walk into a room and feel attractive, instead of instantly worrying about how fat I look? And wondering if people are calling me fat behind my back? You bet your ass I do. So, if my desire to lose weight and be happy and finally live the life I have robbed myself of for all these years, is so strong, why isnt it strong enough to get me through my weight loss journey?


Does anyone have some words of wisdom for a lost soul like me? Or perhaps a swift kick in the behind?
46 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:Desperately Seeking Support and Motivation!Hi Everyone!<br /><br />I'm a newbie. I just came across this message board and I am SO glad I did. I am hoping you all can help me find my way...<br /><br />Name: Annie<br /><br />Region: Shoreline of CT<br /><br />Numbers: sw 171 / cw 171 / gw 130<br /><br />Hardest Challenge: MOTIVATION, sticking with it, and FOOD!<br /><br /><br />I just turned 29 last month and I keep telling myself this is going to be my year. In the past 10 years I have tried Weight Watchers, numerous times, had a personal trainer for a year (man was that expensive). I tired high protein diets, no carb diets. I dont eat red meat or pork so that narrows down a lot of fattening foods. I have gone thru phases where I go to the gym 6 days a week and work out until I want to fall over and die. I have tired low calorie, practically starve yourself diets. Each time I have lost about 10-15 lbs, which dont get me wrong, is GREAT. But then I hit a wall, and no matter what different/more challenging things I try, I get stuck, so then I give up and I ALWAYS gain back what I lost...and then some. So here I am, having tried it all and I am the heaviest I have ever been, not to mention - the unhappiest. <br /><br /><br />Its not like I dont know what I have to do in order to lose the weight. Its just being able to step back and look at the big picture. I want to lose over 40 lbs. I mean, that seems like an impossible goal. I understand a negative attitude gets you nowhere. But I am sure a lot of you can relate to the hesitation - like, can I really do this? What makes this time different? How do I know I wont just fail, again? Do I want to lose this weight? HELL TO THE YES! Do I want to walk into a room and feel attractive, instead of instantly worrying about how fat I look? And wondering if people are calling me fat behind my back? You bet your ass I do. So, if my desire to lose weight and be happy and finally live the life I have robbed myself of for all these years, is so strong, why isnt it strong enough to get me through my weight loss journey? <br /><br /><br />Does anyone have some words of wisdom for a lost soul like me? Or perhaps a swift kick in the behind?
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Tomato05 responded:
Hi and welcome Annie.

I can relate to having been petite and slim all my life until a few years ago - it makes being plump really difficult, remembering how I used to be and feel.

Of course that's the classic dieter's dilemma: one wants to be thin, but you also want to eat as much as before. All I can say, is never let yourself become extremely hungry, because that's when your body and soul rebel and say "what the heck, I can't stand this any longer; I am going to eat until I am really full for a change".

Rather eat small amounts frequently.

Also, remember that there is no substitute for action. We can have the most wonderful plans, desires, meal ideas, menus, etc., but unless we take action and cut the food intake, we're not going to get anywhere.

Good luck, and your goal is not impossible. Many have lost 3 or more times that weight without having any magical powers; you can reach your goal too. You just have to take it one day at a time.
Report This| Share this:Desperately Seeking Support and Motivation!Hi and welcome Annie. <br /><br />I can relate to having been petite and slim all my life until a few years ago - it makes being plump really difficult, remembering how I used to be and feel.<br /><br />Of course that's the classic dieter's dilemma: one wants to be thin, but you also want to eat as much as before. All I can say, is never let yourself become extremely hungry, because that's when your body and soul rebel and say "what the heck, I can't stand this any longer; I am going to eat until I am really full for a change".<br /><br />Rather eat small amounts frequently.<br /><br />Also, remember that there is no substitute for <i>action.</i> We can have the most wonderful plans, desires, meal ideas, menus, etc., but unless we take action and cut the food intake, we're not going to get anywhere.<br /><br />Good luck, and your goal is not impossible. Many have lost 3 or more times that weight without having any magical powers; you can reach your goal too. You just have to take it one day at a time.
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WannaBSexy responded:
Did I write this? Seriously? I can identify with every single word. I've tried SO many diets, Weight Watchers 3-4 times, NutriSystem, Atkins a couple times, The Master Cleanse 3-4 times, Watermelon Diet, Hcg (expensive!!!), and many more...

