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Need Advice *possible trigger*
Eloise0613 posted:
I think I have an eating disorder, and nobody knows. I am tall and hide weight gain and loss easily to begin with, so I think I can get away with it. I think I may have developed an eating disorder because I have no control over most of my life. I already have Ulcerative Colitis, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Depression with Anxiety. My job sucks, I am alone in a new state, and i have no friends. I think controlling what doesn't go into my body is my way of having self-control.
I don't know what to do about this. Part of me wants to get better, but the other part of me that deals with the horrible physical pain of UC and CFS, as well as the mental pain of Depression and Anxiety just wants to waste away to nothing and die. I think about my own death all the time. In fact, I pray every night that I don't wake up in the morning. My life is unbearable and I just don't know what to do...advice?
Oopsla responded:
Speaking from personal experience. The less you eat the more depressed and anxious you will become. I understand the control factor. Why do you not try the love factor? Why can you not try to love yourself and who you are?
Many many times I go to sleep telling myself I am ok that I love myself I love myself when the world's stress gets to me or my reactions to it.
I too moved. It is very very hard. I feel your pain in that. Are you able to converse with people in your area/job?
Eloise0613 replied to Oopsla's response:
Thanks for the advice. I am a teacher, so yes, there are people at my job, but they are kids, and as for fellow co-workers, I want them to like me because I am the new person, so I can't tell them any of this stuff.
Oopsla replied to Eloise0613's response:
Oh no. I was no suggesting to open up to them. I was saying that you are a least in a position to make new friends. Building a few people to do stuff with will help you. Keep your problems to doctors, here, and possibly family. Others do not need to know your business.

Reach out and meet people. Maybe have a gathering? Fixing yourself should really be done by you and you yourself. Things that help are doctors, books, people with the same issues. Without you wanting to better yourself nothing I or anybody else will help. It is not to say that they may give you the right spark. What sparks in your life? What makes you happy?
Fanci7 responded:
Why don't you contact the local hospital or health care agency and ask them if there are any support groups for your conditions.
Joining a support group will open new people and possible friendships, and help you realize you are not alone.

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