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    tamivicious posted:
    I'm 35 and married. My husband hates being skinny as much as I hate being fat. He eats sweets every single night (or he is pissed) before bed, sitting in bed watching tv. For 2 years I have off and on turned down enjoying sweets with him telling him that's what makes me fat... recently he has been buying extra sweets on his way home from work to get milk or diapers etc. I have been feeling that he wants me to stay fat. Tonight he tossed me a chocolate bunny which I politely tossed back. After 3 times, he opened his and put it in my face. I asked why he was doing this and even said that I thought he was trying to keep me fat. It's so hard to lose weight when you live like this.
    jis4judy responded:
    Hi Tami
    My Hubby is the same way he temps me with all kinds of sweets too .. sometimes it is hard to say no but 90% of the time I do say no because sugar in those sweets is cause of so many problems in the body ... I try to look at those things as poison ...It is hard but changeing your tase buds can happen .
    I think for my situation we used to eat large bowls of icecream together I think sometimes we get our emotions and people connnections mixed up in food .. My hubby has been trying to sabotage me for a long time ..That ice cream was something we enjoyed together and I think he misses it
    not for the ice cream but for the closeness we had over it ..
    so I try to have close moments without food attached hard to do because I am the cook around here .
    Have a heart to heart with him about how weak you are around sweets and see if he could tone it down some so you could not get skinny but improve your health so you both can be together a long time .
    My hubby now hides his sweets around the houseLOl
    excess sugar does cause inflamation in the body so it is important to get that under control..
    Post on here everytime you resist the sweets and we can celebrate with you
    Hugs Judy:)
    SW 247 CW 149ish maintaining

    Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
    life may not be the Party we expected but while we are here we may as well dance

    blondie454u responded:
    Welcome! Judy gave some great advice because trust me you don't want my advice. I am more stern and mean about things. You might not have a good relationship after taking my advice. Remember where this will there is way. This board is great for tips and ideas so keep coming back.
    Amber CW 135 maintaining, SW 250. Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of a mental illness.
    rohvannyn replied to jis4judy's response:
    Maybe be honest? Say something like "I know you like these things, and you want to share them with me, but sweets hurt me. They cause me to be unhealthy. They make my body feel worse. Can you help me by not offering them to me?" Let him feel like the big man by helping you.

    'Your focus determines your reality.' -QGJ

    'Try not. Only do.' --Y
    mefirstforever responded:

    Hi Tami,

    I must divide this in to two subjects.
    First your husband dependence of sugar, My husband was the same he thought that it gave him energy as he would fall asleep al the time especially after eating. Little did we know that this was the first sign of diabetics. The second sign is grumpiness. Everything would bother him and he would get mad at every thing and anything. At the end he almost got blind from it. And decided to see a Dr. His sugar level in the blood was 22 normal is 5-6. After stopping all sugar and loosing weight from 155 to 138 he is Asian so small built. He is a joy to live with I became again the man I had meet many years ago. He is smiling all the time.

    Now the second, Amber was reluctant to say it but I will. Abuse is Abuse and no woman should experience it live it or accept it.

    Like Judy said you have to find a way to tell him that this behaviour is unacceptable from anyone especially someone that loves you.

    As a fellow woman I hug you and hope that this is a very unusual way of acting with you otherwise you have to think had on your relationship.
    Helene GW 140 CW 201 SW 224
    Every day is a gift do your best, be kind especially to yourself and smile.
    totallywiggedout responded:
    Hi Tami, Welcome!
    Like Amber, I tend to be a little too "honest" sometimes with my replys. So bearing that in mind, I'm going to try to tiptoe to the very edge of the abyss and ...
    It sounds to me like you have a few more "issues" than just diet issues.
    That said, if it gets out of hand you ALWAYS have options, and now may not be a bad time to explore some of them.
    As for the late night , bed eating. You are right, it's holding you back from a healthier you.
    Try NOT to use your bed for anything other than sex or sleep. True sleep, not just reading or whatever too. I'm sure you have a tv somewhere else in the house/apt. If your hubby wants close time, then he can sit in the LR with you. If he wants his sweet snacks, fine, let HIM go to bed with THEM.
    You on the other hand, can have a big bowl of air popped popcorn with some cinnamon , a packet of stevia and some raisins and a few nuts mixed in. Trust me. This is so good you won't miss the chocolate or other sweets. Even if you sit in bed with him, do this. I guarantee he'll soon be dipping into YOUR healthier munchy bowl "just to try" it.
    Stand up for yourself. You only have ONE you and if push comes to shove..... shove. Fight for your own health and let him fend for himself.
    Kim SW 252 CW 180.3 GW 135

    If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

    If you are going through Hell,keep going.-- Winston Churchill

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