Endometriosis
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Endo/Cysts/Emotions
An_248238 posted:
I was recently diagnosed with ovarian cysts and possible endometriosis. My doctor started me on birth control and I had a severe reaction to it after about the first two weeks. Migraines/pain/nausea/appetite. It put me in the ER and then in bed for a week straight. I have since stopped the birth control and feel much better, but the pain is back. I'm nervous/scared to schedule my laproscopy because I've never had surgery and I'm afraid of what they might find. I've been dealing with my pain for a few years now and it has taken a toll on my boyfriend, as well. We have been together for eight years, the last three of which I've been quietly dealing with the pain. He is doing his best to be supportive but I can't do anything without having to hear, "If you can do that for yourself, why can't you schedule your surgery for us." He thinks that I don't want it to get better. But I'm so afraid of hearing more bad news from the doctor, that I try to ignore it and hope it just goes away. After another terrible argument this morning, I finally called my doctor to find out what I need to do to get the lap scheduled and am now waiting on a call back. I just don't know what I can do to help him understand that this is not only about the physical pain for me. The emotional pain that I'm dealing with seems far worse. He has three kids from a previous marraige and I don't have any. I fear that I will never get to have that same feeling that he feels for his kids. That someone who can give him more kids of his own will come along. I always think that there are a billion other women out there who don't have these issues and that alone is more appealing than someone with the medical baggage I seem to have accumulated over the last few years. Does anyone have any words of wisdom for me? I just want him to understand the fears I deal with emotionally. I know that the best thing I can do is continue to see the doctor. That he is the only person that can set my mind at ease about what is or is not going on with my body, but I'm scared. What can I do to overcome that?
1 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:Endo/Cysts/EmotionsI was recently diagnosed with ovarian cysts and possible endometriosis. My doctor started me on birth control and I had a severe reaction to it after about the first two weeks. Migraines/pain/nausea/appetite. It put me in the ER and then in bed for a week straight. I have since stopped the birth control and feel much better, but the pain is back. I'm nervous/scared to schedule my laproscopy because I've never had surgery and I'm afraid of what they might find. I've been dealing with my pain for a few years now and it has taken a toll on my boyfriend, as well. We have been together for eight years, the last three of which I've been quietly dealing with the pain. He is doing his best to be supportive but I can't do anything without having to hear, "If you can do that for yourself, why can't you schedule your surgery for us." He thinks that I don't want it to get better. But I'm so afraid of hearing more bad news from the doctor, that I try to ignore it and hope it just goes away. After another terrible argument this morning, I finally called my doctor to find out what I need to do to get the lap scheduled and am now waiting on a call back. I just don't know what I can do to help him understand that this is not only about the physical pain for me. The emotional pain that I'm dealing with seems far worse. He has three kids from a previous marraige and I don't have any. I fear that I will never get to have that same feeling that he feels for his kids. That someone who can give him more kids of his own will come along. I always think that there are a billion other women out there who don't have these issues and that alone is more appealing than someone with the medical baggage I seem to have accumulated over the last few years. Does anyone have any words of wisdom for me? I just want him to understand the fears I deal with emotionally. I know that the best thing I can do is continue to see the doctor. That he is the only person that can set my mind at ease about what is or is not going on with my body, but I'm scared. What can I do to overcome that?
brandib01 responded:
first i always say endo is not a no baby diagnosis. there are many women who have endo that have children heck they say most women have some form of it but are never in enough pain to ever think anything is wrong.
and i know eactly how you feel. my first lap was my first surgery and i had all the same concerns. you just have to tell yourself you are doing it to get better. my suggestion is ask your doc as many wuestions as you can. be your own advocate.
find out if he is only doing exploratory surgery or if he has a plan of attack if he gets in there and actually finds adhesions?
how does he plan on removing them? burning hich is the most effective or cutting?
will he be able to supply you a copy of the surgical photos and records?
does he video tape his surgery? if so can you have a copy?
how long your recovery time is?
note there are some before and after lap helpful hints under the tips section on the right hand side of this forum.and feel free to ask.
how he handles the excess gas because they inflate your abdomen to look around? does he let it naturally release which it will or does he go out of his way to get as much out prior to closing?
if he finds alot on say your ovaries make sure he know expressively that you do want children so to take all measures in trying to ensure that is still a possibilty post op.
