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    really frustrated
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    parakeet210 posted:
    I'm wasting time! I need to get on this soapbox or get off all together!
    I start out usually good until skinny husband gets home. then he has his crunch time w/tostitos (a special kind) and now there's chocolate covered pomegranate, , TONS OF FOOD! and there will be 3 of us! How flippin icky is that?

    its not thanksgiving yet. there's not even going to be room in the fridge for cooked food. i'm stressed out with daughters divorce and huge changes happening. I've asked for Christmas for a helping hand to help me get off this weight. no kiddin its bigger than me!! sorry to whine.......................I just am at wits end!! KEET
    This moment is your life, choose to live it. Grab all the gusto you can!!!

    tweety 'keet'

    SW 254.2 GW 170
    Reply
    FirstPrevious12NextLast
     
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    jis4judy responded:
    Hi tweet
    Is there any way that you can separate yourself from hubby while he munches?
    It does help to imagine the offending foods as poison it is poison to our bodies even if your hubby is thin those things are not nourishing his body and maybe you could make him aware of that ..
    none of us should eat foods that others eat especially out husbands what they eat is bad for us because men have higher metabolisms and can get away with some indulgence
    but it really isn;t helpful to their bodies ... men have shorter lives than women as a rule it may have something to do with their lack of nutrition
    I certainly hope something in this helps
    Hugs Judy
    SW 247 CW 150ish maintaining

    Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
    life may not be the Party we expected but while we are here we may as well dance

     
    avatar
    abnersmom responded:
    Sorry you are so stressed and discouraged, Keet. i hate it when I hear how husbands sabotage their wives' efforts to eat healthier. I have a friend whose husband does that to her. It never fails when she sets her mind to lose some weight, he comes home with doughnuts or KFC or some other fast food. I guess they fear you'll change or something.

    You have to take care of YOU. You are worth it and need to be your top priority. I hope that your Christmas wish of support from your family comes true.
    Debbie SW 265 CW 150 maintaining - You only live once, so live right. Healthy. Fit. Be active.
     
    avatar
    bigred53 replied to abnersmom's response:
    Keet,

    Kick him in the shins...lol. Tell him to PLEASE not eat that stuff in front of you and to hide it when he's done. Communication is always the key to understanding.

    I have a sabatour in my family - my mother. When we are out to dinner she will usually ask me if I want to finish her dinner or dessert. I'll look at her like -"Are you crazy". Really, she knows I'm diabetic and she knows I'm trying to lose weight and be healthier but I'm still her 'baby' she has to feed. I really don't get it. One of her best friends is dying from diabetic complications and my mother will ask if I'm taking care of myself because she doesn't want me to end up like her friend.

    There will always be someone who will try to sabatage your quest. It could be a jealous friend and you already know about family. Maybe your hubby is afraid that if you get to a healthy weight that you won't want him any more or that other men will pay too much attention to you. Maybe he likes you "fluffy". When he pulls out his bag of goodies leave the room - that will get him thinking that you really are serious.

    Good luck Keet. I know it's a difficult situation.

    Michelle
     
    avatar
    rohvannyn replied to bigred53's response:
    I don't get why people who purportedly love us want us to die.

    Seriously. That's what it comes down to. Diabetes, for example, can lead to numbness in extremities, poor healing, amputation, blindness, and death. And yet our "loved ones" sabotage us by pushing that extra portion, by tempting us. I don't blame them at first, they are usually doing it out of love, but if they continue when we have explained it to them...? That's just wrong!

    I'm so grateful for my mom and dad. They still send me care packages, and I send some to them as well. But they respect my dietary needs. My mom just sent me, for example, some turkey snack sticks with no artificial ingredients and lots of spice. Taste like Slim Jims, but don't kill you with preservatives.

    So, my wish for you all this holiday season, is that your loved ones can accept your healthy choices and support them with joy and gratitude. After all, you will be with them longer because of those choices!
    Roh

    'Your focus determines your reality.' -QGJ

    'Try not. Only do.' --Y
     
    avatar
    bigred53 replied to rohvannyn's response:
    Roh,

    You are so right. I think the next time my mother tries to push food on me I'm going to ask her if she's trying to kill me. Maybe that will shock her enough to start thinking that what she does is wrong for me.

    My diabetes is in good control (last A1c was 5. unlike mom's friend who was in total denial for over 10 years or until she started getting sick and going blind. I do have a little bit of numbness occasional but when I take Alpha Lipoic Acid religiously it goes away. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother dearly but she grew up during the depression and did without and so did our relatives so all my life I remember them pushing food - out of their perceived notion of love.

    I am not perfect by any means - I indulge enough on my own without anyone helping me further.

    Roh, the last paragraph of your post is AWESOME! Thanks!

    Michelle
     
    avatar
    rohvannyn replied to bigred53's response:
    An A1c of 5? That's awesome! Congratulations! Maybe you can use her friend as an object lesson. "If I take care of myself by putting good things in my body, I won't end up like her." She might understand that. Maybe you can come up with something she can do that would help you? LIke some kind of salad she's good at, or some food that is halfway good for you? Then she can do something she undertands, and not feel helpless, and you can both be happy. Either way, I wish you luck.
    Roh

    'Your focus determines your reality.' -QGJ

    'Try not. Only do.' --Y
     
    avatar
    bigred53 replied to rohvannyn's response:
    OOPS! I don't know where that little face came from. I meant 5.8. I'd like to be lower and I'm working on that. My fasting bg this am was 68 and yesterday was 64. I know, a little low. I'm normally in the 70's and 80's. I need to do a little experimenting with my meds. Maybe I can eliminate the glyburide one of these days. If my bg is in the 80's at bed time I haven't been taking it and my fasting is still good. Diabetes control can be an experiment just like weight loss/health quest. I know the more weight I lose the better it is for my diabetes and everything else.

