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Psychological impact of ED
PopeSkippyXVI posted:
I am 62 and have been dealing with being unable to have an erection for about 5 years now. There is no psychological source, and although my blood pressure is normal, I believe that diabetic neuropathy is my major issue. My question is this: should a woman lose a breast or have a hysterectomy, she is counselled about self image and the loss. If that question is asked by a man about his ED, there are few serious responses other than you're just getting older, get over it. Frankly the cavalier attitude that others, including doctors and LPCs take, pisses me off. Having ED is not normal, an I am seeking a forum to discuss how to work this into my life.
I am Type II diabetic, have no blood pressure or cholestrol irregularities, have no erections at any time day or night, and there is no performance anxiety involved. My best guest is that it is a form of diabetic neuropathy. I am also diagnoses with severe bipolar disorder, trending toward depression more often than not,
I regularly take Lantus, regular insulin, metformin, vitamin D, chromium, and milk thistle for diabetes. I take 2700 mg of neurotin a day, 1000 mg of Metformin, 300 mg of bupropion a day, Ambien, and 100 mg of Xanax twice a day. I take 40 mg of protonex once a day for aacid reflux caused by my pancreas and gall bladder. I take Centrum Silver daily. I also use Zyrtex or Claritin, nasal spray, and eye drops for allergies. I also broke my foot in 4 places in October 2010 amd unable to get it treated. Therefore I take OTC pain killers several times a day, and Vicodan at night when it's available.
I also have had a hydrocil for a bit over 6 years. It grows all the time and is inconvenient but not usually painful. I have been unable to get that removed as well.
Again, after all the background, and while it would be nice to have firm erection again, I would appreciate the courtesy of someone recognizing that the end of sex is a major step for a man. I may be wrong in thinking this, but I feel how a woman must feel after she's lost a breast. It is an issue of self-esteem and self-worth.
Thanks for any help or suggesetions.
georgiagail responded:
Actually, most women never receive counseling regarding self image following either a hysterectomy or breast removal.

Have you discussed your ED issue with a urologist? There are many different options to treating ED, although it may take several trials with different ones to find the one that is most successful for you.

I'm not certain why you believe ED is the end of sex for a male. There are other options for sexual enjoyment and, having dated a type I diabetic with ED, I can personally attest that an erection is not needed to achieve an orgasm; in addition, many women prefer oral sex to vaginal intercourse in terms of their ability to reach an orgasm.

heretohelp64 responded:
It seems that you are ok with taking vitamins so may I suggest that you try Tongacat ALI and also L-Arginine. Both of these help with the blood flow and i have found them to be very effective.
dnarex responded:
You need to find another doctor. There are plenty who will take your problem seriously.
Consider your medication. There are at least 4, Neurontin, Wellbutrin, Ambien, and Xanax, that can cause ED.
Try a prescription for Viagra, Levitra or Cialis. If that doesn't work you might try adding Cabergoline. The combination sometimes works when a PDE5 inhibitor alone does not. This is off label use. Also, have your testosterone level checked. If it is low, replacement might help. Low testosterone can also exacerbate diabetes.
Dave_from_Almont responded:
There is a wonderful group of guys on a forum called This group is a non-profit specifically dealing with ED. You can browse without logging in, but the chatroom is reserved for members. There is practical advice from other guys with the same problem and seperate forums for guys using different treatments. I am member and have posted frequently. I am one of the "bionic" guys, as we call ourselves, those who have had implants. Most of all, you will get the support you need and have a lot of fun in the chatroom. BTW, it is for men only. Women can visit and read, but can't log in or post, this is strictly among us guys.

Good luck!

