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Jaimieleemuniz posted:
Im an overweight 20 year old who is constantly picked on and harassed because of my weight. I have no family support or friend support. Basically I am on my own. Ive never had a boyfriend and Im still a virgin. Im sick and tired of being picked on and I just want to be beautiful. Im always an emotional wreck and im always crying. I guess You can call me an emotional eater. I just want to change but my motivation only lasts for a few days then Im back on my ass. I dont know how to stick to a diet and I need help. No one wants to help[ me. If some one is out there..... please........ Help me.
-Alex
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Molyal responded:
Hey Jaimie, I completely understand what you are going through, I've been there. You have to understand that self image is not just the physical part of you. It is also mental and emotional. To start, even though you are over weight, you have to learn to love yourself, including your current physical state. I am 350lbs. I'm just starting out with trying to do a healthier life style. But I'm not doing it because I think I'm ugly or other people think I'm fat. I'm doing it because there are things in life that I'm missing out on because I can't physically do them. But I still love myself the way I am. Don't get me wrong, when I look in the mirror, I still see fat rolls, but I also see luscious curves! Trust me, it doesn't matter how big you are, there is still a man out there who wants to tap that! What attracts men is self confidence, self love, and self respect. I've been obese, over weight, fat..... whatever you want to say, all my life. But when I learned that the key was to love and respect myself as I was while still aspiring to be the best me that I could, my entire life changed. One of the ways you love and respect yourself is by getting away from people who are negative and mistreat you. They do that cause they are miserable and want to bring you down with them. You know "Misery loves company". Those people think it makes them feel better, but it really doesn't. I personally have had to part with members of my family because they mistreat me. And I wont stand for it. I respect and love myself and know that I don't deserve their mistreatment. It saddens me, and I still love them and hope they will find happiness, but I'm not put on this earth to be a "whipping boy" for others. Anyhow......If you can, I would look into seeing a therapist or psychiatrist. It has helped me. And if you need a friend to talk to, I'm here. You can email me at molyalvey@gmail.com. I hope I have helped in some way.
 
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abnersmom responded:
Hi Jaimie/Alex, Molyal has given you some good advice. I read a book called "What Are You Hungry For?" It gave me some great insight into the mind/body/food connection. If you are always crying, it's possible that you are suffering from depression and seeing your medical doctor for meds and a therapist might be just the ticket to changing your life! These would be major steps to helping yourself get beyond this.

Please come back and tell us how you are doing, ask questions, etc., etc.
Debbie SW 265 CW 150 maintaining - You are imperfect, permanentlyand inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful. - Amy Bloom
 
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jean4u replied to Molyal's response:
I posted on Jamie's 2nd blog same thread. I am so glad to see your post Molyal. It is so important for us, who are in this struggle with weight, to understand that it is mental/emotional and when negative "voices" get into our heads that, that we have the power to not listen.

No one is perfect. Even those that look good on the outside have "issues".

To get my motivation and mind going positive, I love motivational quotesl Here are some of my favs:

I may not be there yet but I'm closer than I was yesterday.

We make our choices then our choices make us.

Make yourself stronger than your excuses.

You don't always get what you wish for, you get what you work for.

Life isn't about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself.

One of my fav fav's is sometimes you got to kick your own a$$! So true for me!!!

And the best of all: Think progress, not perfection. I think this one is so important be because it gives us permission to live in the real world and not be robots. The 80% on track and 20% human is good enough!

Well as you can see JAMIE. you woke some of up. We DO care and want you to succeed.

Let us know how you do.

Barb
 
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totallywiggedout responded:
Barb's right on target with the progress not perfection quote. Nobody is perfect and setting unrealistic goals is counterproducive.
If you make little changes, just little bitty ones, like drinking more water, putting your fork down after every bite. eating at the kitchen table instead of in front of the tv or computer or while reading and taking a short walk.... all of these things can help get you on the right path for your goals.
If you usually drive by and stop at a pop shop to get your pop and munchies, change your route and your routine. It's amazing how just getting something out of sight and breaking a routine, can change your desires for the usual unhealthy snack/drink choices.
If you are shopping for you own foods, don't buy the junk. If it's not in the house you will be way less tempted .
And remember this. True beauty isn't what you see in the mirror, but is within your heart.
When you go out, smile, be open to random conversation and perform random acts of kindness. It's amazing how just opening and holding a door for someone can lead to small snatches of conversation and exchanging niceties which will not only make the other person's day brighter, but your own. And you never know.... That guy you open the door for, or that looks confused as to which tie to buy, that you help, may be "the one" for you.
Stranger things have happened. Just be open to the possibilities and never give up on your desires.
huggs
kim
Kim SW 252 CW 183.2 GW 135

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

If you are going through Hell,keep going.-- Winston Churchill








 
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blondie454u responded:
I commented on the other post.
Amber CW 135 maintaining, SW 250. Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of a mental illness.
 
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Jaimieleemuniz replied to Molyal's response:
Thank you very much. Feedback in such kind and helpful words. I guess I still need to love myself first. I keep forgetting to love myself. I always look in the mirror and I hate what I see. But thats all going to change now because Im starting to eat a little less and Im going to the gym every other day for like an hour. While also sticking to a 1600 Calorie a day diet with lots of fluids.
 
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Jaimieleemuniz replied to abnersmom's response:
Tank you for posting. Seems like you might be on to something when you talked about seeing a doctor about depression. I feel like it might be the right move for me to make in order for me to have control in my life.
 
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Jaimieleemuniz replied to totallywiggedout's response:
Wow. True words coming from you that touched my heart. I will follow your advice and be more open and social. Loving myself is the key in all this, im just having a bit of trouble doing it right now because I dont like what I see. But yes, Unrealistic goals are what pushes me back and Ive realized that i need to throw away those unrealistic goals and start off fresh. Thank you =>

-Jaimie
 
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jean4u replied to Jaimieleemuniz's response:
Hi Jaimie, Good to see you here again. You sound much, much more positive in these recent posts.

Nice to see you going to the gym, hydrating and eating healthier. WTG!!!

Barb
 
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abnersmom replied to Jaimieleemuniz's response:
That's awesome, Jaimie! Keep up the good work. From my own experience, you WILL feel better both physically and emotionally with even small successes with eating nutritiously and exercise. Make small changes that you can live with so you don't feel overwhelmed. At first, I felt so lost without my comfort food. Took me a while to figure out what I needed to substitute for the food.
Debbie SW 265 CW 150 maintaining - You are imperfect, permanentlyand inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful. - Amy Bloom
 
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blondie454u replied to Jaimieleemuniz's response:
Great job!
Amber CW 135 maintaining, SW 250. Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of a mental illness.


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