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Struggling so much with my weight
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lostkate posted:
I lost after many years of carrying too much weight, 35lbs, I have recently gain back 20 of thoses and its extremely upsetting me, too much upsetting me that I know I need help. I cant get control of my weight or my life lately sooo frustrating because not so long ago I felt really good, healthy, had energy was going in a good direction, now I feel things are going south fast. I dont feel totally out of control but I know Im on the edge and it getting worse.
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
I hope that therapy helps you with this. (((hugs)))

I have my own weight issues, both physically and emotionally, and know how where my weight is can contribute to how I feel about myself, both negatively and positively.

My life is currently in massive transition as well and the stress isn't helping. Thankfully, exercising helps me deal with that stress and I'm trying to make healthier eating choices without starving myself.
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
 
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lostkate replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
Hi Caprice,
Everything feels like its falling apart. I went away this weekend to hopefully relieve some stress, it didnt help. Issues with my weight is becoming worse, I have tried to get back into some walking routine but I cant seem to get motivated. I feel overwhelmed at work, at home and next week I start classes. Im starting to think the classes were a mistake. There are other things going on in life that are a major reason I feel Im falling apart, I just dont feel comfortable writing them here.

Yesterday I got into car accident, it was not my fault. Someone rear ended me and push me into the car in front of me. I really got knocked around, very sore this morning. At that moment I wanted it all to end, just take me away in an ambulance, admit me into the hospital so I didnt have to deal with anything any more, of course that didnt happen. Ive been overwhelmed by everything lately. Thoughts are always in my head about everything. I go from one thought to another to another.

The guy at the shop says my car will probable me totaled. I just got it out of the shop a half hour before the accident, paid $220.00 to get a water pump and fixed my shock that had become loose. I still needed more work done but could not pay to have it done, was going to wait.

I have been seeing a new therapist, I have my 3rd appointment tomorrow. She seems nice and knows what she is doing but I feel like Im in a factory, someone before me and always someone waiting after me. Her office is very narrow and she sits about 10 feet away from me. Im just not sure Im ready to go back to therapy.

I really dont do well with change, since my daughter moved back, it feels like an up hill battle for me. Im not blaming her at all, Im just having a really hard time adjusting to living with someone again.

I hope things get better for you in your transition. (((hugs)))
Thank you for listening to me.
Kate
 
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to lostkate's response:
Hi Kate,

It sounds like you're taking on a lot right now. Can you postpone the classes or is it too late to back out of them? Or take one at a time?

Regarding the exercise... take it slow, in small bits. Walk around while you talk on the phone. Take the stairs instead of an elevator. Park at a bit of a distance from the stores you shop in. I know these don't really feel like exercising, but they are a start. And once you start, it can help with both the stress and motivation.

But, most of all, take care of YOU.

I hope you continue with the therapy. You can take it at whatever pace works for you. (By the way, when I was in therapy it was the same... someone there after me, someone there before me... doesn't really matter as long as when the therapist is with me, they're focused on me.)
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
 
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lostkate replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
Yes, I do have a lot right now. On top of everything going on in my life, yesterday I got into another car accident. My last one was in March. My whole body hurts today, I think the car is totaled. Just what I dont need, right after the accident all I could think about was I wish this accident would have ended it all. Now I have to get a car I really cant afford right now. My car insurance will go up. I just want to crawl under a rock right now.

Im going to call the school tomorrow to see if I can postpone starting classes, I have to take both classes at the same time. One on Mondays the other on Wednesday. They start this Monday and run until the about the first week in December. Right now I dont think I cant handle any thing else.

My exhusband just called and told me he has too many bills and the child support will be late. Then proceeds to tell me all about his expenses. He is such a jerk. I said nothing and just ended the phone call. He still gets to me.

I honestly dont know how to take care of me. I have another session with my new therapist but its too much for me. I am telling her tomorrow I need a break. Im really so tired, confused, frustrated. I dont know who to trust or if my decisions lately are truly mind or people convincing me they are. Im just all over the place lately.
 
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to lostkate's response:
Perhaps you expect too much out of therapy...? What I mean is could you just go there and use as your oasis, not actually work on the big issues but just a release where you can talk out your stress from the week?

I'm wondering if you could screen your calls so calls from your ex goes to voice mail and if you need to call him back, you do so on your own time and keep it short. Sounds like setting some boundaries there may help you.

I hope the school is able to accommodate what you need right now.

Remind yourself to breathe, dear one. Take it one day at a time. You do not have to figure out the rest of your life right now.

You've made some monumental changes in your life lately and you still need to give yourself time to settle into all of that.

Please go easier on yourself. Get through each day. Watch shows that are uplifting or fun. Ignore dark dramas and news for a while (if you aren't already). Listen to fun music instead of darker stuff. Keep a daily gratitude journal. Sometimes we have to routinely remind ourselves of the good things that are there.

And look back on how far you've already come and give yourself a pat on the back for those things. Make a list of big and small items. You left a very unhappy marriage, you missed your daughter so much and now she's with you. You got yourself a place. You are still here, still moving forward. Those are amazing things, Kate.
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
 
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lostkate replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
I really try to look at where I was and how far I have come. The last two years had been a lot of changes, something Im not good at handling. I think Im still trying to catch up to the changes. I say to myself a lot, "Keep moving forward". Its what my old therapist used to say to me all the time. I saw my new therapist for the 3rd time yesterday, I still have mixed feelings about therapy.

Ive decided go through with the classes. If I postpone them I feel I will come up with something else not to take them. I did pay for them and cant get a refund. It will keep me busy and focused, I hope.

Im going to try and relax this weekend, forget about what happen this week and just give myself a break.

Thanks for listening Caprice, you have helped me think about a lot of good things that are in my life.

Hope you have a great weekend.
Kate
 
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to lostkate's response:
I hope you managed to have a restful weekend, Kate. That it gave you a moment to catch your breath.

I've said this before to you, I think... my own divorce and all that came with it was probably the most difficult time in my life (and I've had plenty of hard times otherwise) and it took a while for me to start feeling human again. (((hugs)))
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
 
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lostkate replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
Thanks Caprice for your support, I really appreciate it. I cant wait until I can feel like me again. A new me. This weight is really getting to me, few people have said something about it. I look down and see it, especially my stomach, where I gained back most of it. I need to start walking again, I just cant seem to find the time.
 
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to lostkate's response:
Just remember that it doesn't have to be all or nothing as in 'there's no point in walking around the house since it's not a REAL walk or REALLY exercising'. Every little bit helps.

As with everything else in life, one step at a time.

Hang in there, Kate. You're getting there.
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
~Christopher Robin to Pooh


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