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so lost.
LoverlyLaurie posted:
hey there everyone. havent been on webmd's ed community exchange in a while, but figured it wouldnt hurt. i'm really struggling right now with restricting and binging back and forth. my parents are going through a divorce and i'm just so scared. i'm trying to numb myself with food or punish myself with restriction. i just feel so lost right now and wandering aimlessly in life. i hate this.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us look at the stars. -Oscar Wilde
emstoy09 responded:
((HUGS)) Laurie,
I just wanted you to know that you absolutely aren't alone in your feelings. Although I don't have any experience with divorce, I completely relate to that feeling of numbness you described. It's almost like I crave the numbness that comes, for me, from not eating and sort of going into this "nothing" state where I just float around. That numbness can be comforting and protect me almost.

Anyway, I get that you can use your ED to gain that control you don't have over your parents' divorce. Is there something else you could focus your control on as a "distraction" or just a goal to work on that can make you feel accomplished even when things around you may seem like they are crumbling?

I guess the really scary thing about ED's is that we think we are in control by restricting/bingeing/purging, but really we are being controlled instead. Knowing that rationally is still no match for the emotional part of my brain right now ... so I'm not saying it's easy, because it's not - but we really do need to find some *positive* way to take control of our lives instead, you know??

Thinking about you tonight,
Just when the caterpillar thought the world would end . . .
Lainey_WebMD_Staff responded:
Hi Laurie,

Welcome back! Have you consider talking to your parents about how the divorce is upsetting you? Many parents are so focused on their feelings that they lose site of how it might impact their children.

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