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Working past discouragement
Kl212604 posted:
Hi all. This is my first time posting, but I often read these boards while I'm at work (WebMD is one of the few websites I can access from there). A little backstory about myself -- I'm 26, female, and when I graduated from college and got a full time job where I literally sit all day, I went from weighing about 130-140lbs to 180 in less than 6 months. Since then I've gained even more, and in total in the past 5 years I have gone from 115lbs to 206. I've also been diagnosed with PCOS, and I just started taking birth control pills and metformin (which has been making my stomach hurt really badly) to help control some of the symptoms.
I've been concerned about my weight for a while, and have (mostly unsuccessfully) dieted off and on since I gained most of my weight. A variety of factors including a back injury that prevented a lot of movement and my partner being unconcerned with weight loss and being healthy made it really difficult to be serious about dieting and exercising. Fortunately, my back injury is no longer plaguing me like before, and about 3 months ago, I had a candid talk with my partner about needing her help and support as I try to get healthier. To my surprise and delight, she not only agreed, but she decided to also start getting healthier, exercising and trying to lose weight. While this has been mostly great -- it's also why I'm posting.
In the past 3 months, my partner has lost over 30 lbs. She started out at around 250lbs, and now she can fit into many of my clothes. I feel so proud of her, and I know she feels a lot better about herself, too. Unfortunately, I'm dealing with some intense jealously over her weight loss. At this point, I've only lost 20lbs, and I've been stagnant at 186lbs for a couple weeks now. I feel so happy for her, but when she comes home and talks about how everybody has been telling her how good she looks, I get so incredibly discouraged.
Being stuck at this place when I work so hard exercising every other day, eating only 1200 calories a day, and constantly thinking about losing this weight makes me wonder why I even try. It's been very hard for the past 2 weeks or so to keep motivated when I feel like it's all for nothing because I'm just not seeing results. I feel frustrated, and discouraged, and guilty because I don't feel as happy for my partner as I could be because of my own lack of progress.
I'm hoping somebody has some advice for me to be able to get past feeling so discouraged and jealous. I'd be really grateful for any help. Thanks!
I've been concerned about my weight for a while, and have (mostly unsuccessfully) dieted off and on since I gained most of my weight. A variety of factors including a back injury that prevented a lot of movement and my partner being unconcerned with weight loss and being healthy made it really difficult to be serious about dieting and exercising. Fortunately, my back injury is no longer plaguing me like before, and about 3 months ago, I had a candid talk with my partner about needing her help and support as I try to get healthier. To my surprise and delight, she not only agreed, but she decided to also start getting healthier, exercising and trying to lose weight. While this has been mostly great -- it's also why I'm posting.
In the past 3 months, my partner has lost over 30 lbs. She started out at around 250lbs, and now she can fit into many of my clothes. I feel so proud of her, and I know she feels a lot better about herself, too. Unfortunately, I'm dealing with some intense jealously over her weight loss. At this point, I've only lost 20lbs, and I've been stagnant at 186lbs for a couple weeks now. I feel so happy for her, but when she comes home and talks about how everybody has been telling her how good she looks, I get so incredibly discouraged.
Being stuck at this place when I work so hard exercising every other day, eating only 1200 calories a day, and constantly thinking about losing this weight makes me wonder why I even try. It's been very hard for the past 2 weeks or so to keep motivated when I feel like it's all for nothing because I'm just not seeing results. I feel frustrated, and discouraged, and guilty because I don't feel as happy for my partner as I could be because of my own lack of progress.
I'm hoping somebody has some advice for me to be able to get past feeling so discouraged and jealous. I'd be really grateful for any help. Thanks!
