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I just need to vent.
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meghanc posted:
It seems like lately I just want people to leave me alone. I'm in the process of divorcing my husband and I just started a new job. I moved back in with my mom and step dad about 3 months ago when I decided to divorce my husband. During that time the only time that I really have to myself is in the morning and after 8 pm. Usually nobody bothers in the morning. At night though someone is always texting me or calling me. It usually my husband calling me and any time of the day I usually don't want to talk to him. It just seems to bother me more when it's at night around this time. Just now he messaged me on Facebook and doesn't really seem to get that I want to be left alone. I told him that I wanted to be left alone yesterday and he proceeded to make me feel like crap the whole time we talked. He doesn't seem to realize that just because I don't answer his call or message that he's done something wrong. I've told him over and over again how that just means I don't want to talk to him.

It seems like everybody wants something from me. I know my boss obviously wants me to do my job but outside of that everybody just wants something from me. Especially my husband. He keeps asking when he can come see or when I'm going back down there. He keeps asking me to give him another chance and all that. It doesn't seem to matter how many times I've said no to him. He doesn't seem to realize either that since I've been up here that I've had almost no seizures. When I was still living with him I had at least one every month and now I'm closing in on being 3 months seizure free. It would be a nice new record to have. Before I got married I was 7 years seizure free. I want to at least get to where I'm 6 months seizure free. I miss waking up and only having to think about my epilepsy when I take my medicine. Now I'm constantly wondering if I will have another seizure. I know it's the best way to look at it but I just can't seem to help it lately. Especially after my last seizure left me with a scar on my ear. I've tried talking to people about it but they just don't seem to understand what I mean. I almost feel alone in all this even though I know that's not true. I got my family and my friends who are always there for me. I don't know if what I'm saying makes any sense but it's the only way I can think of to put it. I miss the way my life was when I was seizure free. I'm not one of those people that can say they miss the way their life was before being diagnosed. I was diagnosed at 13 months which I consider myself lucky for. As strange or crazy as that might sound I consider myself lucky because I can't remember a time when I didn't have epilepsy. I would rather not know what having a driver's license or know what real independence is like. Well that ends my venting. I just needed to get it all out and this forum has always been there when I needed to vent.
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hawiian_girl11 responded:
Aloha Meghan,

I kind of have the same problem with my dad.

He doesn't get it either.

He hasn't left me alone in over 25 yrs since he divorced my mother in 89.

He still calls and harasses me and leaves nasty messages on the phone, calls and hangs up, breathes into the phone. etc

He harassed my aunt at my brother's wedding 3 yrs ago when she asked him if he ever saw a sz and he said no but yet he still called me mental and a fake and doing it for attention. However my neurologist doesn't allow me to go back to that environment because he knows I will seize so much I will end up in the ER with no insurance coverage outside of Hawaii.

He did a reverse look up and found me in HI and has been bothering me here. I moved because my husbnd took a job there started at straub Hospital and has since moved to The Queens Medical Center in Honolulu where we live.

I do not want to be bothered by him either but like you he just doesn't get it or does't want to or doesn;t care, HE does delight in hurting others though.

He calls so much that we had to get a cable package that came with caller ID so we could catch him, but still knows how to block his number but hhis name still comes through, and let me tell you he is a real pain.

I do not know how to get him either. He needs to be stopped.

I live way out in the pacific ocean and hi lives on the mainland in MI, but he needs to be stopped.

My epilepsy is out of control and has been ever since I was dx'd with it. I have been tried on multiple meds until the 3I am on now plus the VNS.

You are not alone.

I have similar problems

Nancy
 
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dancer86442 responded:
Hi Meghan,


I'm always willing to 'listen'. And I can Relate. A Lot! Just make the World go Away, Please! Especially, when it comes to soon to be Exes. Exactly why my Daughter has Never given my phone number or Facebook info to my First ex. Easy Solutions: Block Him from your page or start a new account & delete the one you have now. Change Phone Numbers! Or can you block him from that, too?


As for others'. Put your phone somewhere where you can't hear it! Or just don't Answer. If it's Important or not, they will leave a message.


