I have been experiencing an unhealthy and odd relationship with food. I got in the habit of eating dinner only a little over a year ago because of a work schedule. I went from 130 to 112 over the year. I didn't have much of an appetite when my work schedule became more flexible so I just kept eating dinner only. When I realized I had dropped down to 112- I'm 5'6" by the way- I was surprised and alarmed. I wanted to increase my calorie intake in hopes that I would start to have an appetite during the day. I started having a really high fat milkshake every morning for about three weeks in an attempt to put weight on quickly, and to make my body get used to having calories; I gained 8 lbs. I stopped the high-fat milk shakes when I got to 118 lbs and have made myself eat baked oatmeal as a lunch for a couple of weeks and have gotten to 120 lbs. I thought I would be happy when I got to my ideal weight of 120 lbs but I'm not. I feel fat and ugly. This did not start out being about body weight or image but it is definitley careening that way quickly. I am looking for a low-fat oatmeal bake and thinking of eating it only three times a week plus a healthy dinner every night. I was happy at 118 lbs but the extra two pounds is making me have really unhealthy thinking. I never tried to starve myself before but I am having thoughts of doing so currently. This is alarming for me. My weight has varied a lot through out adulthood because some medicines I take supress my appetite while others are known to cause weight gain. I am educated about eating healthy food but lack the financial resources and time to eat healthfully, at least that's what I tell myself. I kind of feel like why spend money and time on food when I'm not hungry? After weighing in today at 120 I kind of feel like I shouldn't spend my money and time on food because it will make me fat. I've never had this kind of relationship with food. I'd really like some advice on how I could look at things differently.
I think 120 pounds is very thin for 5' 6". I'm sure you are not fat. If you eat healthy and exercise when you are feeling bad, it will help. Exercising releases endorphins that make you feel good. If you are not very athletic, try yoga, it is a good workout and it's also relaxing. If you eat less, your metabolism will slow down and you will be more apt to gain weight. It's best to eat often throughout the day. I think you need something else to take your mind off of the food. I hope you can find a new hobby to help you!
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