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    Rough last week and a half:
    californiakayla posted:
    I've noticed a slow but steady decline in fried takeaway food over the last two weeks-- even just now, I was able to bypass the pizza place and the Donut Bar in search for something healthier-- but it certainly hasn't been easy. Last night for example, after a boiled dinner of potatoes, cabbage, and lean protein (with very little salt/butter), I totally sabotaged the whole day by going and picking up a pint of gelato at 10pm, and working on the whole pint until past midnight when my homework was done.

    Work is so stressful right now-- literally working 'round the clock with very little sleep; sleep tracking is showing that since Sunday night, I've spent 15.36 hours in bed. The doctor said that my sleep schedule must be adjusted, or nothing else, including weight loss, will fall into place.

    Am very scared that going on the medications next month is going to result in weight gain… so I'm diligently cutting out the junk and consciously adjusting eating habits to get in the groove. The positive side of the medications is that they may even out the brain chemical issues and sleep like they are supposed to… and then I will be successful over time (just an inherent mistrust of medicine).

    My weight gain is starting to be noticed by coworkers-- my boss in a private meeting the other day asked if I've talked to a doctor about my diet. Just having such a difficult time with all of it… it is a viscous cycle with the two high-stress jobs and school. The doctor also additionally said I need to find a way to get to just one job, but… I don't see how that is possible right now.

    Mostly just sounding off-- feeling really lost in all of this. My friend Kym said I won't get anywhere if I don't stop beating myself up, and that I have to be kind to myself.

    Someone suggested eating in front of a mirror in my underwear-- how much more self-abusive could it be, no?
    bigred53 responded:
    Kayla - WOW - you sure have a lot going on. Your doctor is right about sleep. Studies have been done that show lack of sleep can cause weight gain. Sleep is one of the most important things you can do for yourself and your health.

    As for the meds, are they for depression. It's sad that most antidepressants can cause weight gain. I was on Paxil and my weight loss went down to a snal's pace. I did some research and asked my doctor to switch me to Wellbutrin which is weight neutral and I've been losing much faster. Talk to your doctor about it.

    Good for you passing up the fried fast food. I usually go to a fast food place for dinner but I have discovered some very good choices. You can get grilled chicken salads at McD's and Jack In The Box. Just be mindful of the dressings. Since you are in California (so am I) there is probably an El Pollo Loco around. They now have several menu items that are 500 calories or under which are very good. In fact I'm going to have the grilled chicken salad with citrus dressing and salsa tonight. Very filling and under 500 calories. There are even some privately owned drive-thrus that have healthy offerings. When I get Chinese food I will get one small spoonful of fried rice, vegetables and usually the peppered or kung pao chicken (I like spicy). I get the flavors I want without all the carbs and calories. Even at Yoshinoya you can get a chicken and vegetable bowl without rice.

    Do you take healthy foods to work? I almost always have fat free Greek yogurt, canned chicken, celery, sugar snap peas (just lately), apples, grapefruit, blackberries (when they're on sale), pistachios, almonds and peanut butter. And a must is lots of water on hand.

    I think that you'll discover that when you eat healthily you'll start feeling better mentally and physically. You're young and you've got to look forward to the rest of you life. Don't wait until you're my age (60) to start getting healthy.

    Your friend Kym is right!! Stop beating yourself up. You are WORTH being healthy and happy! LOVE yourself enough to do it! It will take time and you will stumble now and then - we all do.

    Venting is healthy! Trust me, I've done my share here. We understand how difficult weight loss is. Remember that you are not alone! YOU CAN DO THIS!!

