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    Sarahlizabeth posted:
    I know I have an eating disorder, despite my efforts to hide it. I wake up worried about what I will eat that day, and often plan out what I will eat the night before. I am obsessed with counting the calories I eat. I hate eating out because I don't know how many calories are in the foods I am eating, and I dont like eating in front of people. If I do have to eat out somewhere I have to get rid of the food on my plate in other ways besides eating it, I will purposely drop food or pick pieces apart, or offer it to others in hopes of not eating as much. I will research calorie and nutrition info for hours, rearranging the number of calories I will allow myself. I know that I am doing this, and try to stop but I cant. If I end up eating something that I feel like I shouldn't have eaten I punish myself and decide I will eat less tomorrow.
    I literally am obsessed with food, and when I am going to eat again, and obsessed with eating the lowest calorie foods possible. I get so worked up about what to eat that sometimes I just dont eat, and decide I am not hungry, convinve myself that I dont want to eat.
    I was overweight, at 5' 4" and 19 years old, I weighed almost 160 lbs. I started dieting and exercising and was determined to loose weight, and now I am around 110 lbs and its like I cant stop. My hair is falling out, Im depressed, I haven't had a period in several months, I'm always cold, I have been taking vitamins and trying to do better, but I have a legit fear of gaining the weight back.
    Some of my family are concerned about me, while others congradulate me and encourage me to keep off the weight. The ones that think I am too thin are constantly trying to force food on me, it upsets and worries me.
    It feels really good to vent all this, and to get it out.. I know I need help.. :( Any advice?
    Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
    Hi Sarahlizabeth and welcome to WebMD,

    You know this isn't healthy. It has taken over your life and it's so great that you are aware and reaching out now. Use that awareness to get the help you need and deserve.

    Please talk with your family and get their support as well. This has nothing to do with intelligence or willpower and you cannot do this on your own. There is no shame in that.

    Please pursue getting professional help with a therapist who understands eating disorders. And please don't wait. (((hugs)))
    You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. ~Christopher Robin to Pooh
    lostkate responded:
    Hi Sarahlizabeth

    Your story sounds just like mine, I was about your age when I started obsessing over food. I didnt get help right away, it was a couple of years before I did. I started seeing a therapist which help a lot. I wish I had courage like you to get help sooner. Please look into talking with someone and we always here to listen too.


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