I have always been fat since I was little... I remember when I was 4 months old and went for a check up it showed I was over weight. For years I battled loosing weight... and I never accomplished anything.
When I turned 11 years old (during the summer), I lost 40lbs, gained it all back. When I was 12 years old again during the summer I lost about 30-40lbs. Then from 12-13 I stayed on a small diet... and just did not exersize much... I stayed the same weight. When I turned 14-15 everything got out of control and I gained 50lbs... if not more. Around last year in December-ish I looked my self in the mirror is discus... I started an extreme weight loss diet.... to the point of no return. I lost 45lbs in one month... and continued from their.
Within 5-6 months, I lost so much weight.... but I was not health at-all. It effected my health so much. I would not eat and If I did eat I would fell so much guilt for eating a crumb... it got so bad that I would weigh self just to fell guilty for anything. I would wake up in the middle of the night to run several for hours. Eventually it stopped and now somewhat returned to normal. I had to realize that this is getting out of hand.Now I have a new problem.... still battling to lose weight. I now Binge and then go on a serious weight loss. Only to gain everything back... for 1 day of bindging... I don't know what to do... or how to solve this problem.
I tend to lose 14lbs in a week! For 3hrs of running daily and not eating anything except (maybe) a protein bar. And then I gain 20lbs.... so its worthless....
I used to eat food when I was stressed.... not I do both... and its getting very bad.
The catch phrase you hear these days is i is a "lifestyle" change rather then a diet or what have you. You have to change the way you live or you will continually bounce back and forth.
That said, I would say a few things. Tons of exercise with little food dooms you to failure. I do not care how resolute you are you will eventually break. The key to most things in life is moderation and commitment. Follow the tortoise rather then the hare approach to life.
Be well. think well. forgive yourself. accept yourself.
I just don't know how to stop yo yoing back and forth.
It does not help their is constant carbs, candy, etc - were I live. And when I say not to buy it they buy it anyways.
My other problems are depression and anxiety. I used. To binge when depressed till I started just starving my self.... mostly out if punishment.
I don't ever eat breakfast..... and honestly its mostly because I'm to lazy/don't have time in the morning to eat. I don't eat lunch because I fell embarrassed to eat. I eat dinner sometimes... but most the time I unconsciously eat in my sleep... or so I've been told.... so I dont know what to do.
No one likes a fat person.... guys don't. So yes I want to loose weight for health but I'd be lying if I say that's the only reason.... because I do want a bf.... and I need to loose weight....
Yo yoing or I call it the seesawing. At some point you have to get off it. When you do. The things you tell yourself on an hourly schedule is that you love yourself. Hide the scales and mirrors. You need to put distance between you and the yo yoing. Do not concentrate on your weight. Think about you and being happy, about doing stuff. Enjoying your life as best as you can.
I am not going to go ino dieting and all of that. I can only talk about keeping your emotions and emotional eating in check. Learning to love yourself goes a long way.
Of course you want to be loved, find a man. The biggest step would be to get of the seesaw and accept yourself. You are not helping your dating potential by starving/binging and being on a roller coaster. But even if you are still yo yoing don't get down.
You need breakfast. Make it the night before. Part of yor trouble might be that you are not keeping your energy level in you. Too long without food even if a few hours you may have the tendency to eat more or in your sleep.
When I was getting past my seesaw I ate tiny amounts of nuts/raisins each hour. I stayed away from anything too sugary to stay away from crashing.
I am pretty much babbling right now as work has me pinned down and I cannot concentrate.
Believe in yourself. You weight is not the issue. It is you believing you are not good enough. You are.
Constant denial of food or foods you crave will lead to your yo-yoing. Seek help. That is very important. You have an eating disorder and need help to overcome it. Talk to your family doctor and see if they can refer you to a counselor or clinic that specializes in eating disorders. If possible see a dietician or nutritionist. They will be able to help you set up a meal plan that will put you at a healthy weight. They will help you choose foods that provide good nutrition and even how to have those food temptations if you want them. The human body can not get the vitamins and minerals it needs to stay healthy at diets below 1200 calories. Start taking a multi vitamin.. Seek help. Do not let this disease (eating disorder) take away your life. Life is to short to be caught up in an eating disorder. 1 out of 9 women who get caught up in an eating disorder die from it. Anorexics starve until their internal organs shut down. The ones who survive have all sorts of medical problems.. Because starving does kidney damage, liver damage, heart damage, etc. Bulimia is similar with the internal damage but, with bulimia you can have a sudden stomach or esophageal rupture and die hanging over a toilet. Beating this disorder is very important. Seek help.
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