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Hello ladies I'm back !!!
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mefirstforever posted:
Hello to all my friends and new friends.

I've been gone for a while from this group, lurking once in a while. But not having the energy or the courage to engage. I admire all of you hanging in there in all adversities. I read quite a few life hearth ship situations in the last few weeks and my hearth good to you all with a big hug.
On the other hand I read that all of you have doing very well in maintaining or loosing a bunch of weight. Hooray to ALL!!!!

Welcome to all the newbies and they are many so much fun the more the merrier.

As for me the last few weeks have been ok. But looking forward to great. I'm cleaning more than my closet lately and I feel so much lighter but got to work on the guilt part. Well it all came out at the same time and in a wrong way. I would try to fix some of what I said. But what is said is said and can never be taken back, so I have to live with it. I don't think I should feel sorry for telling how I feel.
I can't live on the appearance of perfection anymore.

Ho babble babble away nothing is ever so bad !!!! I just have to pick myself up dust off and just be me. Boy 55 soon really affects me. No more bs for me. I guess it's never to late.

Back to reality I will lose the weight; I started this week walking in the morning 15 to 20 minutes at a slow pace. Figure this would be ok just to get used to get out of the house every day and see the sunlight.
Next week, will be on the agenda "the water business"

I will take one week at the time and one day at the time.

Hugs to all
Helene
Helene GW 140 CW 198.2 SW 224
Every day is a gift do your best, be kind including to yourself and smile.
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totallywiggedout responded:
Helene, did I miss a post or something?? What did you say that "can't be unsaid" that could possibly make you hide away like that? Did you say it here ,or was it an "at home" situation that threw you off? My God, Helene, we all know your heart is in the right place. I blog some stuff that maybe offends too sometimes, but , it's how I feel at the time and if I feel that I need to vent or carry on or just let it all hang out, like my nasty dirty mind, lol , then I feel safe enough here to let go.
If it was at home, hon, share it and let us take some of the burdeon. We always do here. You know? If this place isn't a safe haven of support, I don't know what is, outside of Heaven , there's no better , safer place to just "be yourself".
Helene, if you are worried that we all are doing so well, lol, I gotta say, no, I'm for sure not. My prized Magik Bullet took a dump on me a few weeks back and I've been hell bent for high water to EAT everything in sight lately. Not just because of the blender, but , I also hate confrontational situations and I've had more than my share lately and it's starting to max out my emotional eating quota. I've gained 3 lbs.
So it's NOT good everywhere for everyone here, not this month. So don't feel like a failure or whatever if you aren't losing , or can't keep focus lately. A few of us ARE struggling.
I'm with you on refocusing on the water. And I really REALLY hope you do start to take those walks. They do help to relax your mind and exercise your body, plus, Helene, it must be quite beautiful up there, enjoy the scenery on your walks, don't just focus on the ground. I tend to stay stressed during my walks if I just watch the path, but if I actually look up, to the trees, to the sky , to see something unexpected like small lizards or frogs or land tortoises.... or to look passing ppl in the eye and say "hi" makes my walk seem all that much more "meaningful".
stick around with us, Helene, glad you are back .
huggs
k
Kim SW 243 CW 182.6 GW 135

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger---Friedrich Nietzche








 
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mefirstforever replied to totallywiggedout's response:
How my gosh no. Everyone have been so good to me on this blog. It was probably the only way I lost all that weight.
I had a spill with my mother and it was ugly. She a saint and I'm well you see. So I blew a fews. I've been there for here true all here illnesses and all she does is complain about ridiculous things. The hedges hare to hight, there are to many leaves not picked up. Have to wash the windows and on and on and on. All non life threatening things. She is a control freak and I'm a, I don't care that there is a leaf out of place kind of girl so water and oil don't mix well.

Sorry to ear that your on a up slope no punt intended but you said you eat everything on site. Now why is it on site?

Maybe while all this lovely people are staying in your house you could have a cupboard that is no Kim land for a while just to get back on track. I know it's easier said than done
Helene GW 140 CW 198.2 SW 224
Every day is a gift do your best, be kind including to yourself and smile.
 