Meghan, It will take Time! Your last seizure was a scary one & not easily forgotten. But, when you find yourself wondering, then find some way to occupy yourself. Or do some Pursed Lip Breathing exercises to clear your brain of those thoughts. Bad Neurons! You need Fresh oxygen in the Brain to rid yourself of them!


HUMMMM? Want to be Left Alone, yet feel All Alone. Again, I Know what ya mean. Even if we have Adjusted to any situation, it still leaves Scars that we can feel or see. But, they Can't. I don't want others' to Worry about me. I just need to know they are there for me if I do need to Vent. Or, have a seizure. I have my days/Months where I just wish I could be on a Mountain Top All Alone. But, only long enough to feel the Peace w/in again. Cuz, I know I am addicted to 'listening' to my 'EP Family'


Question? I know you Think you are just venting. But, some of what you have said sounds like you are heading down Depression Lane. What do you Think? Are you taking your D3?


I haven't seen Angie reply in awhile. I am assuming she is still busy w/ her Mom & maybe her work. I hope she checks in w/ us soon. I know the 2 of you were establishing a Close Bond, here. Do you have her Email addy so the 2 of you can 'talk', too? Let me know & I will send it to you via Message on Facebook.


Have Faith, Meghan. My Prayer for You: You will, eventually, find Peace once again. Sooner than Later! Rite??


Love Candi
Prepare Now! November is Epilepsy Awareness Month. Find or Create an event to educate Others'.
 
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gardensparrow responded:
Well, you're obviously going through a lot right now so I think it's totally understandable you're feeling overwhelmed by everything and everyone. Sometimes we do just need some time on our own to process everything and reduce the stress in our lives. So, just take it one day at a time. I'll be praying for you that you'll continue to be seizure-free and things will go smoothly in your relationships!
 
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meghanc responded:
Ok so I'll start at the top and work my way down lol.

Nancy, I have 2 phones now. One is one that my mom gave me when I got up here. He doesn't have that number and I usually leave the phone that he does have in my room so technically I can't see that he calls. When I do call him it's pretty much all but begging me to see me again and to get me to come back.

Candi, I think I may be starting the way to Depression Lane as you called it but I'm also trying not to. If I get depressed it'll affect my work and then my boss will wonder what is going on. Angie's going to be spending some time at her mom's house since she isn't doing too good. Her email address is in her profile on here. She did say to say hi to everyone. I keep forgetting to so she says hi lol. I do get some peace but it just never lasts very long. It doesn't help that the brother I have that doesn't talk to me very much to begin with I pissed off so I probably won't be hearing from him for awhile. It seems like I am pretty good at pissing men off.

gardensparrow, I have been trying to take it one day at a time. It works usually for the most part.

Now for the update. Other than what I mentioned above things aren't going too bad now. Aside from pissing my brother off by wondering what the heck his problem is I've been pretty relaxed. I did find out that my hours are going to be getting cut since we aren't making the sales goals that have been set for us. That kind of bugs me but I still have some money saved up(which was never able to happen when I lived with my husband) so it won't be too big of a problem. I do enjoy working though. I think if I didn't work I would definitely be depressed. It keeps my mind off everything else that's going to hell in my life. I did find out though that alot of the friends I had down by my husband unfriended me on FaceBook but that just made me laugh. The ones that I really cared about are still on there so it doesn't bother me.

Well that's all I got for now. I will talk to you guys later. Take care.

Meg
 
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dancer86442 replied to meghanc's response:
Hi Meg,


I guess the venting Did help some. You bounce back Fast. I don't think I've ever pissed my brothers' off. But, I sure as Heck can Piss my Little Sis off over Nothing. Other than being concerned about her &/or her Hubby, over the yrs. But, we both forgive & forget pretty easily. So, Siblings at odds is nothing new to me. But, give him some 'space' to sort out his own Issues & he will come around again. I Hope. As for Soon to be ex: Well, that is a tough one, I Know! Me: I just quit communicating & he got the message loud & clear! I didn't have the money to divorce him for a Long time. Like 10 or more yrs after I left him. LOL. So, non-communication was the only way for me to deal w/ Him!


