Ok so this is sort of complicated. First of all, I am 28 and have been sort of bulimic since I was 13 or 14. But not consistently (is there such thing as intermittent bulimia?) and had stopped for quite a while. Also, I have depression and a lot of anxiety. I was drinking a LOT for a while and stopped that, when I began dieting this time, because alcohol is fattening. I had started having black stool and vomit I thought from drinking too much. I saw my doc and was prescribed some medication and eventually it felt better, she said I may have had an ulcer. But the black stool and vomit are back, but I haven't been drinking. Can this be caused by throwing up? I don't do it very often. And also, I don't binge. So I guess it isn't really bulimia since I don't ever binge.
I just started a new anti-depressant (Viibryd) and it isn't working. I feel the same. Actually I guess I feel a little better but all I can think about is jumping off a bridge or in front of a train. I am at a total loss about what to do. I am already in therapy but I can't tell her about the throwing up. Or about the thoughts of jumping off something.
So I guess my question is, what now?
Thanks for your Reply!
Be careful with anti depressants. Try to be honest with your therapist. If you cannot say it, then think about other possible ways of communicating the pertinent information to them. I.E. "Since I've been on Viibryd I've been fixating on dark thoughts." I also recommend finding someone who you can feel free speaking freely to about throwing up or jumping off of something. There are a lot of great anonymous crisis hotlines, one may help you feel safe enough to speak. If all else fails please dial 911, before getting to the point of hurting yourself.
I hope the responses to your post here were helpful to you in reaching understanding that you need medical attention now. What you're describing indicates your health is at immediate risk, whether the current symptoms are caused by your ED or not.
And as the previous responder said, be honest with your therapist and doctor about all of it.
Help is out there for you. Please get it as soon as possible. And I hope you'll let us know how you're doing.
Finally, if you ever need help keeping yourself safe, please call a crisis line and let them help you.
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. ~Christopher Robin to Pooh
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