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Tough Love
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totallywiggedout posted:
In trying to help others, sometimes, I'm a bit brusque. I don't mean to be, but sometimes it comes out that way. It's easy to take the high road, when you're on top, you know what I mean?
This whole I've been there, so let me try to help you get at least to MY point of progress, sometimes makes me sound obnoxious in the very least and a villainous bitch perhaps at worst.
I don't mean for this to be like that. I really don't. But I do know that as a persistent, lifelong, habitual excuse maker about not sticking with diets, that it doesn't take much to make you fall flat on your face , and if you can't muster enough confidence to get back up, only then can it be considered a failure. Beyond that, it's just a learning experience.
So GET BACK UP!
I have felt bad for maybe chasing BB and some others away, by using my "tough Love" style of advice..... But, if you guys are still out there, it's only because I DO care about how you are doing with your journeys. I can't stand that excuses are standing in your way of just getting back up when you fall. Please, don't let that happen. It really IS your life on the line.
I found this link this morning.... please read if you , too, are an excuse maker. It's geared toward business , but it hits home PERSONALLY too. Let it hit home for you.http://gregprovenzano.com/2012/10/26/acn-greg-provenzano-are-you-making-excuses-or-progress/

hugs
k
Kim SW 252 CW 180.3 GW 135

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

If you are going through Hell,keep going.-- Winston Churchill








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abnersmom responded:
Kim, I think you just say what some of us are already thinking. Amber usually says it in a different way, "just do it." I have used excuses about exercising since starting this journey nearly 2 years ago. I think we all do this, even when we KNOW they are excuses and we can do better.

i don't believe that you will chase anyone off that is truly serious about becoming a healthier person and saving their own life by changing how they eat. While we all do this journey a little differently, and in a time frame that works for ourselves, I think it's important to really look at what exactly is holding one's self back from reaching the goal that one supposedly so desperately wants to reach. That motivation for self-discipline is something no one can do for you. We can and do support one another and offer what advice we can, but, inevitably, it is up to the motivation of each of us to "just do it."
Debbie SW 265 CW 150 maintaining - Don't exchange what you want MOST for what you want at the moment.
 
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jis4judy replied to abnersmom's response:
Yep I love the just do it approach myself Don;t worry about how you are percieved Kim It is a proccess that most people have to go through to arrive at the place where they can really focus on getting healthy. first they have to be uncomfortable enough where they are so they can reach for another way to live... I know my taste buds have changed over time in the begining I tried green tea and hated it but after a while I tried it again and it was good .. also thing I used to like that were favorates were too sweet enought gage me when I tried just a bite . so my taste buds did change ..
People like BB Jayne are very hesitant to make real changes even reluctant to try new vegies, that makes it harder to help them .
I know from experience that wallowing in self pity does me no good been there done that when I had the diagnosis for my etes I was very depressed and my solution took 3 years of research before I did something about it ...
Hugs Judy:)
SW 247 CW 149ish maintaining

Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
life may not be the Party we expected but while we are here we may as well dance

 
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abnersmom replied to jis4judy's response:
You're so right, Judy. In my past weight loss efforts, I certainly was not ready to make the commitment to change.
Debbie SW 265 CW 150 maintaining - Don't exchange what you want MOST for what you want at the moment.
 
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tnmist replied to abnersmom's response:
Sometimes I need a kick in the pants. Does it feel good? No, but self-pity and being tired all the time doesn't feel good either. I'm not quite past the self-pity yet, and I don't mind the in-your-face approach sometimes. You just be you, Kim. I know it's sometimes hard to read the right connotation meant through writing, so miscommunication happens, but in the short time I've been here I haven't read anything outright mean.

Being overweight comes with a lot of emotional baggage sometimes and poor coping skills. Probably most families are dysfunctional to a degree - some way more than others - and being real with each other here on this board, I believe, helps us all live a more authentic life. Keep things real, Kim. Don't change.

Hugs,
Misty
Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein
 
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totallywiggedout replied to tnmist's response:
Thanks Misty,
Sometimes we ALL need a kick in the pants. I come here for mine because my family doesn't wanna hurt my feelings.... you guys care enough to tell me what needs to be said and DONE.
I can't weedle and charm and whine my way out of it to you guys(maybe even weaken your resolve that I do the right thing) because we are not face to face, which really kinda helps me to hold myself accountable.
It's that simple.
huggs
k
Kim SW 252 CW 180.3 GW 135

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

If you are going through Hell,keep going.-- Winston Churchill








 
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kalimiller replied to totallywiggedout's response:
Kim, did you ever hear back with a decision for your case?
-Kali

Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right.
-Henry Ford
 
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totallywiggedout replied to kalimiller's response:
Nothing yet, Kali.
Still waiting patiently... they said it could take up to 60 days, that was on Jan 25, so hopefully soon.
k
Kim SW 252 CW 180.3 GW 135

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

If you are going through Hell,keep going.-- Winston Churchill








 
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mefirstforever responded:
Dear Kim!

I never found anything you said or mentioned that was offensive. If it hurts, it's because we haven't taken care of what is needed to make the changes.
We are all humans trying to figure it out. We are all at different level of clarity.
Never change your way of writing.

Thanks for the "excuses" link.

Huggs
Helene
Helene GW 140 CW 201 SW 224
Every day is a gift do your best, be kind especially to yourself and smile.
 
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blondie454u responded:
Kim,

I don't think you're being offensive. If you didn't care you wouldn't be here. Being part of this board is about caring for others. We have to care in order to help. We can't help someone until they are willing to help themselves. No matter your illness or weakness you can still find way to accomplish goals. There are people who can't walk and in wheel chairs but they manage to be fit and healthy. I am sure there are a lot of others with all kinds of issues and they manage. I know a trainer that has fibromyalgi and she really fit. She has good muscle tone and workouts all the time. This helps her with her condition so she isn't in as much pain. She also probably in her early 60's and she has a better body than I do because she has been doing it for a long time. So again there are no excuses, only the ones you create for yourself.
Amber CW 135 maintaining, SW 250. Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of a mental illness.
 
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totallywiggedout replied to blondie454u's response:
Excuses are like brick walls... People keep hitting their heads trying to go through them, without once looking up to see that they can get OVER them.
huggs
k
Kim SW 252 CW 180.3 GW 135

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

If you are going through Hell,keep going.-- Winston Churchill








 
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mefirstforever replied to totallywiggedout's response:
Helene GW 140 CW 201 SW 224
Every day is a gift do your best, be kind especially to yourself and smile.
 
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abnersmom replied to mefirstforever's response:
Love that one, Helene!!
Debbie SW 265 CW 150 maintaining - Don't exchange what you want MOST for what you want at the moment.
 
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totallywiggedout replied to mefirstforever's response:
me too, this was funny, Helene. But so real.
huggs
k
Kim SW 252 CW 180.3 GW 135

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

If you are going through Hell,keep going.-- Winston Churchill








 
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jean4u replied to mefirstforever's response:
Need to cancel my passport to ALL those places, I've been to all to put off what I should be doing!

Great one.

Barb


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