Alright, you admit depression is Looming. So, start your D3 Now! I think we have discussed this B4, but, I will risk repeating myself. 1000IU to start. Increase weekly if needed, up to 5000IU. Remember, it has been Proven by Researchers that us Ladies w/ Epilepsy have little to nil Vitamin D in our systems/brains thanks to EP. So, it is Important to recognize signs of depression & nip it in the bud. If need be, please, go see a Counselor! And be sure to tell your Doc if/when you start D3.


Bummer about your Job Hrs. Are you looking at other jobs?


If some friends dropped you from FB, well, then they weren't meant to be friends anyway, Rite? Glad you still have some True Friends. Course you Always have US! I'm Very Happy to call you My Friend!


I guess I should email Angie myself. I keep forgetting to. So, please tell her I miss her & I love her. I totally understand about her Mom needing her. It's Got to be Rough (emotionally) from what little she has told me.


OK enough rambling. Hubby is Awake & we still got to tear up the rest of the living room carpet. So, I may be Off-Line for a day or 2, while that gets done. Lots of Hugs & Love till we hear from each other again.


Love Candi
Prepare Now! November is Epilepsy Awareness Month. Find or Create an event to educate Others'.
 
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dancer86442 replied to gardensparrow's response:
Hello gardensparrow,


Welcome to our Community. I would Love to hear More from you. So, if/when you are ready, share your Journey.


Thank You sooo much for your reply/support of Meg. It means a Lot to me. I can tell you are a Good Lady & I do Hope you will stick around. I sure could use a few more PPL like You! Hugs


Love Candi
Prepare Now! November is Epilepsy Awareness Month. Find or Create an event to educate Others'.
 
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anthonybrownii replied to hawiian_girl11's response:
I went through a nasty divorce only 3 yr's ago my ex wife knew I couldn't be in very bright ly lit enviroments and made sure in order to see my then 2 yr old son I had to go to such an enviroment so I gave up visitation. I still pay my support from my disability check and I still have parental rights. I will just have to wait until he is older to have a relationship with him but for my daughter who is 8 her mother allows me to have her for a month in the summer so unless you have children involved do as Nancy said and put a restraining order on him which specifies no more contact and the distance he must stay from you and keep up on when you must renew the form so that if he violates it you will not be responsible for what may happen if he violates such order and protects family from if they intervene to protect you if he violates and they are around. Keep safe divorce is like a battlefield and you have to use the law to work it out.
 
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meghanc replied to anthonybrownii's response:
Anthony and Nancy,[br>That's horrible what your ex wife did. Thankfully we don't have children so we can screw them up with all this. We both had broken households more or less growing up. [br>I'm honestly worried about him. Last week he sent me an email giving me reasons why I should go back to him. One of the reasons was that if he failed again, as he put it, I wouldn't have to worry about a divorce. He was saying that I'm pretty much his only reason for living right now. After I asked him about that he said that he didn't want to put this burden on me. I told him that he needs to get some therapy but I'm not sure if that will happen or not. I'm hoping he will though.
He sure pissed me off though last night saying that I was just putting my bills on him and just "running to mommy". I don't think he truely understands what I'm doing as far as taking all these shifts.
Candi,
I am trying to find another job. I've had a few interviews but so far that's about it. I figure the sooner I get all this money saved up I can get Cody off my back about my bills and all that. I'm just tired of dealing with him. I just have to keep this up for the next 2 months without ripping my hair out. It's just so hard to really talk to him since he wants things that I don't. It just gets very frustrating.
I'm definitely not losing sleep over them deleting me. It's their loss not mine.
I think I will try that D3 as soon as I can get it.
Well I got to get going. My mom needs the computer since she's not have any luck with the new laptop. Sorry it took so long guys.
Meg
 
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meghanc responded:
Well I've managed a new record this month. I have been seizure free for 3 months and 6 days. This is the longest I've gone without a seizure for at least 2 years. It seems like things are starting to look up for me too. My husband is finally starting to accept what's happening and moving on. I think it's helping that he's talking to this girl that he really likes. I'm really happy for him since we both deserve to be happy. It also helps that I've started to get more shifts. It's definitely going to help since I found out how much this divorce may cost. Hopefully this won't drag on and on like it did with my mom's divorce. From what I'm told though is that if he really wants to fight it he can only do that for a year so it won't be too much longer thankfully.

