Skip to content


    Exciting News for WebMD Members!

    We've been busy behind the scenes building new message boards for you. You'll have new and easier ways to find messages, connect with others, and share your stories.

    And, this will all be available on your smartphone or other mobile device!

    What Do You Need to Do?

    The message board you're used to will be closing in the coming weeks. While many of your boards will be making the move to our new home, your posts will not. Want to keep a discussion going? Save posts you want to continue (this includes your member profile story), so that you can re-post them in the new message boards.

    Keep an eye here and on your email inbox, we'll be back in touch soon to give you all the information you need!

    Yours in health,
    WebMD Message Boards Management

    Interesting article
    abnersmom posted:
    Hi all, I just read this article and found it fascinating in light of some of our recent discussions here especially.

    One of my impressions from the article is that the author knowingly or unknowingly offers an explanation why surgery doesn't always stick. Of course, there is plenty of research out there about weight loss in general not sticking, but I truly believe the slow, old-fashioned, soul-searching way is the only way it works. I think most of us on this journey would say we have learned much about ourselves on our journeys that will help us succeed despite the statistics. What do you guys think? What are your impressions of her thoughts?
    Debbie SW 265 CW 150 maintaining - Don't exchange what you want MOST for what you want at the moment.
    mog1026 responded:
    Hmm. I think she was lucky not to have health problems at her highest weight and so she can't appreciate the bullet she may have dodged by getting the weight off while she is young. The only reason to get the surgery is health. You have to get that kind of weight off the best way you can. It's not a panacea for any other problems in your life. But if you don't get it off you'll have all the other problems and the weight issue. It's too much to carry.
    Kathy SW 235.1 CW 214.6 GW 165
    jis4judy responded:
    Well Debbie this was a strange article she self confesses she was expecting perfection from weight loss although perfection is a lofty goal it is unattainable...
    and of course Kathy is right she was very lucky not to have health problems .. she must feel somewhat better joints at least. I do know sometimes when the weight comes off fast it is a shock to see yourself in the mirror..
    we all have some form of adjusting to the new body But losing 180 pounds she didn't mention skin surgery that must have happened...
    weight loss surgery is harder I think because of the expectations and the way it is offered..
    I love my body and my life is better because I removed weight
    I didn't get to size zero don't want to go there either .
    It surely sounds like she was disappointed in her life not being perfect and that being thin would make everything else fall into a bliss full existence . life isn't like that
    Hugs Judy:)
    SW 247 CW 150ish maintaining

    Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
    life may not be the Party we expected but while we are here we may as well dance

    jean4u responded:
    Debbie, Thanks for sharing that article. My SIL weighed over 300 lbs.. I never said anyhing about her size. I just looked at her kindness and quirky personality and enjoyed those traits. I think people like that author percieve that EVERYONE is in judgment mode. Like she said peeople looking at her in horror when she goes down an airplane isle.....maybe just maybe the person who appears shocked, is remembering that she/he forgot to pack important medication (something totally not related to the person in the isle). I think "some" just some of her sensitivity is self related, sort of like my generation of seniors, who will say "I didn't get waited on fast enough because of age discrimination", sometimes that has nothing to do with what is going on.

    I'm just saying NOT everyone is judgmental about size or what you think It is.

    I know that is not the point. The point IS wherever you go there you are and if you don't get a positive self acceptance, you will still have self esteem issues that weightloss won't fix.

    That is why we got to get it in our heads that the important factor is HEALTH. Weightloss is not going to bring us more money (unless you win "Biggest Loser" LOL), a younger age, drop dead beauty, a movie contract; I can go on and on, even a better relationship. Actually I can see where your relationship can actually change and your partner can feel threatened by your change.

    We have to shift from extrinisic thinking to intrinsic reasoing WHY it is a good thing to lose and keep the weight off, or we will not be content with our lives and it will be difficult to maintain the weighloss.

    Not to say we can't enjoy the external changes, especially in the beginning, but longterm it is the internal changes to will keep us on our journeys.


    P.S. Thanks Debbie for making my head hurt (can you smell th smoke)!
    abnersmom replied to jean4u's response:
    LOL! Barb, so sorry to hurt your brain! I agree with what you say, but I CAN say that I was treated differently by strangers when I weighed 265 than I am treated now. Subtle things, some of it was probably me being self conscious, but some of it was real.

    Changing the subject, I forgot with all the Abner stuff last week to tell you all about my bloodwork results. Everything was good. Total cholesterol 219, HDL 72 and LDL 224 (this is from memory I have it written down at home). I had them check my iron just in case and it was good too. Have to get cholesterol checked again in 4 months, but still no meds because I have improved the numbers so much!!! Hurray!
    Debbie SW 265 CW 150 maintaining - Don't exchange what you want MOST for what you want at the moment.
    jis4judy replied to abnersmom's response:
    Debbie did you have a typo on your LDL cholesterol
    I am pretty sure it ca't be higher that your total number
    Your HDL is awesome what was your triglyserides?
    Hugs Judy:)
    SW 247 CW 150ish maintaining

    Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
    life may not be the Party we expected but while we are here we may as well dance

    abnersmom replied to jis4judy's response:
    Judy, I'll check the numbers when I get home. My triglycerides are always good, but don't have the number here. The main problem is my LDL. I know it is still higher than my doc wants it to be. Will post the actual numbers when I can.
    Debbie SW 265 CW 150 maintaining - Don't exchange what you want MOST for what you want at the moment.
    rachael2011 replied to jean4u's response:
    Really well put, Barb.

