Dieting Club: 50 - 100 Lbs Community

< ramble >

For a while I was doing pretty well there, then winter hit and so did the tater based dishes and the richer foods. I did fairly well considering but still gained some. Then I had problems with despair and depression due to a number of factors. One thing I've noticed is now that I'm feeling better, I'm inclined to eat better. I'm not craving the starches as badly and I'm back to craving fruit and vegetables (eaten very cautiously at the moment) a little more than I crave junk.

I can tell you, and most of you know, it's hard to move a lot when you are depressed. It's hard enough just to do the stuff you are supposed to. Sure, making yourself move would help you feel better, but how to summon the will to do that? Luckily I've found some hope. My depression is mostly situational, and for a time I didn't feel like I had any way out of this life I currently live. I couldn't see any way out from under the same job, the same small apartment, the same aging car, the same arguments, and no hope for any positive change in the stagnant economy.

Then the universe hit me over the head with the Clue Bat. Art. It's only what I've been doing for more than thirty years, ever since I was a little kid. I haven't always been good at it but it's been a constant in my life. Trials and troubles in the past several years have been leading me away from my art (painting and drawing, mostly, but some sculpture) and when I have done art, I haven't been pushing the envelope. But it's what I DO. It's what I'm good at. It's what I AM, in a certain way.

I finally feel healed enough emotionally to be able to not only do art again, but improve on it, work on it, try things I haven't tried, get outside the safe zone. I have a partner who is supportive, time to do it in, a job to support me and space do it in. I don't have much money for materials but I'm good at doing art on the cheap! Running around looking at galleries, art stores, etc, is giving my spouse much needed exercise. And it's making feel better so I have more desire to move around and reach out to others and eat better.

Getting back to art, deciding to actually start improving like I've been promising myself for yours I'd do, is like switching on a light switch. Suddenly, I fit in the world. I have a place. I'm not rootless. I suddenly feel like I matter. Even if my art isn't the best, it's sure not the worst either. My goal is to eventually make a little incidental income from it and get better known. This, I think, will help me see why it's imortant to work harder on my journey toward physical health.

< /ramble >