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hi everyone...i'm back!
LoverlyLaurie posted:
well, i used to be on the SH forum alot and then quit. i remember a few members from before, like caprice and lostkate, but some of you i don't know yet but would love to get to know! ;)

i'm 23, a senior at a university and am here for support from people who understand what i'm going through and won't judge me for it, but who will be supportive and kind.

today has not been a good day for me. sadly, i had sort of a wake up call moment...actually, i thought it was sorta funny then realized just how sad it was.

i think "how many calories is this?" that i have in my hand. i didn't remember what was in my hand, but i started thinking to myself about it when i notice my dog staring at me and realize that i'm trying to count the calories of a dog bone. hahahahaha. sigh.

nice to be back on a forum i like and nice to meet everyone i didn't know before i left. ♥
We are all in the gutter, but some of us look at the stars. -Oscar Wilde
lostkate responded:
Hi Loverlylaurie,

Welcome back, glad to see you haven't lost your sense of humor.

Lainey_WebMD_Staff responded:
Hi Loverlylaurie,

I am Lainey, a new moderator to this community. Glad you are back. This community is very understanding and supportive. Loved the "counting calories of a dog bone".
Oopsla replied to Lainey_WebMD_Staff's response:

If you were here a few weeks earlier you would of met one who wasn't counting calories but dipping dog bones in gravy and eating them. He is in rehab at the moment and do wish that he is getting better.

Welcome Laurie!

Lainey_WebMD_Staff replied to Oopsla's response:
Dog bones in gravy?
Oopsla replied to Lainey_WebMD_Staff's response:
Oh Lainey,

Yes, bones in gravy. Msp36 had a wit about his words, I am confident he was telling the truth about the dog food. I hope he is doing well.

Understand Lainey that "the craving" is far worse then any need some vampire has in these latest movies for blood.

The glaze goes over some of our eyes and we will eat almost anything to satisfy the craving just to then purge it. It makes me queezy, sad, and shiver remembering those sad days.

I do not know what your background is but if you stick around long enough the education to what we'd do or used to do is frightening.

I myself remember numerous times waking up in odd locations realizing later that I passed out from lack of food. Or the chore of scrubbing vomit from my shoes. The amount of concealment done, shopping in multiple stores, finding places out of sight to purge. You wonder what goes on in the head of the lady you have been buying dozens of donuts off of for years. The fear and embarrassment that grips you when your purging in a public restroom and others walk in. Or the days you walk in a a daze because you haven't eaten in days. Your mind is flying so far away from your body.
It is a rotten way to live.

I am sorry this is Laurie's post. Laurie, here you go:
Milk Bone Dog Biscuits - Small 20
Milk Bone Dog Biscuits - Medium 40
Milk Bone Dog Biscuits - Large 115

LoverlyLaurie replied to Oopsla's response:
roflmao! thanks for the dog bone cals. it made me laugh, but when i think about it, it's so sad and true...and i laugh to keep from crying really. you are so right oops, when your brain gets so glazed over you would eat anything and purge it if it makes you feel in control.

thanks for the warm welcome kate, lainey, & oopsla! good to be back. it really is considering that (i'll be honest) i'm on other forums/message boards that are not as leaned toward recovery, if you get my drift. i do that. i know its sad, but as sure as my good brain fights my ED brain, my good brain picks here and my ED brain picks unhealthy forums. hopefully i will keep fighting and try to come back here as often as i can.

good to be back.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us look at the stars. -Oscar Wilde
Lainey_WebMD_Staff replied to LoverlyLaurie's response:
I agree about some "other communities". It is so hard to fight any issue, when it is social acceptable to behave in ways that might harm us. Smoking, drinking, and eating seem to be a huge spectrum of views. These problems won't change until societies views change.

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