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    Lost my confidence
    An_254828 posted:
    I started out at 255, I lost 68 lbs and am down to 187. My goal is to get down to 155, but last month my boyfriend literally dumped me out of the blue... on my 30th birthday after two years together with no explanation other than he doesn't love me anymore. My confidence is totally shot. I was originally able to lose weight because I really felt like I had control in my life and felt so sure of myself. Now I just can't find that feeling for more than a few days at a time. I know getting back on track will make me feel better, but I just can't pull myself out of this funk!
    brunosbud responded:
    He left you because he liked it when you were weak, fearful and dependent. When you self-improved, he lost power and he became scared. Maybe that was you intention, maybe not. Either case, keep your wagons headed in the same direction & stay the course! To be healthy is to be empowered and, with it, comes crazy confidence. Plus, you don't need help improving yourself. You've been a dishrag for a long time so, maybe, that's all you remember. Trust me, being nobody's dishrag don't suck, either!
    There's a reason why you're doing this and your bogeying boyfriend is proof it's working. But, If you want him back, so badly, just regain the 70 lbs and he'll come back, running. Believe it or not, dishrags are in huge demand. Good Luck and have a great new year!
    belafaccia responded:
    Great response Brunosbud!

    The fact that he left u is proof that u have control over your life! He didn't like it and couldn't handle the idea of not being able to control u anymore. Don't let what happened drag you down, because that will mean that he still has control over you. Use this as a tool of empowerment. Use this as fuel to stay the course.

    However, what you are feeling is valid and getting dumped is hard. Your heart aches when you think about it, which right now is probably all the time. You have moments where you seem ok, but then you go and cry in the bathroom. But remember, it's called a breakup because something was broken and clearly, it was him! You deserve someone who is going to love, respect, and value you no matter what you look like. You deserve someone who is going to support you in all of your endeavors.

    Do not allow him or the breakup prevent you from being where you want to be. Regardless of what he has said or done or how he has made you feel, never forget that YOU ARE WORTH IT! Hang in there!
    brunosbud replied to belafaccia's response:
    I think most people believe that with "age" comes wisdom. It may be true for most but not for me...

    I believe with "change" comes wisdom. People who embrace change seek new experiences and with each new experience comes growth and maturity. When you look at life from this perspective, ie. that all change, both good and bad, is welcomed, than it becomes easier to accomplish goals such as weight loss. Things such as death of a family member, a divorce or loss of a lover, losing a job or a home, now, take on new meaning.

    "My life will change. How, I don't know, but I will benefit, regardless."

    "Life's a bumpy road. What's one more pothole?"

    The outstanding trait that people with weight issues is clear to me. They resist change. The fear it...thus, they always return to what's comfortable and easy. This explains why people who are overweight lose, literally, hundreds of pounds during the course of their lives.

    To mourn a loss is not just understable, it's long as you keep that loss in your rear-view mirror. If you truly wish to lose weight, you never look back.

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