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hopeilose replied to mefirstforever's response:
Hi Helene,
Sorry to hear about your spat with your Mom. Sometimes when folks get older they feel the need to still be in charge with their own business. ANd they dont mean to complain but I honestly think it makes them feel as if they still have worth. It is a sad situation when they get older sometimes, and just as hard on the care giver. Glad you take it all in stride

I was fortunate in that aspect, my folks really didnt complain to me about anything. I lost both my Mom and Dad last year, six months apart. so it was a hell of a year.

You take care, and God bless you and your Mom...Nancy
 
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rohvannyn replied to hopeilose's response:
Hang in there! I've been a caregiver and know how tough it can be. Quadruple that if it's a relative, multiply by ten if it's a parent. My hat is off to you for not blowing a fuse a long time ago. Take care of herself. I think the others are right and she is probably trying to exert control as she feels she is losing control over more and more aspects of her life. It doesn't make things any easier though!

I'm another one who isn't having perfect progress. Some insanity convinced me to eat a little grain again, and some unneccessary calories, so I'm working on nipping the old sugar craving cycle in the bud again. It's always harder around Halloween. I've probably gained a little but I've got enough other stuff going on right now I don't want to look at accusatory numbers as well. I'm feeling worse in pretty much every way, and that's enough incentive to get back on track.

I hope...
Roh SW 220ish and fluffy CW 178.0 GW 140ish and buff

'Your focus determines your reality.' -QGJ

'Try not. Only do.' --Y
 
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totallywiggedout replied to mefirstforever's response:
It's my bf's regular stores of chips too, not just the kids stuff. It's all just THERE you know?? When it was just us , I could stay focused because when I went to the fridge, there was just the good for me stuff to choose from, now , it's all the
"good stuff" in the wrong context. The boys and Monica are constantly eating at odd hours too. They eat dinner then eat a late something or other, cooked, so that the whole house smells of garlic or cheese or soup or pasta..... it's friggen killing me.
Then I go to bed to read and "escape" and oh looky here! CHIPS and Pork rinds and Bugels and .... there really IS no place to escape it now.
I mean, even while we are sleeping, Monica, being a LATE LATE person and restless sleeper, cooks something at like 3 am. So even in my dreams I'm smelling freshly cooked high fat foods. You should see the bags under my eyes! I think it's from worrying about what I'll eat next.

huggs Helene
k
Kim SW 243 CW 182.6 GW 135

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger---Friedrich Nietzche








 
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totallywiggedout replied to mefirstforever's response:
Helene, you can't change your mother. It's unfortunate that she has decided to be so darned nitpicky while you are trying to focus on yourself and what you need. But just let it roll off your back. Use your time away to regroup and regenerate. Helene you need time away from your mother. She's a big girl. If she has energy enough to gripe she can look after herself for an afternoon 3-4 days a week so that you can do for you.
huggs
k
Kim SW 243 CW 182.6 GW 135

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger---Friedrich Nietzche








 
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jean4u responded:
Helene, Your presence was still here even thouth you weren't writing. Sometimes we need a break.

About your Mom, when I had both of my parents in a nursing home (the same one so they could visit). I had a "breaking" moment, too. I recall it clearly....I had their belongings on a cart and had to do a room change and they both were talking/asking me for things. At the time I still had a family at home to care for. I remember I just started to cry. I was overwhelmed. I was not working on my weight at that time.

Helene, just do the best you can do. Set limits with your Mom. Some people, the perfectionists, will always find a speck of dust. Really, you know that speck won't physically hurt her and if she dwells on it, you can't change that either, because it will ALWAYS be something.

You got to get out of the house. It is a game-changer. Good that you are making the effort to do this and it does take effort too. So easy to stay home (our cave) and get bored and guess what, snack.

You/we can always push RESET. I had to do that with the late night snacks. Doing better. Also with the hydration doing better.

Also, you/we are not responsible to make people happy. It took me a long time to figure that one out. We are responsible for OUR lives though.

One last thing (and I labor about this) letting go of the past, whether it is relationships, food choices, you name it, we can't change the past and we can only plan for the future, all we can act on is the PRESENT.

Barb
 
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blondie454u replied to jean4u's response:
Great advice Barb!

