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How did we get this way?
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Fynness posted:
While responding to a post I received earlier, this topic popped into my head again. I thought I'd share it and see what others think about the society we've become.

Life always changes. As a society, people progress, for the better or worse time will tell. I am of the mind, history repeats itself, this so called "civilized society" we are a part of will have a downfall at some point. We cannot continue being a "disposable" society. Plastics are pet peeve of mine. Just watch Youtube's " The world's largest garbage dump" or "North Pacific Gyre" "Scripps Institution of Oceanography".(tossing wrappers, plastic bottles and containers from drive thru service)

Drive thru's are the bane of America. When did we become SOOOOOO busy that we have no time for meals? For each other? To rest and reflect of our lives? Personally, having grown up in an area where "drive thru" food was non-existent, I don't have an issue with this. Yet, so many, DAILY frequent a drive thru for 1 if not more meals!
When did your schedule change to that of a chicken running around like the sky was falling?

People will offer up a TON of excuses! Regardless of your "reason", it is an excuse. Let me expound on this statement.

We all must work for a living. We must pay bills to provide ourselves with shelter, food and personal amenities.
When did the pursuit of an income, become a status of BUSY, as to where, we no longer have Time?
~*~ Has our society come to a point where, the vocation you have chosen is your status within your community? Are you so important that you simply do not have the time to enjoy life? Will the world suddenly stop, if you don't make certain decisions, a report or fill an order Right That Minute? I doubt it.. but that isn't how people see it. ~*~

We have families. They require our attention. When did raising a family become so BUSY that we cannot make TIME to prepare Meals?
~*~ When did society require parents to tote children to and from schools? (I am well aware of kidnapping, bullying and distance limitations....valid excuses but an excuse all the same)
Has everything outside the home become so important that we negate the need for healthy relationships?
Planning ahead meals for the week, stopping yourself after work,taking time to talk to your spouse, children or simply resting a moment to look back on the day itself as a whole.~*~

I have neighbors that don't talk to one another anymore. They were in a competition of sorts. Who could get the most toys? When I see them and talk to them (separately of course) I hear about the properties, vacation homes and new vehicles that take up their time so they are just too busy with their lives...
In stores shopping, people are on cell phones, literally IGNORING where they are, to whom they SHOULD be addressing and talking to who. About what? Is it THAT important? We are a RUDE society. A society of narcissists.

I have a list, a long list of examples I could provide, but I am sure you recognize the above to be true if you are honest with yourself. We have trained ourselves to use anything that is Fast, Convenient and Easy for Time.

I'm late to work, have to get the kids to practice, have an appointment but running behind .... McDonalds, Wendy's or Starbucks ???

I am sure to hit some nerves with these statements. As I see it though, it all comes down to how we allocate our time. Placing priorities, making better decisions and choices. I thank the Lord, every evening for my comforts and pray for family and friends. I also pray for change...a LOT of change.

Lorrie
Lorrie SW 290 CW 290 GW 185
~~ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein ~~
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jean4u responded:
Lorrie, interesting blog. Very thought provoking. I think Western society in part, has lost value of human life and that affects the quality of our lives. On the surface it looks OK, but how we treat each other is getting worse. Examples of this, I see everyday....getting slammed in the face by doors, getting run over by drivers not observing the "right aways".

Really, I have to do the "self talks" when I leave the house.....now Barb I say to myself "just get out of THEIR way".

I really try to not take it personally when treated ill-manered and at times dangerously.

I recall a time when my elderly Mom was in the hospital and I could not get any Western Dr. to talk to me. It was an Asian Dr. that thought she was of value enough to talk to me and granted her the extra time in the hospital that was of need. I think in the society, elders are looked to with value and that seems to set the tone for their lives and how they live.

Lots to think about.

Barb
 
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mommaxeli replied to jean4u's response:
Very interesting, Lorrie.

I've attempted to respond to this several times. I just can't seem to find the right words without unintentionally stepping on some toes. My position/opinion on our society is often taken the wrong way when I try to express my thoughts. So, I'll suffice it to say that my family is going to be "weird". We are making some choices in how our children are raised that do not conform with society's. It makes my heart ACHE that my children will be marked as "weird" because they are polite and respectful and care about others. When did those qualities become weird in our society?! Maybe not weird, per se, but definitely unexpected and unfortunately sometimes unappreciated and even mocked.

