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    Hidden Calories
    Tomato05 posted:
    I read somewhere recently where someone was writing about hidden calories, and it struck me that my calories aren't hidden - they are all out in the open!

    I mostly eat fairly plain food, no complicated recipes either and don't eat out much. So, it is probably an advantage that I know where the calories are coming from, but on the other hand, it is also then even less of an excuse that I eat too many calories!

    Not that "hidden anything" is probably the right topic for me to dwell upon at the moment, having discovered my husband's cheating lying ways...

    But yesterday I actually laughed for the first time since I caught him out. I met my friend (I only have 3 good friends that I can confide in) for coffee and we were discussing the issue, and I was telling her how he called himself "Tiger" in his messages to the mistress, and she burst out laughing. Suddenly I found it hilarious too (he is not a tiger-like type at all, not the word that comes to mind when you look at him) and we were falling about in the cafe with giggles, how weird. I think it was all my bottled up emotions that suddenly escaped; I could not stop laughing. Very frivolous, but it was very cathartic.
    totallywiggedout responded:
    Isn't it strange that women who are younger and trying to pick up an older husband(usually already married at the time) ALWAYS give them "pet names" that make the man feel more masculine than he really is? Or .... they call them daddy, lol. Given the choice, i can see why he'd stick with Tiger.... bhahahahaha!
    I'm very glad that you got some relief from the stress. Laughter really can be the best medicine in these situations. I'm glad that you have 3 decent enough friends that you feel you can turn to in dire times. Use em, that's what they are there for, sweety.
    Keep your chin up and a smile on your face. Let him wonder what you are up to.
    Kim SW 243 CW 182.6 GW 135

    If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

    What doesn't kill us makes us stronger---Friedrich Nietzche

    jean4u responded:

    You deserve a good laugh. I think these older men struggle with aging. Your husband seems to be like my husband in many ways. Mine was very conservative in appearance.

    We have been divorced 10 yrs. now and he confides to my/his 2 daughters of his health ailments. Believe me those young honeys only want these old guys' wallets. When these "Tigers" are down with health issues their young gals will find young hot men to keep them company and another "Tiger" to take them shopping.

    Meanwhile take good care of yourself and get through this tough time. You WILL have a good life after Tiger becomes Tigger!

    Tomato05 replied to jean4u's response:
    Yes, Kim and Barb: a Tiger he won't remain for long before she finds a Lion or something!

    And I think he is nervous about what I'm up to.

    I am particularly looking forward to eventually telling our friends about his affair; there is a gossiper (an ex-colleague of his) amongst them who will definitely spread the word.
    jean4u replied to Tomato05's response:
    And he should be (nervous)! He created this situation that won't go away. Like you say some of his friends will look down on his behavior. Don't be surprised the stories that come out. My husband was stalking a younger gal from work. He would go to her 2nd job at a bar and hang out there. I was told that this behavior made her uncomfortable becaause he was her boss at her day job and she knew about him being married.

    Well just know that there is nothing you can do about his behavior unless he wants to change it. My husband would lie to me. When he left, he said he was coming back, but never did. I got "surprise" divorce papers the day before Thanksgiving.

    The best advice I can give you is don't trust him about anything. Try to get an objective mind about this. I know you have ALOT of emotions going on right now. You will only have ONE chance to get this as right as possible for you if you do go through the divorce. No do overs and that is why it is so important to explore all your options. For example, my husband overlooked two insurance policies, he was in such a hurry to go (packed up and left when I was at work) he over looked them and I was able to get cash value.

    totallywiggedout replied to Tomato05's response:
    Just remember, through all of this, that it wasn't YOUR shortcomings that led him astray. It was HIS.
    Kim SW 243 CW 182.6 GW 135

    If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

    What doesn't kill us makes us stronger---Friedrich Nietzche

    blondie454u responded:
    Glad you had a good time considering the circumstances. Laughter is the best medicine.
    Amber CW 135 maintaining, SW 250. Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of a mental illness.
    jis4judy responded:
    thats is funny all that bottled up emotion comeing out in Laughter that must have felt good I am the same way all My food is rather plain without any hidden calories
    I am glad you can laugh about this situation..
    Hugs Judy:)
    SW 247 CW 149ish maintaining

    Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
    life may not be the Party we expected but while we are here we may as well dance

    abnersmom responded:
    So glad that you had this cathartic laugh with a friend. Friends sure helped me get through my divorce - shoot, they;ve helped me get through all of life's turmoil!
    Debbie SW 265 CW 155 GW 150 - To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable. Helen Keller

    mefirstforever responded:
    Hi Tomato,

    I'm glad that you have good friend to talk to and to let out some steam.
    I could have a few chosen word for your X but it would be censured and it would be a waist of energy.

    I will concentrate my energy on you and send you peace and loving waves.
    Helene GW 140 CW 198.2 SW 224
    Every day is a gift do your best, be kind including to yourself and smile.

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