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Lack of treatment
msp36 posted:
Today was a bad day, I purged 5 times. I didn't really binge all that much, but none the less I try to keep it down to once aday. I think I average 3. This has been going on for 25 years. Its killing me. Itry to relate to people but I am a 36 year old guy,and my eating disorder seams to be older than most people I share this commonality with. Then again I am overgeneralizing, a sure sign of depression. i try, but it has been so long. This is a polemic statement but I live in Arizona and thare are no inpatient facillities that accept men with my insurance. There are 5 in the greater Phoenix area that accept women. Why? This bums me out. My therepist is just as frustrated as me. Sorry this post is so down, like I said it ws a bad day. Finding out there are no inpatient treatment programs available today was a punch in the gut. I suppose I'll get over it.I seriously feel hopeless again. I know every one has their issues.Sorry to be a bother, just needed to post somthing least my son isn't bulimic thats a relief. I feel a little better. Eurika! now I understand the posting thing
lostkate responded:
I am sorry to hear you are struggling so much. I don't feel ED has an age limit, yes most people are younger but you would be surprised how many people are in there 30's and 40's dealing with this. I am 47. Your not a bother, thats what these exchanges are for. We are here to help each other. Have you thought maybe trying another therapist, not sure how you feel about that. I know how hard that can be. Keep writing, let me know how you doing. Good days are coming.

Oopsla responded:
Well that rules that out. I was going to say if you were in the North East that we'd go for a jog and talk about it.

I once went to an eating disorder group session. First and last one ever. I felt so uncomfortable around all the girls and in some light felt as if I stifled their discussion with a male there. Having a male at a clinic can be a trigger and could possibly upset the recovery of the women there. It is just easier for inpatient treatment to get rid of as many triggers/variables that they can. I don't know how many times here I felt as if I shouldn't be here trying to help. Being a guy and suffering from ED has bigger hurdles for us MSP.

By the way, while I do not purge anymore I am very strict on myself as to what I can and cannot eat. In a sense I keep my troubles at bay by keeping myself healthy, at a proper weight, and eating healthy.

I recently filled out a form for health insurance and it did some generic calculations to figure out my BMI. I was so perturbed when I saw that number. In their 'comments' section I gave them an earful. In here I have always tried to express that your number one priority is to happy in your skin no matter what you weigh or BMI is. The goal is to stop the abuse and then slowly modify yourself to a healthy weight. Each of us is different in our own right, genetics and life's experiences have seen to that.

I have residuals that won't let go. The people I feel comfortable talking with are the people here. To hell with normal people MSP. When you deal with 'normal' people you may not ever relate. Is there something wrong with not relating? Can you not walk your own path? Sure stop and say hi but these normal people are not in your mind 24/7. If they are... get them out. Be you MSP.

Yes, purging sucks but do not compound it by having so many negatives (unless you are just venting). When you realize that you have worth in your own eyes the ED will be something you can tackle. If you dig a hole you and the ED will sit there staring at each other. Vent here, don't give up looking for a place that takes guys. If it is out of state then so be it. What is it worth to get over this?
msp36 replied to Oopsla's response:
Thankyou !! You are so right OOpsla>>> the BMI formula is , well never mind the formula, its written on a napkin and I don't have any Idea where that napkin is. But I did my approxatate BMI and it came to 28.4 which by the "standards" is borderline obese. Imight not be Brad Pittt but I am sure not obese. I am 36 I am not 19, and I will never be19 or 35 or 30 again for that matter.The BMI is evil. It is incomplete there are no compensations for age, just pure simple and wrong mathematics. Wow, I feel better ( a little )
Thanks for your input it was isightful as usual

Lost Kate thank you for your post,since you're stuck inside the house because of the rain, maybe If you watched a comedy or somthing upbeat you wold feel better( a litte ) reruns of Frasier are bomb! the News is somthing I try to stay away from when I am down.

Have a good day.
Oopsla replied to msp36's response:
Hey MSP let's keep it real. Your weight and age are not intertwinded. There are a lot of skinny old people and a lot of of fat kids who grew up to be skinny. Of course it gets harder for many as life has a way of making more priorities and many lose touch with what is relly important.

Look at your example Brad Pitt. He is a year older then me. He is in fine shape because he works at it. You shouldn't compare yourself to him. Bt then it is his job as an actor.

I hear you putting yourself down again. Quit jabbing yourself. Hold your head up my friend.

On a side note that BMI thing...Argh! Crud like that really bothers me. Part of my mind gets all whacko and I want to proove my fitness. This of course is right in line with the trouble we all have here. We want to show the world that we are somebody. I catch myself on this delusionary need to be validated. I do not need their approval. You do not either. You only need your own approval. You are not going to get it if you keep putting yourself down. Quit comparing and be you.

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