I AM motivated, I DO want to lose the weight and feel good about myself, I AM capable of doing it, I just DON'T, and it makes me hate myself that much more... Rediculous, really.

Would love nothing more than to be fit and trim, but do nothing to achieve it. I belly dance, and I thought that showing my belly to others would motivate me, but it hasn't in over 2 years...
Report This| Share this:Desperately Seeking Support and Motivation!Did I write this? Seriously? I can identify with every single word. I've tried SO many diets, Weight Watchers 3-4 times, NutriSystem, Atkins a couple times, The Master Cleanse 3-4 times, Watermelon Diet, Hcg (expensive!!!), and many more...<br /> <br />I AM motivated, I DO want to lose the weight and feel good about myself, I AM capable of doing it, I just DON'T, and it makes me hate myself that much more... Rediculous, really.<br /> <br />Would love nothing more than to be fit and trim, but do nothing to achieve it. I belly dance, and I thought that showing my belly to others would motivate me, but it hasn't in over 2 years...
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jean4u responded:
Annie,

Sometimes we got to kick our own A$$! Seriously, this will take some time. It isn't about a DIET, but to lose and keep the weight off, we got to change our eating and exercise habits.

What do we know about changing habits.....it doesn't hapen overnight. Small changes do add up.

Increase veggies and drink 64 oz water. I use Crystal Lite and sugar-free tea packets.

Somewhere along the way, you will make a mental change that is important, too. I think the self-control thing is like a muscle and it gets stronger along the way.

I got alot of support here. I like to vent here and get tips, too.

I have been here since Jan, 2011. I have gone down a bit over 30 and have kept it off. Keeping weight off was a new one for me. That was my goal, to lose and keep it off. I have done this by slowly changing my eating. Lower carb and sugar-free, 64 oz water and increase exercise. Small amounts protein and lots of fiber, alot of veggies and fruits.

If you have a slip, don't give up just get back on track ASAP!!

Let us know how you do.

Good luck!!!!

