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    to operate or not?
    An_200932 posted:
    i have feen fat for the last 18 years...i binge eat. i am 103kilos . my knees hurt due to being overweight. i am depressed. shall i do a by pass and get it (fatness)over with?
    Oopsla responded:
    Maybe if you work on the depression you will not need the surgery. If you do not fix the way you think you'll probably get get fat after the surgery given statistics.

    Have faith in yourself.
    Lainey_WebMD_Staff responded:
    Hi Anon_39680,
    Do you qualify for the surgery? A friend of mine had the surgery. Before you decide please research, speak with your family, and friends. Do you also have a counselor or support group?
    Oopsla replied to Oopsla's response:
    Wow! Sorry about that. I read what I posted a day later and think I didn't exactly say what I wanted to convey.

    Dear Anon,

    Whether to go under the knife is ultimately your decision. The best advice would come from your doctor who knows you. The bypass doctors are/maybe too bias.

    You, yourself must within find the courage to and strength in yourself to be you. No matter what you weigh, what you look like. Going through life depressed is not what anyone wants to do. Bypass is not a cure for depression. I just seeing being happy in your state a mind trumps anything. If you are happy and confident there are no obstacles in life you cannot tackle. Just remember, surgery or not, that you must always keep your chin up and strive to be happy.

    Best wishes to you,
    An_200933 responded:
    I just wanted to tell you losing weight is not going to make the depression go away. I no because i was over weight myself. my weight was 229lbs and i now weigh 92lbs due to my eating disorder. before my weight lose i was very depressed thanking if i could just lose this weight i would feel better. i lost that much weight in less then 2 years and today my depression is still here. I thank you should work on the depression before you make that big step for them to operate. And i don't want to scare you but one of my family members had that done and she pasted away 3 days later. But maybe if you work on the depression before, that may make it easier for you to decide what to do.
    Lainey_WebMD_Staff replied to Oopsla's response:
    Well said Oopsla! :)
    loolilu replied to An_200933's response:
    thank u for your reply. i had to make a new account cuz i coudnt access the one i posted earlier....
    i was and am a bit depressed.....i know dieting is a mind set ....but i cant grasp it...if u have advice ,i wud be thankful
    Oopsla replied to loolilu's response:
    Hi Loolilu,

    I am sorry to hear about the depression. I deal with it as well.

    This is the support group for people with eating disorders. It is not the best group to get dieting information from as we take it to the the extreme in bad ways. Your best bet is to get advice from the dieting boards. I will try to add my two cents while you are here.

    You say "dieting is a mindset". I think whenever people hear the word "diet" they thinks of salads and a tortuous existence until they hit that goal weight.

    If you look up the word 'diet' you will get:
    Etymology: Middle English diete, from Anglo-French, from Latin diaeta, from Greek diaita, literally, manner of living, from diaitasthai to lead one's life

    What I gather is that we morphed diet into some penance when in fact dieting should only be a way of life. It is about being smart or actively thinking about what we put in our bodies. We are bombarded with commercials to eat this, go to that restaurant, enjoy this drink. Marketing people know exactly what buttons to push to get you to consume. You need to say no.

    If you want any advice for the weight and the depression it would be to take control of your life. Make healthy living your way of life (without using the evil 'diet' word). You make decisions what is healthy (not the commercials). You take the time to read some articles on healthy living.

    It is always a happier day when you can walk outside with the sun on your face (or even when rain is hitting your umbrella) then it is to sit and ponder, "What am I to do?"

    Be happy with yourself no matter what state you are in. With slight tweaks to the "lifestyle" in time you will morph closer to your goal.

    Best wishes,
    loolilu replied to Oopsla's response:
    oops , yes i do have an eating disorder thats why i got fat. i eat and eat and eat....till i am stuffed, once i feel slight relief... i eat...i eat food that have no connection with one another like sardine then ice cream then cake then chips,,,,,the amounts are horrendous...i cud eat a (kilo) tub of icecream all by my self,,,
    when there is a food i like i have no self control what so ever ...ijust have to finish it,,the idea that it is there makes me fidgety......
    i feel lost to this lack of self control..........
    Oopsla replied to loolilu's response:
    And so we have come a full circle.

    About half of America could be classified as obese which would mean they all have an eating disorder as well. The dieting boards are populated with people in your shoes who have similar stories and are at various stages of getting better. They would have a vast amount of knowledge which you should consider tapping into.

    Here is a link to an abstract that I thought pertains to your situation:

    It says whet we have but have more clout then any of us.

    I'll quote the last paragraph in case the link does not work, "CONCLUSION: Since long-term weight maintenance depends on post-operative changes in eating behaviors, it is important to identify patients at risk for a range of disordered eating patterns so that a comprehensive treatment plan that targets the eating disturbances and associated psychological components can be implemented."

    Given that I would seek medical and mental help for your situation. And there is one thing you should remember, you have as much control as any of us. What you lack is proper thinking. If you learn how to think before you react you will be in a better place. Because you then can alter your reaction.

    Get some sun and remember it is a beautiful day.

    Lainey_WebMD_Staff replied to loolilu's response:
    loolilu, are you talking about stomach stapling or the gastric bypass band surgery?
    loolilu replied to Lainey_WebMD_Staff's response:
    stapling mainly....
    Lainey_WebMD_Staff replied to loolilu's response:
    Before you decide, please make sure you research it and caution your doctor that you binge eat.
    loolilu replied to Lainey_WebMD_Staff's response:
    oops thank u for the link yes it did show up and i read does make sense if i binge eat now i will binge eat later....since the reason is not cleared up...
    i will work on my negative thinking and keep u posted. having someone is helpful thank you....
    Lainey_WebMD_Staff replied to loolilu's response:
    That is why we are here loolilu,

    Along with updating, if you just need to vent or say hello and how your day went, please post.


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