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My heart is broken and I'm so worried about my husband
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amyrmca posted:
I'm sorry if this makes no sense. I've extremely devastated and worried about him. I"m not sure any of you know what to do but at this point I"m reaching out to everyone. Any advice or help is very much appreciated. Right now I feel like my heart is crushed.
About a month and a half ago my husband had a seizure at work and my mother in law, who hates me, decided to take him home because she thinks no one else can take care of him like she can.
As the weeks went by it got to the point where she was isolating him from me. Then she started to isolate him from everyone. She has taken over his phone, the apartment lease, and won't let him leave. He isn't able to drive for 6 months so he is stuck there. He has told me a few times that he wants to leave but as soon as she finds out she says he doesn't know what he wants. Basically, if he agrees with her he is okay and if he says he wants to leave then he is in and out of seizures. The last time anyone saw or heard from him was 2 weeks ago and I was told he looked like crap. They said his eyes were sunken in, he looked really thin and he acted like he was being over medicated. I also know he is being threatened. She threatened me saying that if I came to get him she would have the authority to protect her family, she is speaking of gun laws that were passed. She has threatened to have him arrested if he ends up missing because she said she will tell them he is driving. She told me a week ago that he was in and out of seizures and didn't know who he was or where he was and that the doctor was having to be called. Then two days later he asked me to come get him. When I asked when he wanted me to come get him I never got a reply back.
I'm very worried about him and I'm scared for him. At this point I"m not sure how he is. I don't know what to do.
I know this is an epilepsy group but I was hoping some of you had some advice.
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dancer86442 responded:
AMY,

You Know & I Know that this is Not Right! You Are His Wife! His Mother is No Longer his 'Legal Guardian'! Go get your Husband! Visit the Court House on the way home & get a Restraining Order placed on the Woman! Go to Human Resources & ask about other Help you Should be able to get for him! Amy, are you on Facebook? If so, look for me! Jeanne Phelps! I know someone who may have More Advice for you! If not, let me know & I will ask him to join our community, here!

Blasted Old Woman! If he is having seizures then Of Course he is confused as to who he is or where he is! But, she is holding him Against his Will. You know what? Call the Police! Explain that you were threatened & Ask for an Escort to go get him! No need to ask your Hubby When! Just go! He Is Your Hubby! Please Amy, this is the Only Way to Help your Husband at this time!

Love Candi
 
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dancer86442 replied to dancer86442's response:
Another Suggestion: When you get Hubby back, call his place of employment & have her name Removed as Emergency Contact! Please, visit Family assistance at your Human Resources Center to get More Ideas/Help!

Love Candi
 
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dancer86442 replied to dancer86442's response:
Clik on my Id or Profile pic. My email address is posted. Contact me, please!
 
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dancer86442 replied to dancer86442's response:
Amy, Do you know which DR Mom called? Call that DRs Office & see if he was seen or when his appt is! Take the Police with you & be there for his Appt!! If it is too Late for that, then take the Police to her house. Reclaim your Hubby & follow thru on the Restraining Order! What she is doing is Illegal! She is, in my Opinion: Endangering the Welfare of another Human Being! Plus, she Threatened You. Do not forget to tell the Police That! Stand Up & Take Action for your Hubby! Don't be scared! Get Mad & Fight!

Love Candi
 
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saxofone1 replied to dancer86442's response:
Hi Amy,

I agree with Candi!!!! This is totally wrong, selfish, ridiculous, as well as dangerous to you and your hubby.

Yes, this is an ep support group. But it is not only for those of us who have ep. We are here for the family and friends as well.

Do your best to follow through with Candi's suggestions. The stress he is under being kept captive very likely caused the seizures that he has experienced.

Hang in there the best you can. Sounds like you are the only logical/sensible thinking person in your husband's life.

Do keep us posted. We share your concerns.

angie
 
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clarinet2 replied to saxofone1's response:
Amy, I agree 100% with Candi and Angie.
Your husband's mother is a threat to your husband, you and herself. Mother in law need psychological help now!

The authorities need to be notified to get your husband out of the captivity he is now in. This can be be a health threat to everyone. Get a restraining order because you are his wife and you need to be together.

As Candi said get your name as an emergency contact and take his mother off. Please contact his neurological doctor to make sure you are the primary contact not his mother.