Barb
Report This| Share this:Desperately Seeking Support and Motivation!Annie,<br /> <br />Sometimes we got to kick our own A$$! Seriously, this will take some time. It isn't about a DIET, but to lose and keep the weight off, we got to change our eating and exercise habits.<br /> <br />What do we know about changing habits.....it doesn't hapen overnight. Small changes do add up.<br /> <br />Increase veggies and drink 64 oz water. I use Crystal Lite and sugar-free tea packets. <br /> <br />Somewhere along the way, you will make a mental change that is important, too. I think the self-control thing is like a muscle and it gets stronger along the way.<br /> <br />I got alot of support here. I like to vent here and get tips, too.<br /> <br />I have been here since Jan, 2011. I have gone down a bit over 30 and have kept it off. Keeping weight off was a new one for me. That was my goal, to lose and keep it off. I have done this by slowly changing my eating. Lower carb and sugar-free, 64 oz water and increase exercise. Small amounts protein and lots of fiber, alot of veggies and fruits.<br /> <br />If you have a slip, don't give up just get back on track ASAP!!<br /> <br />Let us know how you do.<br /> <br />Good luck!!!!<br /> <br />Barb
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cottoncandygal replied to jean4u's response:
Hi Annie,,,I see you signed up yesterday like I did..too! Keep up your spirits! I guess....maybe,,visualizing what you want to look like may help a tad. ;for now...just watch your food intake and pick up the exercises and walks!
I see you joined clubs;but to no permanent avail. .....I seen this group too yesterday; frommy email and joined! Hope it can help with all of us band together! I need to lose 35. Never thought I would have to be concerned over my weight.;since i was THIN,,,most of my life til past several yrs. ;very odd for me! At my ripe age of 61; it's not easy either!
Good luck! Cottoncandygal
CCGal
Report This| Share this:Desperately Seeking Support and Motivation!Hi Annie,,,I see you signed up yesterday like I did..too! Keep up your spirits! I guess....maybe,,visualizing what you want to look like may help a tad. ;for now...just watch your food intake and pick up the exercises and walks! <br /> I see you joined clubs;but to no permanent avail. .....I seen this group too yesterday; frommy email and joined! Hope it can help with all of us band together! I need to lose 35. Never thought I would have to be concerned over my weight.;since i was THIN,,,most of my life til past several yrs. ;very odd for me! At my ripe age of 61; it's not easy either! <br /> Good luck! Cottoncandygal
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isthatreallyme responded:
I'm new to this concept of discussion groups as well as signing up for this group. I'm 50 and have the same problems...worked my tail off at the gym, cut calories, journaled daily..lost 18 pounds...gained it all back after needed 3 surgeries since last June. My problem is I've lost motivation after working so hard and not losing more. It's harder to lose at my age to begin with. I'm hoping this time, jumping back into that routine again, that using this technology, I can stay motivated.
Report This| Share this:Desperately Seeking Support and Motivation!I'm new to this concept of discussion groups as well as signing up for this group. I'm 50 and have the same problems...worked my tail off at the gym, cut calories, journaled daily..lost 18 pounds...gained it all back after needed 3 surgeries since last June. My problem is I've lost motivation after working so hard and not losing more. It's harder to lose at my age to begin with. I'm hoping this time, jumping back into that routine again, that using this technology, I can stay motivated.
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3point14 responded:
Hey and welcome. Over the past little-over-a-year, I've lost 30 lbs., from 170(ish) to 140(ish). I've done it very slowly, averaging only like 1/2 a pound a week loss. But it's worked. I'm not super hungry, I don't deprive myself, and I don't work out more than what I'm comfortable with. But slowly, over time, I've hit a point where I'm getting really, really pleased with my results, and I know they'll be easy to maintain, because I'm not making any big changes.

Also, like two weeks ago, I had kind of a total meltdown. I just got sick of having to be conscious of what I was eating, and just couldn't stand the thought of working out. So I stopped. I didn't go totally nuts, but just stopped looking at what I was eating closely, meditated instead of worked out, and reminded myself that this is a favor I'm treating myself to, not a punishment I have to endure.

So, my reccomendation is to pace yourself. It's easy to stay very go-go-go for a while, but it doesn't make sense. Think about other things in life. Do you expect immediate results if you just plow through something in an afternoon? Or do you expect better results with planning and pacing? Weight loss is just like anything else, baby steps lead to huge bounds, just eventually. Chill out, lady Breathe deep and tend to yourself. Make reasonable choices like 90% of the time rather than expecting perfection 100% of the time. Enjoy the foods you like in moderation, and find activities that'll make you forget it's exercise...maybe dance or some kind of sport? You can do this!!!!!!!!
Report This| Share this:Desperately Seeking Support and Motivation!Hey <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/smile.gif" align="top" border="0"> and welcome. Over the past little-over-a-year, I've lost 30 lbs., from 170(ish) to 140(ish). I've done it very slowly, averaging only like 1/2 a pound a week loss. But it's worked. I'm not super hungry, I don't deprive myself, and I don't work out more than what I'm comfortable with. But slowly, over time, I've hit a point where I'm getting really, really pleased with my results, and I know they'll be easy to maintain, because I'm not making any big changes.<br /> <br />Also, like two weeks ago, I had kind of a total meltdown. I just got sick of having to be conscious of what I was eating, and just couldn't stand the thought of working out. So I stopped. I didn't go totally nuts, but just stopped looking at what I was eating closely, meditated instead of worked out, and reminded myself that this is a favor I'm treating myself to, not a punishment I have to endure.<br /> <br />So, my reccomendation is to pace yourself. It's easy to stay very go-go-go for a while, but it doesn't make sense. Think about other things in life. Do you expect immediate results if you just plow through something in an afternoon? Or do you expect better results with planning and pacing? Weight loss is just like anything else, baby steps lead to huge bounds, just eventually. Chill out, lady <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/smile.gif" align="top" border="0"> Breathe deep and tend to yourself. Make reasonable choices like 90% of the time rather than expecting perfection 100% of the time. Enjoy the foods you like in moderation, and find activities that'll make you forget it's exercise...maybe dance or some kind of sport? You can do this!!!!!!!!
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An_201760 responded:
I could have totally written this. I turned 29 last month, weigh 170s-180s & would like to be down to 145. I go to the gym religiously & then stop (I was in the military, so I think that's part of it) and like you, know what to do to lose weight. But I rather eat lol.