also get with your boyfriend and decide when and if you want children together. if so the best time to try is right after you finish healing from the lap because it is when you insides are the "cleanest" if not make sure your doc has a birth control plan to try and keep it from coming back as fast.
like i said i know it seems like alot but the only way you will be calmer is if you feel completely informed and know what is going on with your body. and rememebr that if you start to feel like a pest to your doctor. he is YOUR doctor you are paying him to provide a service for you and it is your future and your health in question and if he isn't cooperative and can't answer what should be those simple wuestions than he is not the right doctor for you.
i hope this helps some. and also for your boyfriend there is an endo letter on here somewhere i think if you search the discussion on this forum it should be posted. let your bf read it. it really is a little insite as to what we go through daily that most people don't realize/
and i know eactly how you feel. my first lap was my first surgery and i had all the same concerns. you just have to tell yourself you are doing it to get better. my suggestion is ask your doc as many wuestions as you can. be your own advocate.
find out if he is only doing exploratory surgery or if he has a plan of attack if he gets in there and actually finds adhesions?
how does he plan on removing them? burning hich is the most effective or cutting?
will he be able to supply you a copy of the surgical photos and records?
does he video tape his surgery? if so can you have a copy?
how long your recovery time is?
note there are some before and after lap helpful hints under the tips section on the right hand side of this forum.and feel free to ask.
how he handles the excess gas because they inflate your abdomen to look around? does he let it naturally release which it will or does he go out of his way to get as much out prior to closing?
if he finds alot on say your ovaries make sure he know expressively that you do want children so to take all measures in trying to ensure that is still a possibilty post op.
also get with your boyfriend and decide when and if you want children together. if so the best time to try is right after you finish healing from the lap because it is when you insides are the "cleanest" if not make sure your doc has a birth control plan to try and keep it from coming back as fast.
like i said i know it seems like alot but the only way you will be calmer is if you feel completely informed and know what is going on with your body. and rememebr that if you start to feel like a pest to your doctor. he is YOUR doctor you are paying him to provide a service for you and it is your future and your health in question and if he isn't cooperative and can't answer what should be those simple wuestions than he is not the right doctor for you.
i hope this helps some. and also for your boyfriend there is an endo letter on here somewhere i think if you search the discussion on this forum it should be posted. let your bf read it. it really is a little insite as to what we go through daily that most people don't realize/
Brandi 28dx'ed.endo lap 09'
Report This| Share this:Endo/Cysts/Emotionsfirst i always say endo is not a no baby diagnosis. there are many women who have endo that have children heck they say most women have some form of it but are never in enough pain to ever think anything is wrong.<br /> <br />and i know eactly how you feel. my first lap was my first surgery and i had all the same concerns. you just have to tell yourself you are doing it to get better. my suggestion is ask your doc as many wuestions as you can. be your own advocate.<br />find out if he is only doing exploratory surgery or if he has a plan of attack if he gets in there and actually finds adhesions?<br />how does he plan on removing them? burning hich is the most effective or cutting?<br />will he be able to supply you a copy of the surgical photos and records?<br />does he video tape his surgery? if so can you have a copy?<br />how long your recovery time is?<br />note there are some before and after lap helpful hints under the tips section on the right hand side of this forum.and feel free to ask.<br />how he handles the excess gas because they inflate your abdomen to look around? does he let it naturally release which it will or does he go out of his way to get as much out prior to closing?<br />if he finds alot on say your ovaries make sure he know expressively that you do want children so to take all measures in trying to ensure that is still a possibilty post op.<br />also get with your boyfriend and decide when and if you want children together. if so the best time to try is right after you finish healing from the lap because it is when you insides are the "cleanest" if not make sure your doc has a birth control plan to try and keep it from coming back as fast.<br /> <br />like i said i know it seems like alot but the only way you will be calmer is if you feel completely informed and know what is going on with your body. and rememebr that if you start to feel like a pest to your doctor. he is YOUR doctor you are paying him to provide a service for you and it is your future and your health in question and if he isn't cooperative and can't answer what should be those simple wuestions than he is not the right doctor for you.<br />i hope this helps some. and also for your boyfriend there is an endo letter on here somewhere i think if you search the discussion on this forum it should be posted. let your bf read it. it really is a little insite as to what we go through daily that most people don't realize/
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