8 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:Working past discouragementHi all. This is my first time posting, but I often read these boards while I'm at work (WebMD is one of the few websites I can access from there). A little backstory about myself -- I'm 26, female, and when I graduated from college and got a full time job where I literally sit all day, I went from weighing about 130-140lbs to 180 in less than 6 months. Since then I've gained even more, and in total in the past 5 years I have gone from 115lbs to 206. I've also been diagnosed with PCOS, and I just started taking birth control pills and metformin (which has been making my stomach hurt really badly) to help control some of the symptoms. <br /><br />I've been concerned about my weight for a while, and have (mostly unsuccessfully) dieted off and on since I gained most of my weight. A variety of factors including a back injury that prevented a lot of movement and my partner being unconcerned with weight loss and being healthy made it really difficult to be serious about dieting and exercising. Fortunately, my back injury is no longer plaguing me like before, and about 3 months ago, I had a candid talk with my partner about needing her help and support as I try to get healthier. To my surprise and delight, she not only agreed, but she decided to also start getting healthier, exercising and trying to lose weight. While this has been mostly great -- it's also why I'm posting. <br /><br />In the past 3 months, my partner has lost over 30 lbs. She started out at around 250lbs, and now she can fit into many of my clothes. I feel so proud of her, and I know she feels a lot better about herself, too. Unfortunately, I'm dealing with some intense jealously over her weight loss. At this point, I've only lost 20lbs, and I've been stagnant at 186lbs for a couple weeks now. I feel so happy for her, but when she comes home and talks about how everybody has been telling her how good she looks, I get so incredibly discouraged. <br /><br />Being stuck at this place when I work so hard exercising every other day, eating only 1200 calories a day, and constantly thinking about losing this weight makes me wonder why I even try. It's been very hard for the past 2 weeks or so to keep motivated when I feel like it's all for nothing because I'm just not seeing results. I feel frustrated, and discouraged, and guilty because I don't feel as happy for my partner as I could be because of my own lack of progress. <br /><br />I'm hoping somebody has some advice for me to be able to get past feeling so discouraged and jealous. I'd be really grateful for any help. Thanks!
Rohvannyn responded:
Welcome to the community! I access this site from work as well, as it's about the only one I can get to besides the normal internal stuff. I hope you enjoy it here. The people are awesome!
Sorry to hear about your different rates of weight loss. That can be really frustrating. Perhaps you might change your dieting strategy, or change the type of exercise you do. For example, I find that eating something high protein, such as hard boiled eggs, for breakfast can help me curb my cravings later. But, everybody's different. Finding what is best for you is half of success, the other half is sticking to it. That's what I think, anyway! Check out the newcomer's tips section over on the right if you haven't already. Once again, welcome!
Sorry to hear about your different rates of weight loss. That can be really frustrating. Perhaps you might change your dieting strategy, or change the type of exercise you do. For example, I find that eating something high protein, such as hard boiled eggs, for breakfast can help me curb my cravings later. But, everybody's different. Finding what is best for you is half of success, the other half is sticking to it. That's what I think, anyway! Check out the newcomer's tips section over on the right if you haven't already. Once again, welcome!
Roh SW 220ish and fluffy CW 178.0 GW 140ish and buff
'Your focus determines your reality.' -QGJ
'Try not. Only do.' --Y
'Your focus determines your reality.' -QGJ
'Try not. Only do.' --Y
Report This| Share this:Working past discouragementWelcome to the community! I access this site from work as well, as it's about the only one I can get to besides the normal internal stuff. I hope you enjoy it here. The people are awesome!<br /> <br />Sorry to hear about your different rates of weight loss. That can be really frustrating. Perhaps you might change your dieting strategy, or change the type of exercise you do. For example, I find that eating something high protein, such as hard boiled eggs, for breakfast can help me curb my cravings later. But, everybody's different. Finding what is best for you is half of success, the other half is sticking to it. That's what I think, anyway! Check out the newcomer's tips section over on the right if you haven't already. Once again, welcome!
TotallyWiggedOut responded:
I want to reply to this but am having technical difficulties... so bear with me plz
Kim SW 243 CW 180.4 GW 135
If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous
The Habits that Live are the Ones We Feed.---fellow blogger
If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous
The Habits that Live are the Ones We Feed.---fellow blogger
Report This| Share this:Working past discouragementI want to reply to this but am having technical difficulties... so bear with me plz
TotallyWiggedOut responded:
OMG so that first one posted, maybe it's fixed now, it wouldn't let me post ANY replies today, nor even start a discussion it just kept resetting to top of page.....
