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Husband denies seizures
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amyrmca posted:
I'm back lol. I got married August 4th and to be honest his seizures come and go. He went almost all week without one but this morning he had one, actually 2. When I tell him he has one he denies it. Why is he denying it? He admits something is wrong and that he has epilepsy and seizures but when when I tell him he had one he denies it. He acts like I am over reacting. He acts as if I'm seeing things or being overly sensitive. Maybe I am but when he has one his body shakes, he moans, grinds his teeth, and has his hands in fists. Why is he denying it? Am I overreacting? Any advice? I was told to video tape it but I don't know it's a good idea, I don't want to upset him. Please help.
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dancer86442 responded:
Hello Amy,

First: CONGRATULATIONS! WHOOHOO! I wish Both of you & Long & Loving Relationship. Never go to bed Angry at Him!

OK, Hubby sounds like he is in 'denial'. Not uncommon & to be expected considering the way his Mom is/was. Yes, seizures do not discriminate w/ Timing. He could go a Mth & More w/out activity. So, what do you do? Don't tell him Every time he has 1. Time it, follow Seizure 1st Aide procedure & Then write everything down. You Can tell him you are keeping a Journal, but, Stress that it is for your 'peace of mind' & that what you witness & how often will Help! Him & his DRS! I would ask him to keep 1, too, of anything that isn't 'norm' for him. He doesn't want to? Fine, you continue w/ yours! Go ahead & Record him. He won't know & he doesn't to Know or Have to see it. But, his DRS will be very Interested!

You are Now Officially his Caretaker! You are not Over-reacting! He just doesn't want to be Told! But, What you witness & record will be Valuable Info for his DRS. Remain Supportive! Continue to treat him as a 'normal' person. It's what he wants! It's what he Needs. It will take Time, but, you ain't his Mom & he will Love you More for That!

HMMM? Any Support Groups in your area? Chek efa.org They will provide you w/ your State EFA Info & you can call to inquire about Groups near you.

Is he on Medications? I'm sure you told me B4. But, be sure he is taking them Same Time Everyday! Introduce him to Juicies, too. Google for Recipes. Basically a Blender & Fresh veggies & Fruit. A new recipe I read today deals w/ Toxicity of meds. And the effect meds can have on our systems. Once a Day. Purple Juicy. They Taste Great! Juicies are helpful for lots of illnesses/disorders. And the foods/additives used are Good for You & Him! Mix 1 for yourself & ask him to Try it. Don't tell him Why! Just Try! If you have problems locating more Info. Let me know. I will share a Ladies Blog/recipe about the Purple Juicy. http://ow.ly/1OtAv3 ENJOY!
 
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saxofone1 responded:
Hi Amy,

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! I wish you and hubby the best!

For sure, denial makes for difficult treatment. And it is hard on everyone involved(hubby, med team, you...).

As I got older, I certainly didn't tell my mother about each one I had. Though I was never in denial. Many times my mother had your hubby's mother approach. She was over-protective. And it drove me crazy!!!! Could it be that your hubby doesn't want to tell you because of how his mom behaved?

Isn't this hubby's first time of living away from his mom? This 'denial peroid' that he is now showing could be his way of saying "I can handle this alone."

Maybe he needs an adjustment period having lived in a 'prison' for so long. He is now in a loved enviroment where he is free to do what he feels he is able to do. He can finally exhale. BIG ADJUSTMENT. Oh, how I remember my first place alone.

I don't believe you're over-reacting but staying on the alert. It probably has become 2nd nature to you just as his seizures might be second nature to him.

Candi, I love your ideas. You always offer love and support with such strength and sincerity.

Amy, a friend of mine was asking about you this past week. I'm sure she would want to send you her best wishes also. So from my dear friend in Mpls, 'CONGRATULATIONS!!!'

I hope this message finds you with a smile on your face. Best to the hubby too. You have overcome an important battle, being his mother. Continue to love each other.
\
angie
 
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dancer86442 replied to saxofone1's response:
Thank You Angie, 20yrs of determination to learn & Lots of PPL sharing ideas. Now, it just comes 'natural'. You ain't so bad yourself! You share & care. It is what We are about! Rite?

New Epilepsy Motto: Stay Strong! Well, that applies to Everyone, but, for PPL w/ EP & their Caretakers, It Is A Must! But, you Have to Find Ways to gain strength & maintain it! Being here, in Epland, has Made Me a Lot Stronger!
 
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clarinet2 responded:
Amy,
A happy late congratulations to you. After what you wrote I have come to the same conclusion that Angie had for you.

Also the average man does not always want to discuss activities the same way women do. Your husband is now in a new life and if you can watch closely to exactly what happens during the seizure and document it.

Keep the journal and hopefully sooner or later your husband will relax and will be able to discuss stuff like this openly and with less denial.

Congratulations with your new life together.

Dana


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