Hi! I'm new! My name is Elizabeth. I was bulimic. I am no longer purging. I haven't in about five months and I am eating normal.... But I am always struggling with the thoughts. Always thinking.. Is this going to make me gain weight? Should I throw this up? I just want to know.. will i ever get to a point where I'm not struggling with the thoughts or urges? Is it possible to be completely free from this?
You can find harmony in your eating and weight. I am not going to say it will happen overnight and that there won't be a bunch of trial an error but it can be achieved. Be sympathetic towards your body. If there are 5lbs this way or that do not fret. The big things to do is to eat healthy foods and let hem pass naturally. When you system has regained the rhythm you can then slightly modify the calorie count. I will note that even after years there may be "trigger" foods that you should avoid for your own sanity.
If it is I haven't figured it out yet. In my head having an ED is a lot like being an alcoholic, even if you don't have a drink for 20 years you are still an alcoholic and just one sip can cause a relapse. I'm 10 years post ED and i still have issues with food. I enjoy food and definitely get my daily calorie needs, but i still have issues with certain foods and eating in front of other people. I think at the end of the day it depends on the person as to how long/successful the recovery is.
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