Ok , so, HI K12! Welcome
My advice to you right now, that you have hit your first major Plateau is , take down your measurements. Both rt and lft biceps, Bust across nipples, waist, lower tummy at widest spot, hips, Both rt and lft wrists, rt and lft thigh at widest point, rt and lft calf and rt and lft ankles.
Keep these lists and remeasure every month or so.; This will give you something to look at other than the numbers on the scale, especially when those buggers refuse to move(or even go up from time to time) because, even if you aren't getting the compliments like your sig other, you ARE losing weight AND inches.
So let me first say.... HEY! You LOOK GREAT!!! Have you been losing weight???? O.o
You are doing just fine, and plateaus happen. Your body is just taking some time to readjust to it's new improved look. The first 20 lbs or so, ALWAYS fall off easier than the rest. It's just a fact. Because it's mostly water weight on heavier ppl. Continue to watch your calories, but also watch sodium. Take it as low as you possibly can, because it WILL make you retain water weight.... also , take into consideration your mestrual cycle. If you tend to gain a few a couple weeks before and lose gradually during and after, then that could be some of the problem.
Remember, although you are trying to lose weight and get healthier as a couple, you are your own person whose body has it's own set responses to weightloss. You are doing this FOR YOU and YOU only. NOT for anyone else, nor for congratulatory comments from others. FOR YOUR HEALTH.
I'm reposting our tried and true recipes posting that we contribute to, you may like some of them, if you have some to share, please post.... also If you like the blog, plz save it to your discussions list so that you can easily go back and find it.
Same with this posting of our exercise videos to use. Some of us have crappy knees, arthritis, bad backs, or all of the above.... these videos are free and pretty easy on the body. Great for beginners, but , most of them allow for upping the amperage if you want to sweat more....
Once more, Congratulations on losing some weight so far. Don't give up, because, hunny, you have JUST BEGUN on your journey of a lifetime.
huggs
kim
recipes
http://forums.webmd.com/3/dieting-club-50-100-lbs-exchange/forum/2523
exercise
http://forums.webmd.com/3/dieting-club-50-100-lbs-exchange/forum/2753
Ok , so, HI K12! Welcome
My advice to you right now, that you have hit your first major Plateau is , take down your measurements. Both rt and lft biceps, Bust across nipples, waist, lower tummy at widest spot, hips, Both rt and lft wrists, rt and lft thigh at widest point, rt and lft calf and rt and lft ankles.
Keep these lists and remeasure every month or so.; This will give you something to look at other than the numbers on the scale, especially when those buggers refuse to move(or even go up from time to time) because, even if you aren't getting the compliments like your sig other, you ARE losing weight AND inches.
So let me first say.... HEY! You LOOK GREAT!!! Have you been losing weight???? O.o
You are doing just fine, and plateaus happen. Your body is just taking some time to readjust to it's new improved look. The first 20 lbs or so, ALWAYS fall off easier than the rest. It's just a fact. Because it's mostly water weight on heavier ppl. Continue to watch your calories, but also watch sodium. Take it as low as you possibly can, because it WILL make you retain water weight.... also , take into consideration your mestrual cycle. If you tend to gain a few a couple weeks before and lose gradually during and after, then that could be some of the problem.
Remember, although you are trying to lose weight and get healthier as a couple, you are your own person whose body has it's own set responses to weightloss. You are doing this FOR YOU and YOU only. NOT for anyone else, nor for congratulatory comments from others. FOR YOUR HEALTH.
I'm reposting our tried and true recipes posting that we contribute to, you may like some of them, if you have some to share, please post.... also If you like the blog, plz save it to your discussions list so that you can easily go back and find it.
Same with this posting of our exercise videos to use. Some of us have crappy knees, arthritis, bad backs, or all of the above.... these videos are free and pretty easy on the body. Great for beginners, but , most of them allow for upping the amperage if you want to sweat more....