Would totally love to chat with you more. I could use a buddy. Good luck to you!
Report This| Share this:Desperately Seeking Support and Motivation!I could have totally written this. I turned 29 last month, weigh 170s-180s &amp; would like to be down to 145. I go to the gym religiously &amp; then stop (I was in the military, so I think that's part of it) and like you, know what to do to lose weight. But I rather eat lol.<br /> <br />Would totally love to chat with you more. I could use a buddy. Good luck to you!
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Nargue replied to jean4u's response:
very good advice and inpirational too. Just joined myself and am looking for motivational support. I know it will be harder than when I was a young woman to lose weight. But, my health depends on it. Dealing with the whole metabolic syndrome issue. Again, thanks for your post.
Hope49
Report This| Share this:Desperately Seeking Support and Motivation!very good advice and inpirational too. Just joined myself and am looking for motivational support. I know it will be harder than when I was a young woman to lose weight. But, my health depends on it. Dealing with the whole metabolic syndrome issue. Again, thanks for your post. <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/smile.gif" align="top" border="0">
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Nargue replied to isthatreallyme's response:
hi there. I'm right there with you- almost 50 myself. I'm just at the point where I'm telling myself I need to get serious. Motivation to begin is the issue but have started slowly. I have plenty of reason...my health. Mostly, walking with my dog. Seriously trying to cut out red meat as much as possible. It's hard when you live with a family of males. Recovery from surgery is difficult. I have a sister recovering from knee surgery. She needs to lose even more than me. I really feel for her...how can she exercise with so much pain? But, she prays and meditates and tries to stay positive refusing to give in to the limited mobility. Good luck to you. Glad to hear from you!
Hope49
Report This| Share this:Desperately Seeking Support and Motivation!hi there. I'm right there with you- almost 50 myself. I'm just at the point where I'm telling myself I need to get serious. Motivation to begin is the issue but have started slowly. I have plenty of reason...my health. Mostly, walking with my dog. Seriously trying to cut out red meat as much as possible. It's hard when you live with a family of males. <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/smile.gif" align="top" border="0"> Recovery from surgery is difficult. I have a sister recovering from knee surgery. She needs to lose even more than me. I really feel for her...how can she exercise with so much pain? But, she prays and meditates and tries to stay positive refusing to give in to the limited mobility. Good luck to you. Glad to hear from you!
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Mizmo412 replied to isthatreallyme's response:
So glad to see someone else in a similar situation. I turned 50 in April. Have been trying to lose the same 20 pounds for the past 20 years. Last two years has been very difficult as I have had knee surgery that kept me out of the gym for 6 months and broke my leg in 4 places in March and am still struggling through PT to be able to walk. It's very difficult to lose weight, or even maintain weight when you don't have access to your major muscle groups.

