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How do I get my husband to stop sabotaging my diet?
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Puglady posted:
Hi Everyone,
I am new here and I just started dieting (again) this week. I have a serious problem with my husband. He is diabetic but you'd never know it by his diet! He has candy stashed all over the house and he is always asking me to cook things that are very fattening. If I tell him I am going to eat something healthy and he doesn't want the same thing then he goes out and gets fast food, and not the healthy stuff, either. I have told him his diet is bad and that he should eat better but he doesn't listen. Now that I am dieting (again) it is really hard to see candy/cake/cookies all over the house. Any ideas on how to get through to him? It's one thing for him to ruin his own health, but I really need to lose weight and he is not helping me at all.

Tracey
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jis4judy responded:
welcome tracy

2 things get a big insurance policy on your husband so you can be a rich widow thats what I said to my hubby when he was overeating I accually said "eat my darling eat buy a big ins policy and make me a rich widow " he started paying closer attention to his health.

then ignore his eating habits and change yours to healthier foods and look at those things that seem to tempt you as the poison they really are ..
You and he do not have to eat the same , I do the cooking and I give my hubby extras with his meal he is condiment man
and everything is turned into a sandwich no matter what it is ..
I rarely eat bread he is a bread person ..
that is a mistake we ladies make thinking we should eat like the man in our lives and we are smaller by nature and burn less calories basicaly than men do we cannot possabley eat like them and not gain weight...
My Hubby accually handed me a candy tonight and I said no thanks I am makeing a healthy snack later

Just decide to be healthy and do it you can get help from us on this board,

Hugs Judy:)
SW 247 CW 149ish maintaining

Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
life may not be the Party we expected but while we are here we may as well dance

 
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totallywiggedout responded:
Hi Tracey, welcome!
I agree with Judy. You can't MAKE him eat better. It's his choice. He's an adult and if he wants to live dangerously, there's nothing really you can do.
As for his "snacks", get a small cabinet just for his stuff. Put a lock on it and give him the key. Tell him, if you find any of his unhealthy stuff outside of the cabinet when he's not actively eating it, it gets tossed. Simple as that.
And... If he absolutely won't share your healthy meals as you prepare them and HAS to go out to eat fast food... He eats it THERE , at the take out joint or in the car. NOT in the house.
Put your foot down. His choices should not affect yours.
True, this journey is your choice, but he could and should be considerate toward you.
kim
Kim SW 252 CW 181.6 GW 135

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

If you are going through Hell,keep going.-- Winston Churchill








 
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jean4u responded:
Tracey, There will always be someone or something to take us off our plan, but when it lives with you, that is even worse. I know because my DH is alot like yours. I have had to learn to live with this. He (my DH) won't change and I can't eat like he does. So for the most part I eat healthy and try to ignore his foods.

Coming here for support really helps, too.

Good luck and let us know how you do.

Barb
 
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blondie454u responded:
I have been there and done that. I just simply put my foot down. I cooked what I wanted and he had to cook what he wanted or he didn't eat. We are divorce now because of other issues and I am remarried to a man who doesn't do such things. He is actually has joined me in my journey and has lost 50lbs since last May. You need to take the others suggestions especially the cabinet one and make him realize your serious. He may eventually come around. Just because your married doesn't make you the same person. You each are individuals. Like Judy says it's poison. It's the same as drinking or smoking over a period of time. It will all kill you eventually. Food is the same as bad drugs. Both addictive and deadly. This is my mindset because I want to be here with my family as long as I can. I want to happy and healthy. I hope things workout. Keep us posted.
Amber CW 135 maintaining, SW 250. Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of a mental illness.
 
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pallzy responded:
I am in the same situation - both the husband and I have a pug. I know - not the point. Anyway - it is very difficult to make the healthier choices when all the triggers are still there. I attempted to get my husband to understand. For the most part, he keeps his junk food in one cupboard and I keep out. But there are still things - even being in maintenance for over two years now - that he will bring into the house and think I should just ignore.

While I would love to say that his choices to be unhealthy don't get to affect my choices to eat a healthy diet - and that I should be able to tell him that his crap isn't allowed in the house. I never thought that was fair to him. I am the one who changed. And I don't feel like I can push my changes onto him. While it would be nice if he would join the healthy party - I can't make him.

Do what you need to do for you. Sounds easy - but it won't be. You will have to find ways, whether it's looking at it as poison, or "out-of-sight out-of-mind" or whatever, that works for you to stay away from the foods you know you should avoid.
5'11 SW 275/GW 160/CW 159
 
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jean4u replied to pallzy's response:
Sheryl

I am sooo glad you entered this topic/Because it is especially hard when you live with the culprit, I really think that brings aboiut "special" coping skills.

Barb
 
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bhamil999 replied to jean4u's response:
my husband does not sabotage me but I have a hard time with the fact that he doesn't want to get on the healthy train with me. He is a couch potato through and through and doesn't want to change. he thinks that because he "works" physically all day he doesn't need to exercise. He sufferes greatly from aches and pains. I get that he has arthritis, so do I, I still manage to get up and get moving. He just sits and watches TV. What to do, What to do!!!!!!!!
 
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blondie454u replied to bhamil999's response:
Just keep doing what you're doing. You can't control him and vice versa.
Amber CW 135 maintaining, SW 250. Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of a mental illness.
 
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rohvannyn responded:
I feel for you. If you do need to talk to him about it, you can mention that you want to have a long happy life with him and that's partly why you want to lose weight. If you want to talk about his eating habits, you can express your concern for his health. It's not about taking things from either of you, it's about giving you a better life. By the way, as you undoubtedly know, if he is diabetic, it WILL ruin his health if he continues eating junk. There are eventualities of everything from blindness to impotence if he does that.

A former boss of mine kept "cheating" on his diabetes, paying lip service to eating well and taking his medications but there was no real lifestyle change. He was a serious grump every time his blood sugar was off, and he lost a leg. That was totally preventable.

So if you have to talk to your husband about it, focus on the love. Even if he continues to keep killing himself, if he loves you it won't hurt him to at least keep the poison away from you.
Roh SW 220ish and fluffy CW 178.0 GW 140ish and buff

'Your focus determines your reality.' -QGJ

'Try not. Only do.' --Y


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