Well I just thought I've give you guys an update on everything that's happening. I hope you guys are doing good.

Meg
 
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dancer86442 replied to meghanc's response:
Everything is Fine w/ me. So glad to hear you have been seizure free for several Mths. Hopefully, it means your med & less stress are Working. Getting extra shifts I know, will be a big Plus. Just Hope it all works out for you. As for Hubby: I hope he continues to see the Lady. It sure would/will make things easier for you. I was Very Fortunate w/ my 2 divorces. Filed in Civil Court???? & done as soon as they had cash. Second one took a bit longer cuz the man was no where to be found. So, an ad was put in the paper for 6 weeks & no response meant "So Long. I'm Divorced!" Wish the process could be that quick & easy for you. Maybe since he is no longer fighting it, it can be done & over b4 the yr is gone.


Lots of Love & Hugs. Keep up whatever you are doing. Stay seizure Free.


Love Candi
Prepare Now! November is Epilepsy Awareness Month. Find or Create an event to educate Others'.
 
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meghanc replied to dancer86442's response:
Candi,

I'm doing my best to stay stress free but with everything these days it's not quite that easy. Volunteering and picking up shifts have helped with the money stress. The stress as far as my husband goes has changed a little. Sadly the girl isn't talking to him anymore so he went on his whole rant about he's never going to be happy again and he hates himself. It's like a never ending circle.

While everything is going crazy I just have to keep thinking about the vacation my mom and I are going on soon. I just put in for a week in September to go to Colorado to see some my aunt and some cousins. My mom said that my aunt might try and set me up with a guy. I'm really hoping that she wasn't serious lol. It will be nice to get out of this state though. This vacation is long overdue. Sorry it's been taking me so long to respond to you guys. Between work and my soon to be ex I never seem to want to do anything but read. Goodnight guys.

Meg
 
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dancer86442 replied to meghanc's response:
Hi Meg,


Please, don't worry about how long it takes you to respond to us. Anytime is a Good Time w/ me. Just as long as I hear from ya. Way I see it 'No news, is Good news'. Or at least I can Hope so. Just don't over do your 'limits' w/ all the volunteering & extra work.


Bummer about the ex. But, you have made your decision! Stick to your Guns, Woman! Your soon to be ex sounds a Lot like my 1st ex. Of course he wants you back. You are a very 'special' lady. Too Bad he had to stray to wake up to that Fact! Unfortunately, as long as you continue to talk to him, he still feels Hope. Like a Book, you have changed the Page & he is still re-reading the previous chapters.


Going to Colorado? Ohhhh, I so wish I was, too. Sept is not too far off. It will be lovely in Colorado! I, actually Miss the 4hr drive to Colorado to shop, when we lived in UT. HEHE Bet your Mom ain't kidding. Why is it that friends/relatives Think we need a Mate & that they always Know someone who would be Ideal for us??? dOh well, don't worry. I Know you will enjoy yourself, despite their 'good intentions'.


Reading all the time?? Nothing wrong there! Best way I Know to escape the everyday Issues we go thru. My Teachers always complained that I Always had my nose in a book. I don't read as many books as I used to. But, I'll take a book over TV &/or comp any day. Just a simple trip to the Library. I am sooo Overdue to read another good book.


Thanks for letting us know how you are doing. You know I will be here for you. Lots of Love & Hugs!


Love Candi
Prepare Now! November is Epilepsy Awareness Month. Find or Create an event to educate Others'.
 
