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Update...still need help...kind of long
amyrmca posted:
If he is in and out of it how does he know what he wants? My husband tells me that he wants to leave but then his mom tells me that he doesn't know what he wants. For instance, if he says, Amy come get me, she says he doesn't know what he wants. He is in and out of it. But if he even remotely agrees with her he is okay. Can someone explain this to me? In my mind if he is out of it then he wouldn't be able to tell me what he wants. Can you please help me understand this? He sounds like he knows what he wants but then she plays it out to be he is sooo out of it that he has no idea what he is saying or what he wants. Is it possible for him to say come and get me and yet not know what he wants?

I've been told to call Adult Protective services to go check on him cause that is their job. I have called them every day this week and last week and I keep getting the run around. I'm passed from person to person and none of them care or even know what to do. And to be quite honest and to the point it makes me angry. I have no idea how my husband is. I don't know if he is okay and they don't seem to care. Do you have any suggestions?
Then, I was told to call the police to go do a welfare check. So I did. And they haven't gone. I don't know what to do.
He contacted me Friday and said he wanted to leave but then he goes days or weeks without contacting me. I don't understand why he does this. Is it an epilepsy thing or a guy thing? Does the epilepsy make him forget me? I'm so confused.
Everyone, police, lawyers, and such, tells me that unless he decides to leave that there isn't anything I can do. They say he is the one who has to press charges for kidnapping. They told me that yes I could take a police officer to go get him but yet he may change his mind and not leave. I'm not sure if its the epilepsy, fear, guilt, or what but its like he will say, I hate it hear I want to leave. I want someone to come get me but then he never follows through with it.
But yet isn't there something APS or the police can do? Can't they go check on him? Its like they don't want to. I'm angry at him, his mom, the police, and APS. I feel like I've hit a wall. I don't sleep and I barely eat because I'm worried about him. Its 2:40am here and all I can do is cry because I'm worried.
Yes, I know he is an adult. I get that. I hear everyone who tells me that. But he has been completely isolated from me and his other friends and family, no one has heard from him in days, she reads all his mail, email, facebook, texts and ect, I think she is using his ssn for stuff, he isn't supposed to drive, and the last time I heard anything he didn't look good.
How do I get help for him? Everyone says he has to be the one to leave but at the same time I'm worried that he has it in his head that he is a prisoner. And I don't know what may have happened to him mentally seizure wise in the last few months.
Please help. I'm starting to get discouraged.
dancer86442 responded:
Hi Amy,

APS: It may not be that they don't want to. They May Be just Over-Loaded with other cases. You Need Proof that he is being held against his Will. You Have proof on your cell phone. Keep calling Everyone!! Tell Them you have Proof. Forget Calling! Visit in Person! If You could talk with his other friends & get their written statement on his condition, that may help, too. Have one of those friends chek on him again! No Calls! In Person! It would be Great if a Friend could get him out of that house & back to you.

Also, as his Wife you are entitled to receive his SSN. Did the 2 of you set up a joint Bank account? Get the paperwork from the bank to have SSN Direct Deposit to his savings. You will need his signature, so take the papers & have the friend who cheks on him, have them signed in private. Report the Fact that she is cashing his Cheks!

I can't believe Officials aren't taking you seriously. So, keep Bugging them till they Do! WHY? Cuz, I think the ol' Lady probably Hid his Pills! Or{ he says he wants someone to come get him, sooo, send a friend! Oh, he ain't feeling Well? Well, I'll just stick around & be his 'companion' for the day & Sneak him out the Window. Can you picture that or something similar?

Keep in mind: Faith, Hope, Love! Where there is a Will, There Is A Way! Stop Crying. Get your Sleep! You need All the Strength you can Muster. STAY STRONG! You Can DO This!

Love Candi
saxofone1 responded:
Hi Amy,

I'm so sorry to hear that this nightmare is getting worse. It must be extremely frustrating/hurtful that the authorities that you have turned to have offered you no help or support.

Do you best to follow the suggestions that Candi has mentioned. Do you best to continue to be that strong and positive person that we met months. Don't lose the bite in your fight. We are here to continue to give you encouragement, support, and love.

I sense a bit of fear in regards to hubby changing his mind about leaving his mom's house. Not fear of you, but fear of what she is capable doing. Hang in there.


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For more information, visit the Duke Health Epilepsy Center