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Depression, Weight Loss, and a sense of Purpose
rohvannyn posted:
I've been looking around on the depression board, and some of the other coping skills boards, a lot lately, giving and getting help as I can. I've noticed something. It seems that the skills used in improving your mood, or your relationships, are the same skills used in losing weight. And in all things, having a clear sense of purpose helps.

If I am depressed, it often comes with feelings of purposelessness and hopelessness. That causes a disinclination for improvement and deepens the depression. I might even go so far as to say that having a lack of purpose CAUSES depression, along with various environmental factors. Discovering a reason to be, whether it be a beloved hobby or some kind of life mission, gives me the energy and drive to better my relationships, break out of depression, and stick to a weight loss plan. It is all interconnected.

An example: I just had the idea of partnering with my dad to buy a duplex or triplex. I can then use my rental income to help pay off the property and lower my cost of living. My spouse is qualified to do maintenance so that's not a worry. If I find some way to make this work, then I will get out of my little apartment, have some autonomy, and will be building wealth instead of building someone else's wealth every month. This is relevant because with renewed hope, I find myself a little more interested in pursuing hobbies, working harder at my job, and eating better--simply because I don't feel like I am in a dead end anymore. Weight loss through empowerment? Worth a look.

I'm bouncing my ideas off of you folks partly to stimulate discussin, and partly so you can tell me if I'm way off base or not.

'Your focus determines your reality.' -QGJ

'Try not. Only do.' --Y
bigred53 responded:
Roh, sounds great to me. You inspire me to look deeper into myself and try to understand what's going on inside. IMO you are one smart woman and I always enjoy reading your posts on this board and others.

The road to self-improvment is a long and often difficult one but through a desire to become better and healthier people I know that we will make it. Some of us will get there sooner than others but that doesn't make the slow pokes bad people.

It is difficult to not become disillusioned occasionally but I find myself becoming 'addicted' to this site. I need to come here. I may not post every day but I do check up on y'

jis4judy responded:
Hi Roh I always thought budgeting calories was a lot like budgeting money So I think building wealth is related to building a better body So that makes sense to me
I would make a crappy landlord so rental property would never work for me
if your partner is great with work related to owning rental property You may have a good chance to build something a better financial life as well as a better body

Hugs Judy
SW 247 CW 150ish maintaining

Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
life may not be the Party we expected but while we are here we may as well dance

rachael2011 responded:
Roh, I agree that what you said makes a lot of sense. When I am focusing on something important to me, the other pieces, be they relationships, emotions or money, seem to come together more. Maybe it has something to do with the confidence that empowering yourself gives you. Interesting. Thanks for giving us something to think about tonight.

The idea of buying a rental property (or buying any property for that matter as I will probably always rent) for me is both terrifying and extremely appealing. Good luck in whatever you decide! You are smart and intuitive; I am sure you will make the right decision for you!
Rachael...under construction.

SW 325 CW 285.2 Short term goal-275 Goal weight- unsure
rohvannyn replied to rachael2011's response:
Thanks for the thoughts, everybody. I used to have a mortgage but was foreclosed on because I was laid off in the middle of it and had a really hard time finding employment. That also caused some other debt that went unpaid. In a couple of years I will probably be able to get a co-signed loan but it's difficult to wait. I'm tired of living in an apartment and I found a really awesome property that would meet my needs perfectly!

Check this out: a 3 bedroom, a 2 bedroom, and a 1 bedroom. The 3 bedroom has a/c and is seperate from the 2 and the 1. Off street parking for all three units. Close to downtown, a college campus, a school, everything. It's got a wall all around it and three solar panels on each unit. New elecrtical box with a meter for each unit. All tile floors. Fireplace in the 3 bedroom. Nice kitchens, pretty new appliances, lots of windows. Low maintenance landscaping, two palm trees, all kinds of extras. All this for $120,000. With payments of around a thousand a month I could easily get $750 for one, $450 for another, live in the third, pay the taxes and bank the excess.

IHowever, I'm sure no one would want to talk to me by myself, with my history. Unless someone has an idea of how to get investment property on a bad credit score, I'll just have to breathe, let it go, and see who owns the property in a couple of years...

'Your focus determines your reality.' -QGJ

'Try not. Only do.' --Y
parakeet210 replied to rohvannyn's response:
savings? borrow from friends relatives and co workers to get the 10% down.............or maybe its assumable loan and your dad would sign with you & honey....prob assumable would be to big on a property like this but do you know much it is or do th'ey have a loan on it??
I'll check i tomorrow if I feel better. ugh.
I have thought that weight loss is like any other addiction and that is that its part of us and we have to solve problems every day with it and only allow so much food and drink to be successful. only in some ways harder than others cuz of having to eat.
This moment is your life, choose to live it. Grab all the gusto you can!!!

tweety 'keet'

SW 264.0. GW. 170 CW 255.4
mefirstforever responded:
Good tread.
You are so right about the sense of purpose
I retired 2 years ago, after 38 years of working full time and razing a family. Now 2 of my 3 kids left the house. So my sense of purpose had to be shifted. I have my DH and my son is still home but quite independent even financially. So I had to find a reason to get up every morning. Work in progress.
On the topic of buying a house.
You maybe have to let go this property but not the dream. You may be surprised that your dream becomes reality sooner than you think. It took us 2 years for our dream of owning a home.
Helene GW 140 CW 198.6 SW 224
Every day is a gift do your best, be kind especially to yourself and smile.
blondie454u responded:

I know what you mean here. I am in a similar situation except I just want my family to own a home. I can't because of those same reasons. I feel like what's the point in working to ever have nothing? I just have to look deeper and realize I do have a lot. I just continue to pray every day. I know God will answer my prayers and reward me abundantly, maybe not in ways I think I should be. He knows what's best and gives me more than what I deserve. I wish you all the luck in the world.
Amber CW 135-139 maintaining, SW 250. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1Cor. 13:7
mog1026 replied to blondie454u's response:
I sure wish I'd won that mega-million jackpot. I'd love to make all your dreams come true. xx
Kathy SW 235.1 GW 165

Greedily she ingorg'd without restraint,
And knew not eating Death
Milton, Paradise Lost

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