My prayers are with you and please keep fighting for his freedom that is why we live in America!

Dana
 
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irishroots replied to clarinet2's response:
I agree with all that's been said previously, and my 2 cents is that (depending on the laws of your state and I'm definitely not an attorney or legal professional of any kind) it sounds like she may possibly be holding him against his will, kidnapping, or something similar.

Definitely get her name off all emergency contact documents. I know doctors aren't supposed to share information because of the privacy laws, but we had a situation with my dad where the doctor's staff was giving his health information to people who had no right to it. My sis and I (who were his legal guardians at the time, medical and legal proxy) visited the doc, told her what had happened, and had her "flag" his file to be sure sis and I were the only ones who could be given information, and I think we had to have a "code word" or something to prove it was one of us. I think you could sign legal documents (not sure if you have to go to court) naming you, and only you, as his medical and legal proxy, and legal guardian if needed. Again, I'm not a legal professional so I'm afraid you'll have to do some research on this. I'd throw out an idea (it may or may not be logical or do-able) that a consult with a lawyer who specializes in cases like yours might clarify your rights and your husband's rights,

I'm so sorry for your situation. You must be so worried about your husband. It's a very scary thing, especially when your MIL is such a controlling, abusive #$&*@, but for your husband's sake and your peace of mind, please follow the advice given by the above posters, ASAP.

I hate to ask, but if you can and want to, could you keep us updated? I'm wishing you success on this difficult journey, but remember that anything you do will be better for your husband (and you) than your horrible MIL has done/will do. I'm not a medical professional either, but she sounds like she could possibly be mentally ill (or just a narcissistic, controlling, nasty you-know-what. My dad was like that).

I'll be thinking about you.

Bobbie
The Wisest Mind Has Something Yet To Learn
 
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saxofone1 replied to clarinet2's response:
Hi Amy,

One more thing to consider. When you talk/visit with your hubby's doctor, ask him to write to a letter explaining why he should be removed from his mom's home. Ask him to state that being in a stressful enviroment is damaging to his seizure control as well as his mental state. Mental/mood states play strongly on seizure frequency. More stress, more seizures. Heavy seizure activity can lead to depression which is a whole other can of worms that you(or hubby) don't need.

Find all the support you can. Hang in there.

love,
angie
 
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amyrmca replied to dancer86442's response:
Candi, I emailed you from my personal email. I tried to email you on here but didn't figure out how so just did it from my email. I also tried to find you on facebook and there were several Jeanne Phelps. And yes, I'm mad. Lol.
 
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amyrmca replied to saxofone1's response:
Thank you. Yes, I will keep you all posted. My nerves and emotions have been pretty bad these last 2 months. I do feel like the only logical one. He is scared to death of her. Thanks
 
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amyrmca replied to irishroots's response:
Bobbie, thanks for the advice. Right now I'm working on all you suggested. Yes, I will update you all. Thanks again. Amy
 
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amyrmca replied to saxofone1's response:
Thanks for the idea about having the doctor write a note Angie. Didn't think of that. Thanks again.
 
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dancer86442 replied to amyrmca's response:
Amy, I think I have 2 email addresses for you. Are you Amy N... ...yahoo.com??? & an iPad ......... me.com???? I sent you an invite w/ the me.com. It doesn't show on my Facebook or Find Friends whether I was successful or not. You may need your computer to Add me. iPads don't always work like other phones.

Mad?? Good for You! Call the Police??? Even Better! Know we are Behind you/With You & your Hubby! When you get him Back, Please, Try to go to Counseling. Both of You! Maybe he will be more open to the Idea if you tell him it's for Your sake & you need him to be with you!

Love Candi
 
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dancer86442 replied to irishroots's response:
Hi Bobbie,

Thank You for your Input. I agree! She needs to see a Lawyer, too. As his Wife it Should All Stand Up in Court, if need be. If you would like to read a bit more of Amy's Journey, just clik on her Id & Previous Discussions.

Amy, if you are reading this reply, Suggestion: Contact the Epilepsy Foundation: Jeanne Carpenter Legal assistance. Maybe they will put you in touch with a pro bono Lawyer or pay for services. I know Holding him against his will is illegal. But, since she was on his Emergency contact list, I'm not sure if you could get her for Kidnapping him, too. Get all Her Rites Removed! HUGS!


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