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j9celeste posted:
Hello everybody

I need to be honest and keep myself accountable.

After 5 1/2 years of sobriety I drank at the beginning of July. This was the beginning of two months of eating and weight gain. I am getting healthier mentally ie: not wanting to cut, bi polar mood swings under control, but physically have gone the opposite direction.

In May I was down to 252 from 286. I am now at 270. I know why...I'm binging instead of drinking. I'm trying to do it alone. I am not being honest. I am not being accountable.

What happened to my determination to post here daily? What happened to my determination period?

I have been reading posts here but too ashamed to post myself.

xoxo
Janine
The most exciting, challenging, significant relationship you have is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone who loves the you that YOU love, that's fabulous 286-1/6/ 13-CW 260 GW 165
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mog1026 responded:
I'm so glad to see you here again Janine. So you've made some mistakes. But you've also accomplished a lot. You've cleaned out your house and moved which is high on the life stress chart. You've had what looks like a wonderful time with your sister and done a lot of laughing. I want to BAN SHAME from this community! We all have done dumb things that have brought us here together. We are NOT judging each other. We have all tried to do this ALONE and it hasn't worked. At 270 you have lost 16 pounds. Hallelujah! You've done it once and you know you can do it again, and again, and again when you're ready. It looks like the fire in your tummy is starting to flare up again, so come here and let us give you the support you need and we all need.
Kathy SW 235.1 CW 202.6 GW 165

Greedily she ingorg'd without restraint,
And knew not eating Death
Milton, Paradise Lost
 
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jis4judy responded:
Janine we have all had relapses and it appears that you are fighting 2 addictions ... the boose and the excess food
. I can tell you I started my plan several times before it stuck ...I call all my failures as experiments that didn't work .
I was too interested in removing the weight and tried starving myself that made me gain more weight .
the time it worked was putting the nutrition part first eating as healthy as possible to help my body heal itself the weight coming off was a delightful surprise . So maybe a change of focus could help ...once you get the healthy habit going then work on portion control ..
Hugs Judy
SW 247 CW 150ish maintaining

Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
life may not be the Party we expected but while we are here we may as well dance

 
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rohvannyn responded:
Welcome back, Janine! I know it can be hard having a setback. I totally agree with banning shame... it's just countrproductive. We think shame helps us learn not to do bad things, but it can just as easily pull us back down so we do them even more. I wish you the best, may your resolve renew even more strongly.
Roh

'Your focus determines your reality.' -QGJ

'Try not. Only do.' --Y
 
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rachael2011 responded:
Janine- Just wanted to add that I am here for you too. I wish I had some good advice but you know I am going through it too w the binging. Am glad you are more mentally healthy (it's a huge step) and aren't drinking. And that you lost the 16lbs. You have made some important steps on your health journey.
Rachael...under construction.

SW 325 CW 281.6 Short term goal-275 Goal weight- unsure
 
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totallywiggedout responded:
Janine, please don't ever be ashamed to post anything on here that may help you. My God, if you can't let us try to help you... US, Janine! We are always here to listen, or read, and to try to help you through the rough patches.
I've turned into a nightowl, Kathy is usually up late, as is Laura... someone will be here to reply to any SOS call you put out. Just let us BE there for you.
Repounding isn't the end of the world. The thing is, what made you start to drink again? is it your knees or what? Please don't cut yourself. Please, don't do that. You are HERE. You are loved and cared about. You don't need to feel the "sting" of being alive by cutting. You don't need to bleed to show that you BREATHE.
What types of exercise can you do now? Anything? Can it be done OUTSIDE? because it helps to get fresh air and sunshine. REAL sunshine , not stuff that comes from lamps. Get out there and LIVE Janine. Please. I care about what happens to you and I wish with all my heart that you could feel better.

Just take it slowly. One day at a time. a little different , a little more upbeat every day.
Smile more, think happy thoughts, chat with strangers just to "connect" with others. HUG anybody that doesn't look like they'll bite you.
Be a part of the human race. Rejoin your journey and walk with us.

huggs
k
Kim SW 252 CW 179 GW 135

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

Stupid Is as Stupid Does---Forrest's Mom








 
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ladylavender responded:
((((((((((Janine))))))))))
Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein

-Abby
 
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totallywiggedout replied to ladylavender's response:
ABBY????!!!!


where you been ladykins?

huggs
k
Kim SW 252 CW 179 GW 135

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

Stupid Is as Stupid Does---Forrest's Mom








 
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abnersmom responded:
Hi Janine,

I daresay that none of us would be here if we did not have addictive personalities. Glad you posted and I agree with everyone else, don't beat yourself up. We get to start over every minute of every day. Thank heavens for that!
Debbie SW 265 CW 150 maintaining - You only live once, so live right. Healthy. Fit. Be active.
 
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blondie454u responded:
Janine,

Glad you put it out there. Don't be ashamed. This is why we are all here! We struggle and we need help. No human being is perfect. We don't expect you to be perfect. You're gonna fail but this time you have team that is going to pick you up and watch you succeed.
Amber CW 135-139 maintaining, SW 250. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1Cor. 13:7
 
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ladylavender replied to totallywiggedout's response:
Hey there...This was 2 weeks ago, Kim. I'm a little slow in responding. Just not up to talking these days.

Everyone, take care. This is a great board.
Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein

-Abby
 
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parakeet210 replied to ladylavender's response:
Janine,
Hi I've seen you here. I have the same kind of addictions you have and it's not easy at all!!! Do you also have a 12 step program and a sponsor? I'm not doing that anymore cuz I'm never good enough for the people I see in the meetings. One area I go to is seemingly non judgemental. Which is a comfort. I got in with the popular alkies and then when I relapsed they wanted my blood which I could not give.
My t said to me just do what is effective for me. so that's what i'm trying to do. This is an effective group of people. I gain great strength from that in my daily workings.
I would think that might be true for you.
I'm goin to start a new thread for all of us here of what I'm finding. We all think different we all are different! It's ok. What can you do to self soothe instead of sh and alcohol?
Do you have your hp in place.

God speed. Keep on truckin'....... oldie but goodie
This moment is your life, choose to live it. Grab all the gusto you can!!!

tweety 'keet'

SW 254.2 GW 170
 
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totallywiggedout responded:
Janine?? Where are you , hon? It's been two weeks again and it's time to come out of the woodwork and say, "hi". We care about your wellbeing and hope that everything is going ok, or at least better.
Do not be ashamed about lapses, in anything, you are only human and you can only do what you can do and you simply must let the rest "go".
Touch base with us soon.

tender huggs
k
Kim SW 252 CW 179 GW 135

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

Stupid Is as Stupid Does---Forrest's Mom








 
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shelsangel responded:
Hey Janine where are you??? We are all praying for you Please come back. JUST FOR YOU



NOW COME ON YOU HAVE TO SMILE AT THIS ONE... Just a little???? HUGGS hope you come back and feel better. Like everyone says "We have all been there at one time or another." Your support GALS are waiting for YOU!!! HUGGS Jean
Everything happens for a reason. HUGGS, Jean
SW 301.2 CW 283.0 GW 165 could change after I reach it :-)
 
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totallywiggedout replied to shelsangel's response:
Janine, it's been a few more days and still, nothing from the peanut gallery.... One more time for the old gipper.... HI Janine!!!! How are you, darling?
You have to know we aren't going away any time soon, so you may as well post a reply and get it over with, lol

huggs
k
Kim SW 252 CW 179 GW 135

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

Stupid Is as Stupid Does---Forrest's Mom










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