I must remember that our family's goal is not to fit in, though. Acquiring toys and wealth in this world is not our goal. It will be a struggle, for sure, but will be worth it in the end...
SW: 260 CW: 155 GW: 145
 
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jis4judy responded:
Hi Lorrie
this post surprised me when I read the "how did we get this way" in the subject line .I thought you were referring to our condition of being over weight? instead it was all about current life styles in this modern era...
of course some of the modern way of doing things does contribute to being over weight for some of us ..
I am of the mind that just because it is available doesn;t meen I need it , I am also a recycler doing my part to save the world .
I have no cell phone I don;t even have a dishwasher although I recently learned they do use less water ... woulda couda shouda on that one//
I am sure when I was raising my kids they are full grown but we ordered our fare share of ordering take out...
when I was working we used to do chinese food for New years

I never did get into any of the fast foods like mickyDs or the others

I do know my daughter in law is pressed more than I felt while raising my kids they do seem more driven for material things

Not sure if thats because we couldn;t give them everything they desired ...only what was needed...
a tough subject for sure
Hugs Judy:)
SW 247 CW 149ish maintaining

Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
life may not be the Party we expected but while we are here we may as well dance

 
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Fynness replied to jean4u's response:
Hi Barb,

Thank you for your thoughts. Truly, I wanted to see what people really thought about how we live.

I absolutely agree with you! I've only met a few Dr.'s that actually took the time to explain and show me the information I needed. Now I find it is about how many patients and how much money your practice can bring in. It is a sad fact.

When I notice someone acting that way, I am disappointed we have come to this. Common courtesy has all but been removed from society it appears.

I thank goodness I live in an area where when I see someone, I wave and they wave back, say "hello, how is your day" they respond with a bright "hi, great and hope yours is good". When I go to town however, it's everyone for themselves.

Lorrie
Lorrie SW 290 CW 290 GW 185
~~ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein ~~
 
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kalimiller responded:
I don't see how people can afford to eat out so much. In the long run, it is just so much more expensive than preparing your own food. When I was growing up, we would eat out at restaurants a few times a year and pick up fast food even less. My mom cooked dinner every night for a family of seven. It is easy to just want to swing by somewhere and pick up some dinner, but I never feel satisfied the way I do when we cook something ourselves.

I agree with the neighbors comment so much. I knew almost everyone on my block growing up - we would bring each other Christmas treats and do block garage sales. I know one of my neighbors now. It's hard to get to know people, especially when their interactions with you are less than pleasant.

I think one of my least favorite things - since I have worked in customer service - is when people are on their cell phones when checking out. At the store, at the restuarant, whatever. It is so rude and really bothers me. I agree with you 100% that it is just downright RUDE.

I could never live in a big city - I grew up in a smaller town in Texas and am used to the friendliness and general kindness that people there employ. If you don't have enough time to hold the door for someone - or even say thank you, I think that you have your priorities messed up.

Maybe we all just need to move to the same city and live on a sul-de-sac together. LOL. Wouldn't that be something?
-Kali

Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right.
-Henry Ford
 
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Fynness replied to mommaxeli's response:
Mommaxeli,

I applaud you!!! Few of my friends are training their children for the future with manners, morals and education. I see a lot of people buying their child's love, more than likely, due to their inability to spend "time" with their children. Ipod, xbox, toys, clothes and cars are expected from the parents. I've even read a news story where the parents tried to rescue their child from a high school where the child was caught with drugs and was to be arrested. What does that teach our children?

For you to go against the grain, and require your children to learn courtesy, caring and have a moral outlook in life is to be awarded in this day and age!!

Thank you so much for sharing your views and thoughts. I will pray for your continued strength to be able to take a stand and do what is right

Lorrie
Lorrie SW 290 CW 290 GW 185
~~ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein ~~
 
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Fynness replied to jis4judy's response:
Hi Judy

Thank you for sharing. My sons are grown and have their own lives. I am not a grandmother to date either, but watch friends with their grandkids and friends who are bringing up babies still. I remember a time when my son was in his teens and wanted money for a vehicle, we talked about him getting a job. At that time, we had moved to another state, and he told me, " I can't work at blah blah.. my friends go there!! I'll be seen! " I about fell out of my chair... the discussion further ensued and facts were laid out .. it's either work or no driving the car or a vehicle.. no insurance, no license no driving.. It appears, now, that children are given these things if the parents are able to provide it and the child is taught, " what I want I should get".

