I haven't fessed up yet. I REALLY don't want to. But for the third month in a row I've went through more than 3/4 of my food allotment (I get food stamps, $200 a month) in two weeks. I've got just under $30 to see me through the next two weeks. This is the most out of control things have ever been for me and I really cannot keep on this way because the no money/no food thing just adds to any amount of distress I am already experiencing and frankly, I'm going nuts (though technically I guess I'm already there, heh).
So I don't want to fess up (and my timing could be better... I was just awarded social security -which brings with it it's own mess and such- but it won't kick in till next month so right now my medical and such is still crap) but I've got to... but along with being totally embarrassed by it I'm sort of scared spit-less because I don't know what to expect... I've read the 'what to expect at your appointment' things but I don't know what to expect AFTER...
Im not really sure what to say, I have that problem a lot but will try. Can you split your food money, take half and put it away some where so its not readily available. Im not sure what kind of appointment you mean. I wish I could help more. Today is not a good day for me.
I have that problem a lot too so I understand. I am sorry today is not a good day for you
Thanks for the idea but I cannot figure out how to make my food money less accessible to me. What with debit cards and such it's so easy to get to your money any more isn't it?
What kind of appointment I meant... I meant the 'there's something wrong here as far as my eating habits ar concerned' appointment, if that makes sense, lol. Actually I'm afraid I am rather closer to that appointment than I want to be because the BHC (behavioral health consultant) I see at my doctors office said today that he has noticed over the last few appointments that I have been losing weight and by the end of the appointment I was asked to make an appointment with one of the doctors and to see him (the BHC) again 'soon', which I am assuming means I am not supposed to wait the two weeks I usually do between appointments... so maybe I'll wait a week, heh... might put the doctors appointment off that long too... Seriously I want to cry just thinking about it
Anyway I guess what I was asking was for some idea about what happens 'after'... but thinking about it now that's probably not so easily answered... sorry >.<
Thanks for your answer Kat I hope your day gets better
how do you feel about your weight? I would guess since the doctor said something you were at a low weight before you lost. I know how fessing up to things can be, I had not seen my therapist for about a month, I knew I lost a lot of weight and was so afriad to see her. When I walked in I could see it on her face, I acted like nothing was wrong. When it comes to weight its really hard to hide it. I have gain back most of that weight and its driving me crazy. I dont want to gain it all back, Im trying really hard to gain anymore but I really want to stop eatting and lose what I have gain. Its a struggle I will have to lived with for the rest of my life. You just need to do it in a healthy way, which I have a tendency not too.
btw, I love your profile pic, Im always putting a mask on, emotionally. I hope things get better for you. Kate
No, I'm not even underweight, I don't get it! I'm not even really close... no surprise since I am diagnosable as bulimic and they tend to be within the normal to overweight range (I am NOT overweight though I have been in the past). It has been fluctuating a bit the past month or so and this past two week period between appointments I did lose rather more than is considered healthy for that amount of time *shrug*. Anyway at first I would say that it is not the number for me it's just the FAT; I wouldn't mind being this weight if it were not for all the fat that is still hanging out (of course I wouldn't mind weighing a little less either but hey, whatever). I get so tired of people telling me I don't need to lose any more weight or that I shouldn't. I mean what the hell do they know? It's like I've told my mom several times before, I have to see this body naked, they don't. How can they know when I shouldn't be losing any more weight?? The number does bother me though, I desperately don't want to gain any of it back and if I have to start eating right that is exactly what will happen.
*shakes head* never mind I'm just rambling. Stupid presidents day means I've got to stress about it for two more days... and there's no food in the house which is 'good' on one hand and bad on the other because so cannot do the binge and purge thing... which is also good but you know, GAH!
Dont be sorry, we all ramble on here, its good to get it out.
I had lost a lot of weight, I had a lot of people ask me if I was sick and what did I do to loss it. Recently I have gained a good amount back. Im not concerned with the number but I gained it all around my stomach and for me its very noticeably, its driving me crazy. Who am I kidding, the number really bothers, a lot. Im becoming obsessed over it. I have to go food shopping today and I dont want to go, I would rather have no food in house. Now Im stop rambling.
Sorry you have to wait so long, try to do something to distract you from thinking about it. I know that is easy to write but hard to do.
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