Erectile Dysfunction Community

Ok, I have struggled with this on and off for at least 5 years, and I think it is time I finally put myself out there and see if I should be worried. I know it is a bit long, but I think it covers all bases, and will help many people who DON'T go into such detail.

I have been sexually active for roughly 7 years. At least 5 years ago, I started noticing that I had trouble getting erections. I know that a lot of the time, it is all mental, but it was happening quite often. Even when I DID get an erection.. it wasn't a GOOD one, so to speak. It would be a very average erection and was sometimes barely enough to have sex. As some background information, I am 6ft tall and 170 lbs, in good physical shape but I DO live a sedentary lifestyle (I don't workout at all). I also don't eat extremely healthy, but I also don't eat terribly bad either.

One thing I have always noticed, is that if I masturbate or have sex, a few hours later if I get another erection, that erection is MUCH harder. Not sure if that is helpful, but I have always found that interesting.

I also notice that if the girl that I am attempting to have sex with is just a random girl (someone who I JUST want to have sex with and am not interested in having an actual relationship with), then I usually have no problem getting an erection. But if it is a girlfriend or someone I care about, it is much harder. I have NEVER had a problem getting an erection during masturbation, only when attempting to have intercourse. And I also have experienced losing erections DURING sex (although this may be attributed to lack of desire in those encounters).

One last thing, I think this is due to the TYPE of masturbation I perform. I have never really used lube. I got circumcised about 3 years ago, and before and after that, I have just used my hand in a stroking motion. So I am assuming that this has somehow affected my sensitivity. But over the past year, I have developed a strange form of masturbation. I keep my penis in my underwear, grab it with the tips of my fingers THROUGH my jeans/pants/underwear, and basically just jerk it in all directions in a "tugging" motion for lack of a better word.

Lastly, I have also always felt a lack of sexual desire. I don't seem to have the sex drive that most men have when it comes to having a woman in my bed. But, while masturbating, I have the desires of a teenage, hormone-filled boy. I am now with a BEAUTIFUL woman and we have already discussed future plans and plan on having children and getting married, and over the past week or so... I can't please her! I cannot perform AT ALL! She seems understanding, but I don't know how long this will continue. Please, can ANYONE help me?