I just returned from a trip of a lifetime to Costa Rica that was supposed to be an adventure trip. (Of course, I broke my leg a week after booking the trip.) Unfortunately, I wasn't able to hike, but I still had a nice time with my family. I came home 8 pounds heavier though, so the diet cycle starts again!

I'm looking for a small group of women who are willing to be in daily contact to support one another. If you're interested, let me know...

Mo!
Report This| Share this:Desperately Seeking Support and Motivation!So glad to see someone else in a similar situation. I turned 50 in April. Have been trying to lose the same 20 pounds for the past 20 years. Last two years has been very difficult as I have had knee surgery that kept me out of the gym for 6 months and broke my leg in 4 places in March and am still struggling through PT to be able to walk. It's very difficult to lose weight, or even maintain weight when you don't have access to your major muscle groups. <br /><br />I just returned from a trip of a lifetime to Costa Rica that was supposed to be an adventure trip. (Of course, I broke my leg a week after booking the trip.) Unfortunately, I wasn't able to hike, but I still had a nice time with my family. I came home 8 pounds heavier though, so the diet cycle starts again!<br /><br />I'm looking for a small group of women who are willing to be in daily contact to support one another. If you're interested, let me know...<br /><br />Mo!
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Ranalka86 responded:
I'm the exact same way and lately I've been having such a mental battle with it. I thought I was the only one like this. It's terrible because you want it so bad and the motivation just doesnt last. Sigh...I'd like a swift kick in the butt and get a move on this too.
Report This| Share this:Desperately Seeking Support and Motivation!I'm the exact same way and lately I've been having such a mental battle with it. I thought I was the only one like this. It's terrible because you want it so bad and the motivation just doesnt last. Sigh...I'd like a swift kick in the butt and get a move on this too.
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An_201761 replied to Ranalka86's response:
I know how you feel. I am new to this joining a blog and actually talking about how hard it is. I have pretty much been a normal size all my life but fr the past 2 years I have put on about 30 pounds and cannot motivate myself to take it off. I just wish I could find a way to stay motivated to keep at the exercise and limited food intake. I try to eat healthy but it just doesn't seem to matter. I am not sure what to try. Good luck to you all. Maybe we can all motivate one another.
Report This| Share this:Desperately Seeking Support and Motivation!I know how you feel. I am new to this joining a blog and actually talking about how hard it is. I have pretty much been a normal size all my life but fr the past 2 years I have put on about 30 pounds and cannot motivate myself to take it off. I just wish I could find a way to stay motivated to keep at the exercise and limited food intake. I try to eat healthy but it just doesn't seem to matter. I am not sure what to try. Good luck to you all. Maybe we can all motivate one another.
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Fit4sure responded:
I lost 40 lbs...and then 40 more...and then 40 more for a total of over 120 lbs! It's not a matter of "if you can do this"...of course you can do this!! It's a matter of (after choosing a healthy way of going about this "calories in vs. calories out" thingy) of persistence...not perfection.

There were days in my weight loss journey that were less than stellar ...I'd mess up with one meal and get back on track immediately rather than allowing that to derail me! I'd say..."okay...I messed up...track it and move on!" We tend to want the weight off too quickly forgetting that we didn't gain it overnight...or even in a week or two! 40 lbs. is completely within your grasp! I lost over 120 in 19 months after over 21 years of obesity. I've maintained that for over 5 years now and it's not because of perfection...(you sound like one of those folks like me who are a little obsessive/compulsive!) but ...PERSISTENCE! Write that on a sticky note and post it on the mirror..."Persistence...not perfection!" and focus on that rather than thinking that your unattractive or worrying about how you look.

There's tons of tips, suggestions, menu plans, ideas, etc...here on WebMd and on other places for free like Sparkpeople, Livestrong, LoseIt...there's places to get support like Weight Watchers (like I did) and more! I did a combination of things wanting all the support I could get. I got personal support from Weight Watchers (meetings, accountability) and get all kinds of support and information from here and Sparkpeople!

