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    parakeet210 posted:
    there is a shame resilience researcher. Her name is Brene Brown.
    She has many books out. Is on Oprah doing some classes and also is on TED (if you don't know about TED then just type in TED) and then Brene Brown and you'll find her.

    Brene Brown is a ph.D, LMSW Social work is the last she's a therapist who started researching shame many years ago and if you go to TED you'll meet a very engaging woman with a family unlike u and I. She's really funny too.

    THe book I'm reading with my Therapist is: I thought it was Just ME But it isn't........Making the journey from what will people think? to I AM ENOUGH

    this is a worthwhile videos on Ted and she's also been exclusive on Oprah teaching what she's found out about shame.......

    I had a really mean pdoc once and she said to me (I hated the comment at the time) "Dr: Keet it doesn't matter what anyone thinks of you!" Because its none of your business!!

    Now think about that. I know its not easy but sure helps a lot when I can remember ................. God speed everyone keet
    This moment is your life, choose to live it. Grab all the gusto you can!!!

    tweety 'keet'

    SW 254.2 GW 170
    rohvannyn responded:
    Keet, I'm interested in what you have to say and would like to understand it a little better. Could you tell me a bit more about what you meant in the second to last paragraph? I think it might be good for me to think about.

    'Your focus determines your reality.' -QGJ

    'Try not. Only do.' --Y
    mog1026 replied to rohvannyn's response:
    I have heard that before myself, that its none of your business what others think of you. I suppose it's because we are all entitled to our own thoughts and nobody else has a right to them, not even if they are about us. But I really think it's a tricky way to get us to disregard trying to please everyone else and learn to view the world from a feeling of self-confidence.
    Kathy SW 235.1 CW 201.6 GW 165

    Greedily she ingorg'd without restraint,
    And knew not eating Death
    Milton, Paradise Lost
    parakeet210 replied to rohvannyn's response:

    examples: i'm worried of what the doc will say if I have
    a high bmi. Will docn criticize me? will doc think I'm so fat!

    challenge is then: what other people think of me is none of my business!

    I;m worryied because I didn't do the last challenge very well at all. I think everyone is mad at me. I think they don't like me.
    What other people think of me is non of my business.

    this is not to use as a disregard to people and I may not have chosen the perfect examples but hopefully u get the gist.
    In other words we all make to many judgetments during the day t let that go and then make this statement to ourselves we can live in our own skills much better.

    if there are a select hanldful of people spouse, kids, a couple of close friends and a few close relatives...............then sometimes they're point of view of us is important but not important enuf tot put all validity in it. We cannot be only the value others make us feel but our value we give ourselves first and foremost.

    hope this helps roh!!
    if we can jus
    This moment is your life, choose to live it. Grab all the gusto you can!!!

    tweety 'keet'

    SW 254.2 GW 170
    jis4judy replied to mog1026's response:
    Hi Kathy it is sort of like why worry about what others think of you they are probably thinking of what you think of them LOL

    Hugs Judy
    SW 247 CW 150ish maintaining

    Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
    life may not be the Party we expected but while we are here we may as well dance

    justmejust replied to jis4judy's response:
    Or maybe do what you think is best instead of what others think you should do that you don't agree with.
    Laura -
    Baby steps, to a healthy lifestyle change. When you change your thoughts you will then change your weight. Getting healthy is about progress, not perfection.
    rohvannyn replied to parakeet210's response:
    Thank you for the clarification. It makes sense. Especially the part about putting more weight in the opinions of people that matter to you.

    'Your focus determines your reality.' -QGJ

    'Try not. Only do.' --Y
    SharonNVirginia replied to rohvannyn's response:
    The important time to pay attention to what others think is when your judgement is impaired and theirs is not.
    CW 211 SW 265 GW 130
    I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.-Philippians 4:13

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