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Trouble ejaculating
ja_max posted:
I am 30 y.o. and I am having trouble ejaculating during sex. I have no trouble when I masturbate, but during sex I get an erection & then lose it after a while without ejaculating. I am frustrated because I have never cum while having sex with my wife and I fear something may be wrong with me. Also, we are ready to be parents and this will obviously never happen if I can't get do my part. I'd appreciate any thoughts or suggestions
Gary0329 responded:
You would be amazed at how often the problem you mention comes up on the men's health bulletin boards. At least take comfort that you are far from alone with this problem. First of all, are you taking any medication for depression or anxiety? These types of medications, especially those labels SSRI's are notorious for delayed ejaculation as a side effect. If you are not, anxiety (without treatment) can also lead to the problem. Beyond that, since you state you don't have the issue when you masturbate, its likely to be a psychological(stress) issue. Counseling from the right kind of therapist can help you with this problem.
counterso responded:
As Gary said, not uncommon. And it could be as simple as being anxious about becoming a parent that is short-circuiting the process. Make sure your masturbation technique closely resembles intercourse, because you could have been training your penis to only like sitting up with a kung fu grip, when that feels nothing like laying down and a gentle fit. That it's been a long term issue sounds like the latter, however it could be a combination of both.
lb54ne responded:
so this is my first time doing this but I have the same problem to the point that I fake it (spitting) but what works is thinking that most women like the fact that you can last take advantage of it like try all different positions if it aint going anywhere might as well use it . When your ready to try to cum have her get on top and lay down on you back like your masturbating, also start to slow down your stroke speed during masturbation and lastly find a spot in her vagina that you can rub the top of the penis head, like thrust towards her straight up and keep doing that it will happen .
Smittysavestheday responded:
Here's a technique that really works for premature ejaculation and loss of erection. Try to relax all your surrounding muscles especially your buttocks. Men tend to lock up these muscles during intercourse because it's how you manifest your sex drive-pushing with rock solid endurance but this actually causes your semen flow to be cut off. It worsens, if additionally, your partner moves a certain way when ejaculating. Try to restrain yourself from all the usual ways you go about having intercourse and make your singular focus be the shaft and tip of your penis. Don't allow yourself any pleasure and stimulation from pushing your pelvis or your buttocks into your partner. Just try to relax and let the semen flow and after re-training in this way-it will! Be patient and don't quit on this technique. It takes time to learn. Try it during masturbation, no pushing or pressure anywhere on your body, just let your sensations be concentrated around your penis and be sure you don't tighten any buttock muscles-this is is a lot harder than people think. Most men don't even realize how much they are tightening up here. Let it flow!

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