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besmith75 posted:
Hello everyone! I am new to these boards. I have battled with ED most of my life in the forms of both anorexia and bulimia. My mother was 4' 11" and 90lbs. I wasn't. I was never fat...but maybe what you would call 'chunky' and back then I don't think people realized that 'teasing' your children could actually emotionally harm them. Here I am at 36 years old...and the battle is worse than ever. So, to the point: We had a potluck luncheon at work today. It was quite the spread. I am a strict vegetarian (for multiple reasons...but sickly enough it gets me out of eating in front of people) but even a vegetarian can find SOMETHING to eat at a luncheon, right? I spent over an hour with a full plate in front of me (I kept refilling it...trust me...I ate my fair share) and AS I'm eating...literally AS I'm chewing and swallowing (talking and laughing with co-workers) not only am I experiencing extreme self loathing for eating so much, all I can think of is going home to purge (which I did). Does anyone else actually plan out the purging while they are eating and having a good time? I've never really talked to anyone about my ED so I'm unsure...
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