Go for it! Don't give up so easily! But don't try to be so very perfect and make it too hard either. The only person stopping you...is yourself!

Instead of focusing on the 40 lbs...focus on 5 lbs. Then go from there to the next 5 lbs.

If you do it in an unhealthy way (too little calories...deprivation...all or nothing attitude in the gym...etc...) then you'll doom yourself to failure because it's not a realistic way to do this.
Report This| Share this:Desperately Seeking Support and Motivation!I lost 40 lbs...and then 40 more...and then 40 more for a total of over 120 lbs! It's not a matter of "if you can do this"...of course you can do this!! It's a matter of (after choosing a healthy way of going about this "calories in vs. calories out" thingy) of persistence...not perfection. <br /> <br />There were days in my weight loss journey that were less than stellar ...I'd mess up with one meal and get back on track immediately rather than allowing that to derail me! I'd say..."okay...I messed up...track it and move on!" We tend to want the weight off too quickly forgetting that we didn't gain it overnight...or even in a week or two! 40 lbs. is completely within your grasp! I lost over 120 in 19 months after over 21 years of obesity. I've maintained that for over 5 years now and it's not because of perfection...(you sound like one of those folks like me who are a little obsessive/compulsive!) but ...PERSISTENCE! Write that on a sticky note and post it on the mirror..."Persistence...not perfection!" and focus on that rather than thinking that your unattractive or worrying about how you look. <br /> <br />There's tons of tips, suggestions, menu plans, ideas, etc...here on WebMd and on other places for free like Sparkpeople, Livestrong, LoseIt...there's places to get support like Weight Watchers (like I did) and more! I did a combination of things wanting all the support I could get. I got personal support from Weight Watchers (meetings, accountability) and get all kinds of support and information from here and Sparkpeople! <br /> <br />Go for it! Don't give up so easily! But don't try to be so very perfect and make it too hard either. The only person stopping you...is yourself!<br /> <br />Instead of focusing on the 40 lbs...focus on 5 lbs. Then go from there to the next 5 lbs.<br /> <br />If you do it in an unhealthy way (too little calories...deprivation...all or nothing attitude in the gym...etc...) then you'll doom yourself to failure because it's not a realistic way to do this.
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Eckleberry responded:
Ho my dear, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN. I have my pretty clothes and my tents. My cute shoes and my old lady shoes and I often hate myself. I have to remind me that GOD made me perfect as I am. My sanity is not my weight. My personaliy is not my weight. But I do love it when I can stand side ways and look in the mirror and not have to "hold my breath". None-the-less the one thing that I have discovered about me is I am very thirsty. I drink lots of water and that makes me feel better. I do exercise daily and when I am out there I breath deeply look at all the beauty in the world and thank God for my many blessings. Ok, Ok I accept that I will never be a size 6, and in doing so I enjoy TODAY. When I start getting frantic about FOOD, I know I am usually not hungary, mostly anxious about something work, something some one said, or my singleness-another holiday alone. But all in all I know that God is good and HE has blessed me everyday.
Report This| Share this:Desperately Seeking Support and Motivation!Ho my dear, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN. I have my pretty clothes and my tents. My cute shoes and my old lady shoes and I often hate myself. I have to remind me that GOD made me perfect as I am. My sanity is not my weight. My personaliy is not my weight. But I do love it when I can stand side ways and look in the mirror and not have to "hold my breath". None-the-less the one thing that I have discovered about me is I am very thirsty. I drink lots of water and that makes me feel better. I do exercise daily and when I am out there I breath deeply look at all the beauty in the world and thank God for my many blessings. Ok, Ok I accept that I will never be a size 6, and in doing so I enjoy TODAY. When I start getting frantic about FOOD, I know I am usually not hungary, mostly anxious about something work, something some one said, or my singleness-another holiday alone. But all in all I know that God is good and HE has blessed me everyday.
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