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friend with anorexia nervosa help please
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jankearney123 posted:
how do i help a 38 yr old female who has practiced this disease/addiction for 14 or more years. its getting really hard to be her friend. i'm really the only friend she has because she won't let anyone else in.
met her in aa. she has belonged in aa for 15 years and the most sobriety she has ever got was 14 mos. she also does rx pills and in earlier years drugs of all. some of us do these things. i have a lot of compassion but i don't know what to say.
she's as tall as me and weighs 123. i weight 240. 5'10' both. she has a twin sister who has rejected her because she's sick of her sickness. the dad has also rejected her tho he sent her a hundred for her recent bfday.
she is also borderline personality disorder and bipolar. i've never seen tghe bipolar but am witness to the bpd i believe.
i don't want to make matters worse for her but the aa'ers say its her walk leave her be, no human can help her only God. I dunno? i'm not a savior thats for sure. i just love her and no i'm not gay been married for 32 years. she's a good person deep down. has been supportive of me too. just isolating i hope and not drinking i hope or suicidal.
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
Hi Fran,

I just wanted to welcome you here. I hope others will have some ideas for you but please know this can be a very quiet community and it may take a little while.

What I do know is that you need to be sure you're taking care of yourself too, okay? (((hugs)))
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. ~Christopher Robin to Pooh
 
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jankearney123 replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
THIS FRIEND LEFT A MESSAGE ON MY PHONE BUT I CAN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD OF IT EXCEPT THAT SHE WILL CALL ME BACK TOMORROW. I'M GLAD AT LEAST THAT SHE CALLED BECAUSE I THOUGHT SHE MIGHT BE DEAD! NO WONDER HER FAMILY DOESN'T GET TO WORKED UP OVER HER! SORRY I'M JUST THROUGHLY DISGUSTED AND HURT. I CAN'T BE ON THIS EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER I HAVE AHARD ENOUGH TIME BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SPITTING ON THE FLOOR VENOM I LEFT HER A MESSAGE THAT I WANT MY VASE BACK. I AM SO STIRRED UP I CAN'T STAND IT
 
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to jankearney123's response:
So get off the roller coaster, Fran.

Please take steps to keep yourself safe. The vase, as important as it is to you, isn't nearly as important as your own safety and you're focusing on that and her instead of what you need to do.

Worried about you, Fran.

Remember to breathe.
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. ~Christopher Robin to Pooh
 
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jankearney123 replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
as i mentioned afore another board i am cutting loose my friendship with this person. i just pray to God nothing worse happens to her but if it does then maybe it will be her bottom. she's had open heart surgery, intestines removed all because of anorexia. you help more than you know caprice!
this gives me such angst. i'm trying not to be more self destructive to myself. arrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhh!
 
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to jankearney123's response:
(((Fran)))

I hope both she and you are able to move towards healing.
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. ~Christopher Robin to Pooh
 
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jankearney123 replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
we'll see if she comes to the meeting tomorrow and if she doesn't come and bring my vase then i'll know where i stand.
o cripes caprice i am healed. i never understand what you mean by that? i have character defects if thats what you mean but i even tho work at them will ahve them because I am not Jesus Christ or God. the past well its back then! now well i'm told i have distorted thinking too. and my pdoc nurse said thats exactly what brings people to mental health is the distorted thinking. yup! somehow i need to become more aware of this but haven't figured out the trick yet. do you KNOW WHAT IT IS? i 95% of the time don't realize when i'm distorted. FRUSTRATING YES! SLEEP WELL.i'm getting tired so i'm going to go soon.
 
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jankearney123 replied to jankearney123's response:
[TRIGGER] Its sat nite 920. my friend didn't show for the meeting. i don't have very good judgement! in the past i picked very bad people as friends. with the help of my aa friends i have very good friends now! I am trying not to ruminate over this friendship that meant a great deal to us both. this is the bewitching hour and my thoughts go helter skelter thus i need to write. i once had ed tho i was only 10 lbs. over it b eing considered ed. my friend i talk about here told me that. all of my behaviors are coming back. i ate tonight and now i feel sick! i want it gone! i don't like to purge by mouth i prefer the other way. that is more painful for me due to childbirth ......i hope i'm not talking out of turn. i hope i'm not offending anyone. just feeling crazy and needing to try to purge here i guess? on the screen of idiology. i will go now.
 
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jankearney123 replied to jankearney123's response:
MY FRIEND OD'D BUT IS ALIVE. IM NOW NUMB AND DONT WANT TO FEEL UNLESS IT IS PHYSICAL PAIN!
 
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to jankearney123's response:
Dear Fran,

Sorry to say I'm only now catching up with your posts from over the weekend.

Take care of YOU, Fran. You being in physical pain won't change anything for her. Take steps to keep YOU safe.
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. ~Christopher Robin to Pooh
 
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jankearney123 replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
trying


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