    Here is a quote by Theodore Roosevelt that I came across today - "Nothing worth having was ever achieved without effort". It is so worth the efforts to become healthy.


    justmejust responded:
    Hi Kayla, don't give up! If at first you don't succeed, try, try again! Two steps forward, 1 step back...Baby steps to lifestyle change is my motto, i.e. choose a bit of fiber, especially in a leafy green handful of spinach first before any meal. Focus on one ingredient foods, such as apple, grapefruit, cantelop, broccoli, carrot, canned plain black beans, canned tuna in water, skim milk, hard boiled egg, whole grain brown rice, etc. choose your favorites. Good luck! Laura
    Baby steps, to a healthy lifestyle change. When you change your thoughts you will then change your weight. Getting healthy is about progress, not perfection.
    jis4judy responded:
    Hi Kayla
    I hear you on the mistrust of medicines I don't trust them either . That's one of the reasons I am trying to self heal from the inside out through food ..the healthier I eat the better chance that My body can heal itself ..
    Sleep is a big part of being healthy Have you tried meditation
    relaxing totally and allowing your body to sleep. When I had problems sleeping it was because my mind was too active and would not stop racing , Meditation and yoga can help with that .

    Great job on avoiding the fast food places with practice you might be able to avoid the gelato too ...
    It does help a lot to have a cut off time no food after like say 7 or 8 pm at least 2 or 3 hours before bedtime I allow only water and decaf tea after 8 pm I go to bed around 11 pm

    I used to be a big night time eater and that's how I got fat to start with so that's a great place to start make that cut off time it does help

    Hugs Judy
    SW 247 CW 150ish maintaining

    Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
    life may not be the Party we expected but while we are here we may as well dance

    mog1026 replied to jis4judy's response:
    Kayla, going to school and two high stress jobs sounds next to impossible. Add to that no sleep, depression, dieting and it sounds like a recipe for mental collapse to me. Is it really necessary to do all this at once? Your ambition is admirable, but it would be great to be standing by the time you reach your goals. Try to remember that your health comes first and make your decisions accordingly. And you're young. Where's the FUN in this equation? Are you allowing yourself the time and energy to hang with friends, play beach volleyball, surf in those California waves? That duff is Important too!
    Kathy SW 235.1 CW 210.8. GW 165

    Greedily she ingorg'd without restraint,
    And knew not eating Death
    Milton, Paradise Lost
    californiakayla replied to mog1026's response:
    Hey ladies,

    Stepped on the scale and have somehow managed to shed 9 pounds in the last two weeks. I've been steadily moving away from fast food-- with the falling off the cart once in the last two weeks.

    @Kathy, you are totally correct in that observation, hence working with the therapist. I haven't been taking the time to enjoy myself, and this Friday was huge wake up call for that. I attended an event and had dinner (very health-focused organic) with friends for the first time in seven months. Without enough play, I'm going to work myself into an early grave.

    I'm not dieting per say, but working on changing extremely sabotaging habits and the relationship with food, hoping the rest falls into place, i.e. no more binge eating, breaking the fast-food addiction, habitually grocery shopping, etc.

    In one week, I start intense cognitive therapy programs-- my job in the performing arts has allowed for 100% flex scheduling so that I may make my own hours to accommodate therapy, and to ?heal?. HR and my manager are 100% on my side for addressing the depression issues now in a comprehensive way so that in a year this doesn't come back ten-fold worse. Attempting to take full advantage of the accommodation to get better.
    mog1026 replied to californiakayla's response:
    You don't mess around Kayla. When you see the problem, you get right on top of it! Good for you! When you get yourself sorted out, and I have no doubt that you will, please stick around and work on the rest of us too !!!
    Kathy SW 235.1 CW 209.2 GW 165

    Greedily she ingorg'd without restraint,
    And knew not eating Death
    Milton, Paradise Lost
    totallywiggedout replied to californiakayla's response:
    Congratulations for taking the bull by the horns, Kayla. You are going to get the situation under control and when that happens, more than likely, your weight will improve right along with your emotional health. So much to look forward to!

    Reboot weight April 7, 2014... 198
    Goal 6-9 lbs loss per month, goal 135

    You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be. ---- Marianne Williamson

    Judy gone 6/1-6/11

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