Skip to content


    Exciting News for WebMD Members!

    We've been busy behind the scenes building new message boards for you. You'll have new and easier ways to find messages, connect with others, and share your stories.

    And, this will all be available on your smartphone or other mobile device!

    What Do You Need to Do?

    The message board you're used to will be closing in the coming weeks. While many of your boards will be making the move to our new home, your posts will not. Want to keep a discussion going? Save posts you want to continue (this includes your member profile story), so that you can re-post them in the new message boards.

    Keep an eye here and on your email inbox, we'll be back in touch soon to give you all the information you need!

    Yours in health,
    WebMD Message Boards Management

    How did I ever get here?
    arrrtttee posted:
    I apologize for creating a topic all for myself, but I decided to finally take the plunge and address something I have been ignoring for a while now and I'm not sure what else to do. Incoming text wall:

    I am a 19 year old female undergrad. As a child, I was skinny and boyish and was raised to place high value on my intelligence and kindness rather than my physical appearance. Yet as I grew older, I became socially isolated, lonely, morose and depressive. While this went on for years, I began to notice that while I was exceeding in my academics (I was able to drop out of high school two years ahead of schedule to enter into a major public university), I never really felt good in my own skin

    Last year, I decided to move on campus rather that commute to classes everyday. This turned out to be a tremendous mistake. Unable to connect with my dorm-mates, I ate my meals alone in my single room, made not a single friend, and rapidly began to lose touch with reality. Making basic decisions became an effort, and I lost weight due to my inability to make clear decisions regarding leaving my desk to feed myself. After a narrowly avoided suicide attempt, I returned home. My depression seemed to lessen and my rational mind returned, yet I began to become increasingly preoccupied with my physicality.

    Over the summer I chose to alter my diet, cutting out sweets and fats. I began to work out and was impressed with how I was able to shape myself to suit my ideals. I then cut out meats, then carbs and starchy foods. My weight continued to drop, but the exercise had toned my body so I figured this was natural. But once classes started up again, I had significantly less time to focus on my health as I was devoting 100% of my energy to studies. It was then that I decided to begin seriously cutting my food intake to infrequent snacks of raw fruit or veggies and black coffee. After only a month or two of this behavior, I have been hit with painful throat infections, avoided contact with those few friends I have, feel cold all the time, ceased menstruating, and have to constantly push aside thoughts that I am dying. Despite being 5 ft 7 in and dropping to 110 pounds, I weigh myself obsessively throughout the day, lift my shirt to examine my abdomen. When don't like what I see, I dig my finger nails into the skin around my navel until I fear it will bleed.

    I am a smart, supposedly empowered young woman, yet I have fallen into this trap I never saw coming. I want help, but the thought of giving over the reins to someone else terrifies and shames me. Again, I apologize for the extremely self-indulgent use of space.
    Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
    Hi Arrrtttee,

    Thank you for introducing yourself to the community here. I hope that others here will be sharing their support and insight and suggestions.

    Posting here was a good first step.
    You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
    ~Christopher Robin to Pooh
    Jules3696 responded:
    Hi and Welcome,
    Unfortunately I don't have any answers for you but I am happy to listen. I hope some others will write and provide something more, but I wanted to let you know that we care.
    lostkate responded:
    Hi and Welcome,
    Your not self-indulgent, you are looking for help, just like rest of us. You have a lot going on. I know how hard it to talk to someone about what is going on but it may help you. Right now Im going through some stuff that I dont feel right in my own skin. I had loss weight, felt really good, then all of sudden within two months I look in the mirror and the weight is back on again. I hate the way I look and feel, struggling with what to do about it.

    If you dont want to go talk to a therapist, at least go for a check up make sure everything physical is ok.

    I wish I had more words to help, your not alone.
    Gracie_Smiles responded:
    I hope that you are finding the help that you need. How are you feeling these days?
    Celebrate each victory and forgive yourself for setbacks.
    Be as nice to yourself as you are to other people!

    Spotlight: Member Stories

    Helpful Tips

    How to increase Font Size
    Hold down the Ctrl key and the plus sign key at the same time. Do this as many times as you need until you get to a font size that works ... More
    Was this Helpful?
    11 of 21 found this helpful

    Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

    FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.