I have to seriously turn away at some of these little children.. ages (what looks to me to be 7) 7 -pre- teen who have cell phones already! I've seen them in stores, walking behind their mothers shopping, talking to friends.

Worse yet, I've discovered..we are allowing schools to teach ridiculous classes. Many children cannot write legibly.. Period! Some cannot understand cursive nor write cursive. It is apparent in social sites where young people seem to think texting is an actual language and their conversations are carried out with the shortcuts. e.g. hai gurl, b4 u come ovr, stop at blah blah blah... what are we allowing here?

I am afraid of the future, I've often talked to my son about this. It's frightening at times. To realize the future is in the hands of kids that spell and talk that way... I am thankful for Mommaxeli's post and can see that some people are bringing up their children, in what I consider correct, polite, caring and intelligent adults for society. I wish there were more I knew of!

I'm a tough old bird though, I've been around the block a few times, have lived several lifetimes in the one I have here. I am not so much concerned for myself, but, society as a whole. From what you have stated here though, we sound a lot alike. Thank you again Judy for your views

Lorrie
Lorrie SW 290 CW 290 GW 185
~~ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein ~~
 
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jis4judy replied to Fynness's response:
Hi Lorrie I was thinking today about your concern for the future generations No cursive writing for example that requires paper and that paper is in short supply and we will run out of it eventually . soon there would be no trees to make it from ... I am sure our parents and grandparents thought things were going to go bad for us too..
My grandaughter is now in College so you are a baby next to me...
My Father didn't get much schooling he was a farmer and my Mom was a city girl when they married my Mom taught my Dad to read and write... in his youth the things he was taught was farm life hunting fishing and of couse planting and animal care...he didn;t see much value in further education reading and writing was enough ...He was also good at counting his money LOL
I am sure he would be horrified at how things are today .
I see wonderfull things to come ..not sure how I feel about 7 year olds with cell phones maybe it is a good thing that helps their parents keep track of where they are ..
just my thoughts Hugs Judy:)
SW 247 CW 149ish maintaining

Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
life may not be the Party we expected but while we are here we may as well dance

 
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Fynness replied to jis4judy's response:
Judy,

I would hope, most look for recycled products. Specifically paper. We can recycle a great deal now. Let me clarify my fears, if we allow our children to use these "shortcuts" and they stop using the written word as we do now, where does that leave us? It took years to decipher hieroglyphs, if we do not leave correct grammar and English or any language for future generations to study, what does that say about us as a society that we allowed our language to die?

The Mayans for example, there are scarce pockets of Mayan descendents in Mexico, one family we came across where the mother could speak Mayan, refused to teach her children her language for fear of death.The government(Mexican) does not take seriously the loss of that language, the writing. I cannot say if anything is truly being done to preserve the Mayan language, but it is a sad thing when something we could have saved is made extinct.

We assimilate slang and employ it, as it is proper English. Your Father for one was one that aspired to educate himself by learning to read and write from your Mother. Few children I know would love reading a good book over music downloads, games or talking on their smart phones. To be able to communicate effectively, learning to read and write is a necessity.

I don't mean to sound contrary or argumentative, please don't take offense at my response! I do understand your meaning As I stated prior in my first post, life changes, we as a society change as well... I just wish it were for the better rather than the "disposable" society I view around me.

Lorrie
Lorrie SW 290 CW 290 GW 185
~~ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein ~~
 
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Fynness replied to kalimiller's response:
Kali.. Hi

I love that idea ! Having neighbors that shared concern and caring for one another! I do enjoy my daily walks here and being able to stop and chat with neighbors. Even it's simply to say "afternoon".. I very much dislike shopping in town. One of my friends tells me frequently, I need to move to Delaware so we can be closer

Ouch! Customer Service is truly a difficult occupation to contend with!! I imagine you must deal with all kinds of people, so you see the ugliest of society at times.