Once more, Congratulations on losing some weight so far. Don't give up, because, hunny, you have JUST BEGUN on your journey of a lifetime.
huggs
kim
recipes
http://forums.webmd.com/3/dieting-club-50-100-lbs-exchange/forum/2523
exercise
http://forums.webmd.com/3/dieting-club-50-100-lbs-exchange/forum/2753
Kim SW 243 CW 180.4 GW 135
If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous
The Habits that Live are the Ones We Feed.---fellow blogger
If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous
The Habits that Live are the Ones We Feed.---fellow blogger
Report This| Share this:Working past discouragementOMG so that first one posted, maybe it's fixed now, it wouldn't let me post ANY replies today, nor even start a discussion it just kept resetting to top of page..... <br />Ok , so, HI K12! Welcome<br />My advice to you right now, that you have hit your first major Plateau is , take down your measurements. Both rt and lft biceps, Bust across nipples, waist, lower tummy at widest spot, hips, Both rt and lft wrists, rt and lft thigh at widest point, rt and lft calf and rt and lft ankles. <br />Keep these lists and remeasure every month or so.; This will give you something to look at other than the numbers on the scale, especially when those buggers refuse to move(or even go up from time to time) because, even if you aren't getting the compliments like your sig other, you ARE losing weight AND inches.<br />So let me first say.... HEY! You LOOK GREAT!!! Have you been losing weight???? O.o<br />You are doing just fine, and plateaus happen. Your body is just taking some time to readjust to it's new improved look. The first 20 lbs or so, ALWAYS fall off easier than the rest. It's just a fact. Because it's mostly water weight on heavier ppl. Continue to watch your calories, but also watch sodium. Take it as low as you possibly can, because it WILL make you retain water weight.... also , take into consideration your mestrual cycle. If you tend to gain a few a couple weeks before and lose gradually during and after, then that could be some of the problem. <br />Remember, although you are trying to lose weight and get healthier as a couple, you are your own person whose body has it's own set responses to weightloss. You are doing this FOR YOU and YOU only. NOT for anyone else, nor for congratulatory comments from others. FOR YOUR HEALTH. <br />I'm reposting our tried and true recipes posting that we contribute to, you may like some of them, if you have some to share, please post.... also If you like the blog, plz save it to your discussions list so that you can easily go back and find it. <br />Same with this posting of our exercise videos to use. Some of us have crappy knees, arthritis, bad backs, or all of the above.... these videos are free and pretty easy on the body. Great for beginners, but , most of them allow for upping the amperage if you want to sweat more.... <br />Once more, Congratulations on losing some weight so far. Don't give up, because, hunny, you have JUST BEGUN on your journey of a lifetime.<br />huggs<br />kim<br /> <br />recipes<br /><a href="http://forums.webmd.com/3/dieting-club-50-100-lbs-exchange/forum/2523">http://forums.webmd.com/3/dieting-club-50-100-lbs-exchange/forum/2523</a> <br /> <br />exercise<br /><a href="http://forums.webmd.com/3/dieting-club-50-100-lbs-exchange/forum/2753">http://forums.webmd.com/3/dieting-club-50-100-lbs-exchange/forum/2753</a>
Jis4Judy replied to TotallyWiggedOut's response:
Hi Kim I am haveing some problems posting too
I think if you just use the reply the one that fades in and out it doesn;t work but if you go to the whole discussion and reply to last entry it works better so far that seems to be working
Hugs Judy:)
I think if you just use the reply the one that fades in and out it doesn;t work but if you go to the whole discussion and reply to last entry it works better so far that seems to be working
Hugs Judy:)
SW 247 CW 149ish maintaining
Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
life may not be the Party we expected but while we are here we may as well dance
Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
life may not be the Party we expected but while we are here we may as well dance
Report This| Share this:Working past discouragementHi Kim I am haveing some problems posting too <br />I think if you just use the reply the one that fades in and out it doesn;t work but if you go to the whole discussion and reply to last entry it works better so far that seems to be working<br />Hugs Judy:)
blondie454u responded:
Hello,
You've gotten some great advice already so I am going to say welcome aboard and don't give up. Remember jealousy is a wasted emotion!
You've gotten some great advice already so I am going to say welcome aboard and don't give up. Remember jealousy is a wasted emotion!
Amber CW 135 maintaining, SW 250. Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of a mental illness.
Report This| Share this:Working past discouragementHello,<br /><br />You've gotten some great advice already so I am going to say welcome aboard and don't give up. Remember jealousy is a wasted emotion!