Helene,

Like everyone else said hang in there and do the best you can do. My grandmother was the exact same way. My mom and I both would do whatever it took to make her happy. Needless to say nothing ever did so I stopped. I did the things that she needed and my mom still did the other. My mom is a different person and can handle such things so I know your pain. I always try to look at it as a reminder to myself not treat my love ones the same way if I can help it.
Amber CW 135 maintaining, SW 250. Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of a mental illness.
 
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jean4u replied to totallywiggedout's response:
Kim, I really wanted to post a life-line to YOU, too. You have been taken over! I don't know what I would do. I rarely have company and when I do it is usually just one person and for the most part I control what foods come into the house. My DH is the white carb pusher.

Just keep pushing RESET and when you slip, get back on track ASAP. Someday the company will go and you will still have YOU....or if they stay a really long time, you will have to deal with your results.

Barb
 
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mefirstforever replied to totallywiggedout's response:
Thanks to all, It does help to read that you all have been there and that we are not alone. Since I don't have many friends to talk to it is sometime hard to put things in perspective.
I see that this is a general feeling about care givers. Yes my mom is afraid of loosing control of her life. I had a taste of that when she was in the hospital 3 times this summer. She was so paranoid that they where trying to place her in a home even dough I reassured her that she was coming home. She was a nurse so she very well aware of what goes on in those homes. She 82 with a good general health and has all her faculties, doesn't know how blessed she is. The problem is that she does not live the present and enjoys life.
Yes Barb we have a past that is not so pleasant.
My kids think strongly that I should do my thing and stop worrying about my mom. I'm now looking for a home to move. We live right now in the duplex of my mother to close for comfort. It was good for her while she was sick.
Looking for a small home for 6 months summer and will live 6 months where it's warm. Right now my Spongylitis is acting up and I feel lousy which does not help my mood.
Nancy sorry about your lost, the last year must have been terrible.
Amber, Row your support is so much appreciated.

I hope that November bring a reset button for all and that we can all kick but !!!!
Helene GW 140 CW 198.2 SW 224
Every day is a gift do your best, be kind including to yourself and smile.
 
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totallywiggedout replied to jean4u's response:
I know. It looks like the stay is gonna be a bit on the long side. Probably through the winter.... eye roll.... so.... My majik bullet blades should be here by beginning of next week or maybe even end of this one. I'm thinking that when i get them , I'm going on a 3 day smoothie "cleanse". I can fill up on my smoothies and get all my recommended nutrients with a few less calories for a few days, to get my "reset" started.
Like Roh, I've been feeling really crappy. Body wise/health wise. I know that this recent change in my eating/snacking/exercising is very bad for me. I can FEEL it . It's YUCKY!
So, I'm also going to stock up on some big cans of low sodium V8 to drink in between water and smoothies during that time. I'm gonna get back to where I need to be.
I actually am still about on track for Oct goals. I'm back down to 183 so I may make it to 180 for Nov 1 , we shall see.
huggs
k
Kim SW 243 CW 182.6 GW 135

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger---Friedrich Nietzche








 
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jis4judy responded:
Hi Helene welcome back so nice to see a post from you
I hear you on how frustrating it can be to be with someone so controling I certainly hope I don;t get that way when I need help if ever I am trying to prevent that with my journey . to be dependant on someone is not in my nature and would be difficult at best ...
Hugs Judy:)
SW 247 CW 149ish maintaining

Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
life may not be the Party we expected but while we are here we may as well dance

 
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abnersmom replied to mefirstforever's response:
Hi Helene! Good to hear from you, but so sorry that you're having a rough tine. Barb's advice about not being responsible for making others happy is so important. I spent a lot of years trying to make others happy and it is total waste of emotional and physical energy. Caregivers have the toughest jobs - I certainly did when I cared for one of my sisters for a year and a half. Hang in there and come vent whenever you have time!
Debbie SW 265 CW 155 GW 150 - To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable. Helen Keller


 
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abnersmom replied to totallywiggedout's response:
Kim, Of course, I encourage you to get back on track as you have done so well, but don't beat yourself up while you are in this tough situation. This too shall pass and you will get back on your healthy journey. I think you're amazing for tolerating someone cooking at 3am who is not working a night shift. Terribly inconsiderate in my book. I admire your patience and love for your children.
Debbie SW 265 CW 155 GW 150 - To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable. Helen Keller




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