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meghanc replied to dancer86442's response:
Candi,

He is making things an even bigger pain now cause he's saying that he's going to fight this divorce. He doesn't realize how much I just want it over. Yesterday I just started feeling lonely(I think?) and just started down the depression road again then the strangest thing happened. I think God may have answered one of my prayers. I worked today and on Tuesday's my mom has a meeting at her work. Well when she said that she had one I told her that I would just meet her at McDonald's which is across from the mall where I work. There's a kiosk right outside the store that sells hair straighteners and I kept telling them that I would stop by the next time I could actually stop. They usually try to get me to come over when I'm on my break. Well after work I stopped by there and the guy there said he would straighten my hair for me. While he was doing that he said just lay it on me and tell me how your day was. I told him about work(which was actually pretty good today) and he asked why I don't do anything with my hair. When I said that I don't really have any reason to since my soon to be ex wasn't up here and I didn't have a boyfriend. We kept talking and he noticed how negative I was. He stopped and said that you need to stop thinking about the past and stop worrying about the future. Today is what matters most was what he said. After we were done he told me to read this book about breaking negative habits which I'm going to find here soon. The only thing that would have made it better was if he had hugged me. As weird as that sounds I just really need a hug from someone. For the rest of the day I've felt more relaxed(I think that's the word I want) then I have in awhile. It's a nice feeling. I don't think he had any clue what difference he made for me today.

Alot of people have been saying that they're here for me and I never really understood how much that could mean to someone. It makes me smile now though when I think about how many people have said that to me along with keep your head up. I guess this is just one of those times where you really find out how truely lucky you are.

Well it's time for my medicine. I hope things are going good for you over there.

Meg
 
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dancer86442 replied to meghanc's response:
Good Morning Meg,


Yes, all is Good here. Except Hubby has disconnected the TV & Phone (land line) for monetary reasons. Gave me his old cell phone, since he has a new Smart Phone to use Thanks to my GF. I Hate IT! I can deal w/ no TV. But, I don't talk to enough ppl by phone to warrant a cell phone expense. I got less than 45 days to use on it. I was told to call my Sis & Daughter, twice a week or them days are money 'out the door'. About What??? I have nothing to Say to them! I know this may sound strange. But, I do have another Issue w/ cell phones. Radiation! I don't know for sure, but, a yr or 2 ago, we had a post from a military guy who had his first seizure w/ no apparent cause. Only thing new in his Life was using a Bluetooth. I did a bit of Research. The Info was sketchy due to lack of Enough Research to prove anything. But, from what I did read, yeah, cell phones &/or Bluetooth May cause Problems for people who are susceptible to seizures. I realize my land line phone is operated by battery, also. But, again, I rarely use it. So, who knows. Other Issue. Texting. W/ a keyboard so tiny it is Horrific. At least to me. Not to mention all the s***' ya gotta remember to receive &/or send. My GF Says I will learn quickly. Yeah Rite! I've been on a comp for over 20 yrs & still only know basic stuff, I Have to use on a daily basis to Remember. I can't even remember where I put the dang phone last. I truly Hate it when PPL tell me I can do something, when I don't want to Do It! Period! OK My Rant is over.


Meg, I am Sad that Hubby is making things worse. But, consider the Source! You just stick to your Guns. Peat/repeat! What that gentleman said is what I've been trying to say. But, maybe hearing it from someone out Loud, is what you needed to make you Believe! Ask Tonya about 'breaking negativity'. Several members of NSDF are Very involved in w/ ways to do so. I know at least 1 considers himself a Pro, w/ his book & internet 'sessions'. A Guy Tonya Highly Respects. I know he contacted me a long time ago. But, I forget which gentleman it was. Ask!!!! Next time you visit NSDF. I believe Phylis has an article that may help too.


I'm glad I got my GF & Hubby for Hugs. But, I Give a Lot of Hugs, too, to those I meet. Online & Off. So, here is your Cyberspace Hug for today. (((((( XXX )))))) Open your mind & feel the gentle hug wash over you.


Every day that you Awake is Another Day to be Thankful for what you have. Friends who truly Do care! You can't see us, but, hopefully, now you will be open more to Feeling our strength & Genuine Love for You! Hope you continue to have Good feelings! Have a Great Day.


Love Candi
Prepare Now! November is Epilepsy Awareness Month. Find or Create an event to educate Others'.


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