Jis4Judy responded:
Hi K12
Having PCOS is probably makeing it harder to remove your weight and that maybe the reason it is so slow, Your partner has a different body so it is maybe a little easier for her . I had the same thing happen to me my only difference is my Hubby being a man burns calories faster than me , My hubby reached his goal weight in half the time and lost more weight than me BUT I eventually at my own speed did get to goal and have been maintaining for over 9 years he however is regaining so slow and steady is better for your body realizeing this is a life style change to healthier eating that never ends is the best advice I have
welcome aboard Hugs Judy:)
Having PCOS is probably makeing it harder to remove your weight and that maybe the reason it is so slow, Your partner has a different body so it is maybe a little easier for her . I had the same thing happen to me my only difference is my Hubby being a man burns calories faster than me , My hubby reached his goal weight in half the time and lost more weight than me BUT I eventually at my own speed did get to goal and have been maintaining for over 9 years he however is regaining so slow and steady is better for your body realizeing this is a life style change to healthier eating that never ends is the best advice I have
welcome aboard Hugs Judy:)
SW 247 CW 149ish maintaining
Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
life may not be the Party we expected but while we are here we may as well dance
Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
life may not be the Party we expected but while we are here we may as well dance
Report This| Share this:Working past discouragementHi K12<br /> Having PCOS is probably makeing it harder to remove your weight and that maybe the reason it is so slow, Your partner has a different body so it is maybe a little easier for her . I had the same thing happen to me my only difference is my Hubby being a man burns calories faster than me , My hubby reached his goal weight in half the time and lost more weight than me BUT I eventually at my own speed did get to goal and have been maintaining for over 9 years he however is regaining so slow and steady is better for your body realizeing this is a life style change to healthier eating that never ends is the best advice I have <br /> welcome aboard Hugs Judy:)
TotallyWiggedOut replied to Jis4Judy's response:
At this time I don't even HAVE the one that fades in and out with cursor movement..... and the "reply" button, doesn't work mostly anytime right now for me...... grrrrr
Kim SW 243 CW 180.4 GW 135
If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous
The Habits that Live are the Ones We Feed.---fellow blogger
If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous
The Habits that Live are the Ones We Feed.---fellow blogger
Report This| Share this:Working past discouragementAt this time I don't even HAVE the one that fades in and out with cursor movement..... and the "reply" button, doesn't work mostly anytime right now for me...... grrrrr
abnersmom responded:
Welcome, K12! Everyone has already given you good advice. I sometimes wonder about some of the regular posters that come here and then fade away - are they feeling the same frustration/discouragement that you do when others on this board might be losing a little more quickly than they?
My belief is that you feel what you feel and that's okay, but our bodies are all so different in every way that it only makes sense that we lose weight differently. Kim and Judy are so right - your PCOS and medications make a difference in your body chemistry, metabolism, etc. AND you do need to focus on the NSVs not just the numbers on the scale. It is a slow, arduous, frustrating process, but I can tell you that it is THE best thing that I have ever done for myself. Good luck to you and come here for support anytime.
My belief is that you feel what you feel and that's okay, but our bodies are all so different in every way that it only makes sense that we lose weight differently. Kim and Judy are so right - your PCOS and medications make a difference in your body chemistry, metabolism, etc. AND you do need to focus on the NSVs not just the numbers on the scale. It is a slow, arduous, frustrating process, but I can tell you that it is THE best thing that I have ever done for myself. Good luck to you and come here for support anytime.
Debbie SW 265 CW 151 GW 150 - To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable. Helen Keller
Report This| Share this:Working past discouragementWelcome, K12! Everyone has already given you good advice. I sometimes wonder about some of the regular posters that come here and then fade away - are they feeling the same frustration/discouragement that you do when others on this board might be losing a little more quickly than they? <br /><br />My belief is that you feel what you feel and that's okay, but our bodies are all so different in every way that it only makes sense that we lose weight differently. Kim and Judy are so right - your PCOS and medications make a difference in your body chemistry, metabolism, etc. AND you do need to focus on the NSVs not just the numbers on the scale. It is a slow, arduous, frustrating process, but I can tell you that it is THE best thing that I have ever done for myself. Good luck to you and come here for support anytime.
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