An_240014 responded:
I fully empathize with you.
I am 56 and experiencing ED, at least a form of it, also. I'm on 300 mg Bupropion (over a year), 2 blood pressure med's (Lisinopril and Verapamil), Previcid. Ativan (twice daily) and a baby aspirin and Plavix (I had a mild stroke 6 years ago). Lost my job 3 months ago. Depression started a over year ago at my last job.
Sad to say but losing it probably saved my life.
The most recent experience I've had with ED was 2 and a half hours ago (2:30 a.m. PST). Today is our 15th anniversary. When my wife came to bed I decided to try and be a little amorous with her. After some foreplay I had a semi hard erection. When it came time for penetration I started to lose it. I tried anyway. My wife said I was in her but it did not feel like it to me. She was obviously experiencing some enjoyment. After about 15 minutes I told her I gave up, but I'm glad she was able to get something from it.
That's when it started.
She said "but you were in me and every time you stopped to adjust yourself you started losing your erection". I told her "without a firm erection I can not really tell. I'm folding in half and, well I guess it's a guy thing. But personally unless I'm hard I can not tell, but you enjoyed it, didn't you"?
I guess that's when her guilt came out. The last thing I needed was an argument. And when she started in I said "happy anniversary" and went to use the bathroom.
When I returned she apologized, for all it was worth. Damage already done.
My wife did suggest I talk to the Dr. about my anti depressant possibly being the problem. I once used an anti depressant that did not effect my erections but did prevent me from ejaculating. And that was a frustrating time.
Now I find myself wide awake. I was checking my e-mails and opened WebMD to find your article. And , like you say, people's understanding of this frustration is crappy.
It seems as woman get older they can take or leave sex. But I'll be damned if I'm going to live that way.
In a few hours I'll call my Dr's. office make an appt. and see him. I hope a change in anti depressants will do the trick.
I'll start there.
reallywhynotnow responded:
you might consider closing your medicine cabinet. did you say 62 or 6200? get off the scripts. it's a wonder anything is working.
HealthIsNoOne responded:
See your urologist. He has many options including injection therapy which is one of the most effective means to get/maintain and erection. Don't quit and as others have said there are lots of ways to satisfy your partner so use your imagination. Good sex starts and ends between your ears. Have fun.
Isabela_320 responded:
I am 46 and married to a 58 year old man. He, too, suffers from Diabetes Type II and some of the other issues you mentioned; especially ED. He takes Metformin but was recently upgraded to insulin injecions also.
We've only been married 2 1/2 years and I DO recognize this is a medical issue for him.... but that doesn't mean my self-esteem and self-worth have not suffered as much as his has. More than anything, I want to feel loved by him .... if not by the "conventional" means, then by a more imaginative way. I complelely understand what a blow this must be to a man's ego, but please, also consider how it affects your significant other. She hurts too. Perhaps even more than you realize.
irishriffraff responded:
Hey Pope, sounds as if you are analyzing this a bit too much. ED is nothing like a mastectomy or hysterectomy, your cock and balls were not cut off. For menopause women have HRT hormone replacement therapy, for ED men have HRT also, to treat low T.
I'm 72 and have ENJOYED my ED for over 8 years. I'll explain:
I had a problem getting an erection so I talked to my family doctor. He told me it could be caused by the meds I was taking; but, he did a complete physical, ran some tests and also sent me to a urologist for a checkup.
Found I had an enlarged prostate and ED besides what I already had, high blood pressure, RA, and pain from two spinal surgeries.
Both doctors recommended Testerone for low T.
About a week after my first Testosterone shot I started experiencing the best sex since my 30s, really. And the beat goes on, still enjoying getting and giving pleasure a couple of time a week.
Go to your doctor and get a complete checkup, especially if you have a hydrocele. Hydrocil is a laxative and a hydrocele even tho it is not painful can be quite serious.
Good luck to you.
An_240072 replied to Isabela_320's response:
When I read your response, it brought me to tears because this is part of what I have been dealing with for years. My husband is 10 years older than I and has ED due to several medical issues and the prescriptions associated when those issues. His testosterone is in the "normal" range, however he has absoutely no desire at all. I feel like we are nothing but "just friends" and my self-esteem is in the toilet. I want to be held and feel like I am loved. We have discussed alternatives and I have repeatedly told him my feelings all to no avail. At this point in my life (over 30 years of marriage) I am ready for separate bedrooms and to move on. I find myself crying several times a week. I am going to seek a therapist. I hope the men out there understand that the women in their lives also are greatly affected by ED and no matter what do not stop telling their significant others that they love them and do whatever they can to show their feelings.
ButlerFan responded:
Gee Wheeze, dude your problem is all the meds you are on! I have the same problems and almost taking the same meds. The only advice I can give you is to watch your diet for diabetes, exercise and see a counselor! Good luck!
hoosierphilly responded:
Check out serious experiences for men.
blood pressure pill effect many men.....ED and depression, but you don't seem to be on them...antidepressents can effect well, pain killers can interfere too.

Try a full spectrum light to help depression and maybe low level electo stimulating devices for pain and depression. Its written you need to keep the blood and oxygen to the nevers to keep them active. Being overweight or obese also makes for problems......loosing weight improves performance a lot too.
t_5456_k replied to Isabela_320's response:
OMG i totally can relate to what you said. I posted a small paragraph on here about how ed effects women's self esteem, because im feeling really rejected and sad about my situation. I've been with my bf for over 4 years and im 41 and he's 45. he had a mild stroke about 6 months ago and has had ed ever since. Its making me feel rejected and sad and its been the cause of a couple of our fights now. I'm trying so hard to be understanding but its making me feel unwanted.
t_5456_k replied to An_240072's response:
It made me cry too! I also submitted a paragraph on women's self esteem dealing with ed on here. I've felt rejected and sad and trying to understand this but its difficult.

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