Nice to meet you and thank you for your views and response to this discussion!

Lorrie
Lorrie SW 290 CW 290 GW 185
~~ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein ~~
 
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blondie454u replied to Fynness's response:
Here is my opinion and I am not being defensive at all just stating from my point of view is all since I am still young with kids at home. I agree with what everyone is saying and I will tell you what I think the problem is. It's from where both parents have to work or in most cases only one parent in a family as far as the convenient food goes. I literally lose sleep time because of cooking dinner and getting up 3 hours prior of work to make sure my kids eat breakfast. If things were where one parent stays home while the other works then you could focus on manners and such. My bf and I both try to encourage proper manners and how to treat others with respect but if you never really see your children how is that possible? When you get home from work you're tired and wore out. Yes that is an excuse and not a good one because I am tired too but I manage to my tiredness aside and do it any way. There are some nights I only get a few hours of sleep either because I have so much to do or so much on my brain that I have to do the next day. I would love to be a stay at home mom and be able to take better care of my family but the cost of living expenses won't allow it even if I need away with cell phones and such. My rent, utilities, and groceries are to high for just one income. My bf would also love for me to stay so our family would have a better life. As far as school goes I don't know about other schools but it seems more like the teachers don't teach. It's up to the student and parents to teach the kids. Then whats the point of teachers? If both parents are working how is this possible? Basically what I am saying is that even when I have the weekends off we don't have time for family time. Kids have projects to do or I have no money to do anything because of bills and such or I am too busy getting the house organized and planning meals there isn't any time left. My bf and I never get a break there is always something. Any way this is my rant.
Amber CW 135 maintaining, SW 250. Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of a mental illness.
 
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totallywiggedout responded:
Ok, my turn to chime in I guess.
Lorrie, good topic. Very thought provoking and a truly serious matter for those of us who give a rats ass about how things may be in the near future.
I am a child of the 60s. McDonalds took off like a big bird in that decade and I can still remember to this day when the sign in my home town was switched to read "Over a Million Served". Now McDonalds is multinational and Billions of ppl have been counted as customers. Myself among them.
I'm not ashamed to admit that as a single divorced full time working mother of three fast food was sometimes considered more of a "staple" diet rather than a "treat". Fact was, I could afford the convenience and it gave me time to sit down and look my kids in the eye to talk to them. Albeit over a plastic table filled with disposible papergoods wrapped greasy foods. But that convenience, of someone else cooking for me, cheaply, so that I could spend the time that I would've been cooking and not chatting up my kids.... Well , that time was priceless. I'm a whirlwind in the kitchen, don't get in my way type of person, so it was not only convenient but really, quite NECESSARY to do the fast food thing sometimes in order to really connect with my family, for more time.
No matter what, even if we ate out, my one solid criteria for my boys was, unless you are working or with your dad, we ALL sit down to supper. Wherever, whenever but that was a rule.
On the subject of convenience, this is very tough. Cell phones are the blessing and the bane of our current society and the cell phone companies know it.
If a child is carrying a cell phone and the battery is still in place and it's got some charge, your child has a much better chance of being found through triangulation.
If you are in an accident, at home or away, or if you encounter someone else that has, cell phones can save lives. It's a fact that cannot be ignored, they have saved many lives since their inception.
BUT, and herein lies the rub, we PAY for this convenience and pay A LOT. Most cell phones with just basic coverage can now easily run over $60 a month, that's BASIC no frills coverage, where you will pay through the nose if you talk too often or get too many people calling you. Most people with cells now, have unlimited text and nationwide calling and you can figure on at least $90-$120 per phone monthly.
Television is a convenience that costs. For me, it's a no brainer, I don't watch it, so I only keep the basic amount so that I can have the better internet service. But, with kids at home, and if you can't afford some dates out for a movie or Redbox or Netflix or something, Television is fun to have. BUT IT COSTS.
The Internet, programming still runs the gammut from dial up to full on T1 dedicated lines. But for most of us, it's somthing we cannot do without. It is the best, fastest, most diverse source of information available for the price. But , again, convenience has a price.
As for earlier generations not needing these things... well , as soon as they were developed and mass produced well enough to make them cheap enough for the common man, it says alot that most people jumped on the bandwagon VERY QUICKLY. It just hadn't been available before. But , lets face it , convenience for conveniencys sake is VERY desireable.
We have become a disposable society. You are right. And we DO need to figure out better ways to handle the flotsom and jetsom of our packaging and castoffs.
lol god this is long, ill get back to this later, I do have more to say
huggs
k
Kim SW 243 CW 184.3 GW 135