    My mother is 81 and disabled - she doesn't cook for herself anymore. She has had an 'I can't attitude' for many years. I sometimes say she is on the 'pity wagon'. I know if she would do her physical therapy exercises she would be in a lot better condition but she is very stubborn and feels that because she is 'old' she doesn't have to but it does create a hardship for my sister and me if she has/wants to go anywhere, especially my sister as she is retired.

    Roh, thank you for your suggestions. You are one smart woman.

    Michelle
     
    avatar
    blondie454u replied to bigred53's response:
    MIchelle,

    It also could be that she isn't educated on what food can really do to us. It can heal us or hurt us. Maybe giving her a lesson on how it all works might help, if she doesn't already know. Usually when I come across people that does those kind of things out of love, it's usually 2 reasons: 1. Didn't realize how harmful "food" really is, the reason for the quotes is sometimes that process food isn't food at all. It's stuff made in a lab. 2. They know and they don't care, "I'll eat what I want and so should you". Well did you considered that I don't want to DIE!!!! Eating crap all the time is a slow way of committing suicide. It's just as bad as smoking, drugs, and alcohol.
    Amber CW 135-139 maintaining, SW 250. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1Cor. 13:7
     
    avatar
    bigred53 replied to blondie454u's response:
    Thanks Amber. That's a good suggestion. I guess I feel that I did explain to her when I was first diagnosed about low carbs and no 'white' stuff (pasta, potatoes, bread, rice). She used to be very careful about what she ate and did count calories/carbs at one time. She knows too that I have had a life long battle with my weight (duh) so I kind of feel that she's going to do whatever she wants to do whether it's right or wrong for anybody else and including herself

    My son didn't have a weight problem until she started picking him up from school and taking him to McDonald's every day. Her reasoning was "he's hungry'. I would tell her - so take him home and give him an apple. She's from the generation who think food is love - NOT!! It certainly is a cunumdrum to say the least. She would be happy if all of her 'chicks' were still in the nest.

    Thanks everyone for reading!!

    Michelle
     
    avatar
    parakeet210 replied to bigred53's response:
    My husband has been snacking on tostitos for at least 15 years every day w/o fail. He's close to pre diabetic and everytime I suggest different foods he turns to shs comfort foods. I tell him all the time no junk food. he does the shopping most of the time because I have so many problems with knees. The foot is getting better and I went to pool today and did a huge workout.

    with my dd living with us I bought food she resquest Some healthy some not. I've lost over 100 lbs. before 2 x and due to the (tsorry got interrupted) and now don't know what I was typing).

    I'm sorry.................I'm sad, and frustrated which turns into anger a bit. I have so much food its RIDICULOUS! you should see the extra fridge full of pop. He's gone mad! Actually he has OCD. There will be 3 of us for TD. WTH!

    I'm kinda on a rant because My Family Keeps me Stuck!!
    DD and DH converse about their days and i'm not even included in the conversation. sigh he wants me to buy more xmas presents for her because she's only getting 1 huge thing!
    we already spent a lot on her. i'm outta control and i'm just really ugly right now. I'm sorry I wrote and started this thread.
    My apologies to everyone here.
    This moment is your life, choose to live it. Grab all the gusto you can!!!

    tweety 'keet'

    SW 254.2 GW 170
     
    avatar
    bigred53 replied to parakeet210's response:
    Keet,

    Sweetie there is no need for you to apologize to me or anyone else here. I'm sure we've all had problems like yours with family and friends. For a lot of us it's an ongoing battle. Go ahead and have as many rants/vents as you need. We all need to vent at one time or another or even every day - I know I could vent about one of my co-workers 24/7...lol.

    You want to know what I'd be really tempted to do - throw out all their crap and set fire to it. Knowing me I would probably do it especially if I had been continually asking them not to eat it in front of me or for them to lock it up somewhere I couldn't get into it. OCD or not your husband, and daughter too are IMO disrespecting you. You deserve to have your needs/feelings respected. I would probably subject them to a major rant and let them know exactly how I felt about their disregard of me. Of course I'm a lot meaner than you are.

    Keet, you deserve to be healthy. We all do but sometimes others get in our way. Judy's husband keeps a candy stash. Amber's husband was slow to get on the health wagon if I remember correctly. My mother tries to feed me. I keep chips in my car where I can't see them otherwise the whold bag would be gone in a flash.

    You did not attack anyone of us personally. You let your feelings and frustrations out - which is a good thing. Holding them in too long can really stress you out. Your vent allowed me to have my vent. It's all good my dear.

    Take care of yourself and I'll say an extra prayer for you.

    XOXOXOXO

    Michelle
     
    avatar
    mog1026 replied to bigred53's response:
    What a good reply Michelle. Hugs to you and my Tweety Bird
    Kathy SW 235.1 CW 207.6 GW 165

    Greedily she ingorg'd without restraint,
    And knew not eating Death
    Milton, Paradise Lost
     
    avatar
    rohvannyn replied to rohvannyn's response:
    5.8 is still not so bad! At least it shows some control, instead of the numbers being way out of whack. The little face came from this punctuation mark : being typed next to a 0. Together they made : 0 or :0. I'm glad you came here to vent. Everybody has to, sometimes. Now other people can read your experiences and realize they are not alone.
    Roh

    'Your focus determines your reality.' -QGJ

    'Try not. Only do.' --Y
     
    avatar
    rohvannyn replied to rohvannyn's response:
    Actually, it was probably or : o. Either way, it just turned into a "smiley" symbol.
    Roh

    'Your focus determines your reality.' -QGJ

    'Try not. Only do.' --Y


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