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Moving Away, Gods Plan and Guilt
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Michelle3Kristin posted:

I'm 22 and I have lived in the same town my entire life. I wanted to move away right after high school for college but my eating disorder was very severe at that time and it just wasn't a good idea. So I moved out 2 weeks after high school graduation into an apartment. I've been attending school here for the past four years but I am so unhappy here. Despite being in college for 4 hours I still have 2 years left in school… I have outgrown the area and I need a change. My eating disorder is much more stable now. I had not even considered moving for a few years now and I finally started reading my bible again about a month ago and the first thing I read was about moving. Well I've continued to do quiet time and every time I get freaked out about it my quiet time reassures moving. I started looking and things are falling together.


I found a school with the degree I need at night (I like night school far better than regular college), and I would graduate about the same time. I applied and the application fee got waived due to technical issues. I got accepted and approved for financial aid. I've also found a good area to live in with lots of opportunities- good shopping, snow, skiing, softball (my passion), and an excellent eating disorder program nearby with opportunity for more extensive treatment. I also have a potential job opportunity in the works (nothing for sure but maybe). I REALLY want to move, I've wanted to move for 10 years and this is the only other place I would ever consider living.


Things are falling into place but I still have to talk to my parents since they still help support me (barely though). I feel so guilty for want to leave them, and wanting to live 15 hours away. I think it would be healthy for me to move away and it wouldn't be easy but I would be happy there. Is it wrong for me to want to live my own life even though it will hurt my family? My family is very close knit and I love them with all my heart but I am so unhappy here… The thought of staying here makes me so sad and it feels like I will flunk out of school. I feel SO guilty about moving though… I would come back as often as possible and talk to them often. Reassurance? Anyone?
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besmith75 responded:
Hi Michelle!
You need to do what's best for you. As a mother, I can tell you that it will be hard to see my own children leave (my oldest son is just finishing his junior year of high school and is talking about leaving state for college after he graduates), but I need to let him do what's right for him. His happiness is my happiness. Your family will be hurt at first...but your happiness is what will help to heal that 'hurt'. Of course you will feel a little bit of guilt, that's human nature, but you can't stay in an unhappy situation due to guilt alone. You sound like a very strong person who knows what she wants. Use that. As a child, when people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up I always said 'happy'. I got some funny looks because I didn't want to be a lawyer, doctor, or princess...but I was being honest. So be happy. I once lived 3,000 miles away from my family...and although we missed each other terribly...it's what I needed to do. I know that I'm just some random person on a discussion board...but I believe in you. I think that you need to do what's right by you. Make peace with your decision and live your life for you. I wish you nothing but the best. You were strong enough to tell us your story...you're strong enough to make this change.

B


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