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger---Friedrich Nietzche








 
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rohvannyn responded:
So many things to respond to here, and thank you for the post. I'm relatively young at 33, however I see the same things everyone else here sees. I was homeschooled up to high school and had a very good relationship with both my parents. We were dirt poor much of my life but at the same time, we were lucky to be able to do many things to survive that aren't possible now.

When I was little, my folks canned fruit and joined the Gleaners to pick leftover crops and dried and shopped sales and grew food. Now, many of the places we went to get cheap, healfhful food are outlawed by regulations or are simply repackaged to be sold at Dollar Stores or Grocery Outlet. My folks raised me to think that a handful of sunflower seeds or an orange were as good as candy. When I was a toddler I hiked for miles with both of them. I started gaining weight when I walked less and ate more and started watching TV. So much I could write about that.

My dad stayed home and educated me, he's blind and so we had a little supplemental income. Most families seem to need two parents working to make ends meet let alone luxuries. We never had cable, we never had cell phones, we shared rides, we walked. We worked for what we had and never used food stamps. The more TV I watched, the fatter I got, and also the more junk I ate. I'm not blaming TV, but when I went out on my own I started liking the junk more because it was easier. The same is true for many, I think.

I'm not sure what's wrong with education. I see massive spelling/grammar errors constantly and no one seems to be able to use an apostrophe. My mom made me learn cursive. Someday I want to learn copperplate handwriting as well. I want to do that because I yearn for a time of more elegance. Has anyone noticed the uglification of America? Do folks even want to look neat and clean and nice anymore? Perhaps, but it's rarer. I know Plato complained about similar things. There are so many things I could say.

Courtesy is so important. Putting yourself in another's shoes. How do we learn this? Not neccessarily from religion, some of the rudest people I've met were very religious. From our parents. From how our parents treat us. How the world treats us. Let's all be wierd, let's all be polite, and let's all think about how we treat the world, and ourselves.
Roh SW 220ish and fluffy CW 178.0 GW 140ish and buff

'Your focus determines your reality.' -QGJ

'Try not. Only do.' --Y
 
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totallywiggedout replied to totallywiggedout's response:
I'm baaaaaack!
Where was I?? Ummmm, yeh.
We have become good at multitasking, not only because it helps get more done throughout the day, but because it's EXPECTED of us. If you can't handle multitasking, you won't find a job even at McDonalds. There is no such thing as a person who just does one thing and does it well anymore. We need to do 10 things and have a few on the side for the occasions we have a couple of minutes downtime.
Unfortunately, this has made us more self involved. We no longer "see" people other than as obstacles in our way or as steps to get us to a higher position, faster.
There truly isn't enough TIME to slow down and relate to people anymore.
Which brings me to handwriting vs technology(blogs, txts, email, and ereaders). Books are becoming obsolete and making written words is time consuming and difficult without "spellcheck", so the popular concensus is "why do it?"
I would like an ereader only because I read so much, sometimes holding the books gets heavy and eventually my hands start to feel like I've given myself carpol tunnel again. Other than that..... My feeling is, if the world came to an end tomorrow, I'd find a nice stash of guns and ammo, and move into the biggest library I could get to that had a food source close by. I could survive without much of everything else, except food and books. I am a bibliophile and have been since I learned to read. I like the feel of books, their history and their constance. If the power goes out and I have no batteries, I can still read a book, but not an ereader or computer.
Propriety dictates that children must be raised first, at home. This is where ALL of the most important aspects of our HUMANNESS originate. I would never expect a teacher to teach my kids common manners , those are instilled into a child first and foremost in how he or she relates to his family.
Technology and conveniences only have the ability to rob us of our humanity and sensabilities if we LET them. I just hope at the end of the day, eveyone can become a little wiser, a little more loving and a little more caring for their fellow man.
k
Kim SW 243 CW 184.3 GW 135

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger---Friedrich Nietzche










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