    My first reaction to the article was WHY did the psychologist (or Dr.) clear her for the surgery when she clearly wasn't ready for it. She admits she didn't follow advice like eating right and exercising and still lost weight. Then again, we don't know what she said during her counseling session prior to the surgery.

    My second thought was, this could be me. Just as overweight. No health problems except my knees yet. What am I expecting from losing that much weight? My mom who was also really overweight and lost it with thyroid medication used to say that you can be "crazy as a loon and as long as you are skinny people will like you and treat you differently." She really believed that. My experience has been different. Mostly, people have been really decent (to my face anyway) about my weight. When I ask for a table instead of a booth at a restaurant, the waitress rather expects it. No biggie.

    But, my romantic relationships have been devoid of a lot of the physical aspects (not all but a lot). Flirtation to me is almost foreign. I am more of a buddy, a mom or a really good friend. Not a bad place to be but I worry about increased attention that way, from losing this weight. If it happens, how the heck will I handle it? I have been this heavy for a really long time. That is the only real social change that I expect to happen.

    On the health end, if I don't have more energy and are more active, if I don't move with more confidence and ease, and if I don't feel more in control of my eating rather than it controlling me, then I will be sorely disappointed.

    I know this was personal, but it felt good to share it and get that worry off my chest. Thanks.
    Rachael...under construction.

    SW 325 CW 319 Short term goal-299 Goal weight- Unsure
    jis4judy replied to rachael2011's response:
    Rachael I always had nice people around me that treated me well even when I was obese the only person that made me feel bad was my big sister she said you look pregnant to me and was not very nice,,, after I removed the weight she was my biggest cheerleader ,,,
    about flirtations I was talking to a man in Costco I was with my daughter and she said that man was hitting on you Mom I thought he was just being nice ,,, so I wouldn't know a flirt if it hit me over the head LOL
    Hugs Judy:)
    SW 247 CW 150ish maintaining

    Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
    life may not be the Party we expected but while we are here we may as well dance

    blondie454u replied to jis4judy's response:
    Interesting article but she did it all for wrong reasons it seems. It's not just about being beautiful but loving life. If you're over weight and can't get around then it's hard to enjoy a lot of things. Like everyone else said she thought her life would be perfect. Nobody's life is perfect no matter if you rich, poor, skinny, or fat. It's all a state mind. You're life may not be perfect but that doesn't mean it isn't either. It's all in perception.
    Amber CW 135 maintaining, SW 250. Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of a mental illness.
    abnersmom replied to blondie454u's response:
    You're so right, Amber. It all boils down to striving for happiness and healthiness.
    Debbie SW 265 CW 150 maintaining - Don't exchange what you want MOST for what you want at the moment.
    abnersmom replied to jis4judy's response:
    Here are the real numbers, Judy.
    Triglycerides - 86
    Total cholesterol - 219
    HDL - 72
    LDL - 130

    A year ago:
    Total 234
    HDL 54
    LDL 155
    Triglycerides 125

    My plan is for the numbers to be even more improved next year!
    Debbie SW 265 CW 150 maintaining - Don't exchange what you want MOST for what you want at the moment.
    jean4u replied to abnersmom's response:
    Debbie, GREAT on the NO meds and improvement on the #'s. Sorry about the past discrimination on the weight. Wish people didn't do that but some are ignorant and do just that. I think another feature of this board is raising our sensitivity to treatment of others.

    jean4u replied to rachael2011's response:
    Thanks Rachael. I happened to see the recent winner of the TV show "The Biggest Loser" (lost 121 lbs.). She told about being in NY City and a man chased her down the street with and handed her his business card and said to call him to got out. The TV interviewer asked her about her past dating life and she said she did not go out in high school and this "man chasing her" was a new experience, too. So men chasing her on the street is new to her (would be to me too! LOL). Anyway, things do change when the exerior changes, too. Especially for the younger gals and guys. I heard about one of my friend's daughter's husband having stomach surgery and with the weightloss also came a new personality.

    Thanks for sharing the detail. Talking and sharing does help our journeys.

    jean4u replied to jis4judy's response:
    Judy, openly flirting at Costco! A likely story, "I didn't know it!"


    P.S. Innocent until proven guilty, I always say.

    Spotlight: Member Stories

    My weight problems pretty much started at birth. My mother tried to breastfeed me even though she had a very negative attitude towards it. This was at...More

    Helpful Tips

    Getting the most out of oatmeal
    As an oatmeal fan, I was surprised to find that instant oatmeal didn't stick with me the way rolled oats did. When I switched back to ... More
    Was this Helpful?
    3 of 3 found this helpful

    Related Drug Reviews

    • Drug Name User Reviews

    Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

    FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.