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Frustrated and disconnected
panteramack posted:
My fiance has tried Viagra, to no avail. I was sure that it would help, and quite surprised when it didn't. I've been looking into other options. I've learned there are suppositories, injections, and penis pumps, as well as pills. We are going back to his doctor this Friday. I hope something helps.
I'm very frustrated, and it's starting to affect our relationship. We used to at least try. Now it seems we both have given up. I feel disconnected from him. He's had ED since we started seeing each other, over a year ago. I've yet to have intercourse with him. I do get frustrated with trying this or that in the bedroom, but no results. He gets frustrated with himself. I've never said anything mean or negative to him, I've always encouraged him, saying that all this anticipation will it make it well worth it when we finally do have intercourse. (and I know it will be worth the wait!) But in the meantime, I'm discouraged and frustrated, emotionally and sexually. We know the underlying cause of his ED (diabetes and Rx meds). Now the challenge is to get him into the doc and have him actually speak up. I understand he very much doesn't want to speak up, but for OUR relationship... he has to. As I said, I'm going with him to his appt this Friday. I don't want him to be embarrassed or ashamed, but this really can't go on without both of us trying to correct it.
oliver523 responded:
I also have ED that is caused by HBP, bypass surgery, Diabetes and the meds that I take for it. You said he has used Viagra so he must have already told the Dr. of his problem. There are thousands and thousand of us with the same thing so its nothing the Dr. hasn't heard before. If the pill doesn't work he will have you try a VED (vacuum erection device or pump) and then shots (they aren't as bad as you think) The next is the penile implant. That's what I got and its great, any time or any place and it will stay up 24/7 if you want to. Just be very carefull to get a skilled Uro to do the surgery. Ask a lot of questions and find one that does at least 50 or more a year.
Amelia_WebMD_Staff responded:
Welcome panteramack,

I wish you and your husband the best with the appointment and finding a successful form of treatment for this concern.

According to the WebMD Diabetes and ED article, "It is been estimated that about 35-75% of men with diabetes will experience at least some degree of erectile dysfunction -- also called impotence -- during their lifetime." Oliver is right, your husband is definitely not alone with this problem. It is great that you all are going to speak with his doctor about various options, especially with his diabetes in mind.

The article above does state that medication is an option, "However, because people with diabetes also tend to have problems with their heart , these medications may not be appropriate and cause dangerous interactions with your heart medicine. Talk to your doctor to determine what treatment is best."

Please do make sure to speak with his physician about all aspects of his health and ask many questions. I am wishing you both the best. Please keep us posted!
Best Wishes! Amelia
panteramack replied to oliver523's response:
Oliver, thanks for the info. He has told his doctor before, but he's embarrassed to bring it up again. Can I ask, did you use the VED? If so, was it successful at all?
panteramack replied to oliver523's response:
Thanks Oliver. Can I ask, did you use the VED, and if so, was it successful at all?

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