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Dating a new woman
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run1333 posted:
I am 41 years old and have been divorced for 10 years now. I have dated women since but only one seriously. During my marriage and the last ten years Ive had issues sexually that are very embarrassing and frustrating. I would be involved in intercourse and would lose my erection during sex. After my divorce, I got better about not losing the erection but was unable to finish. Over the last few years, Ive had issues with keeping an erection to start sex. Id get hard during foreplay and kissing but right before its time to perform my erection would go away. Clearly there is some anxiety there. Anyway, I recently was reconnected with a girl I knew 20 years ago. She is 2 years divorced, no kids, great job and still looks beautiful. We live about 2 hours from each other so Im making plans to go back into town to see her again. This really has potential and Im excited about the possibility of dating her...of course sex will eventually enter the fray. My question is(esp. to women) should I tell her of my issue before things get intimate or should I let things play out and explain later...an issue will almost no doubt come up so I wonder how to handle this...I feel the more comfortable I get with her the better it will get but of course I do not want her to be uncomfortable and feel like its her at all. Its been my experience that a lot of women blame themselves. Should I explain to her if things get to that point my issue? Would a woman appreciate that or just wait and explain later?
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topcop2003 responded:
Why not see a urologist and get some help? I used to have similar issues but now take viagra 45 minutes before sex, Not only can I finish the act, I can restart again in a half an hour. I went to a urologist who did a complete exam. He sent me to an endocrinologist who found my testosterone count was 113, well below the recommended guidelines. He gave me Androgel testosterone replacement, and I was like I was 20 again. 41 is a ripe age where you could begin to need testosterone replacemen.

Please, if nothing else, go see the urologist and have him check your testosterone level, talk to him one on one, and I am sure he will help you with an answer. Like you, I fared getting intimate but it does not have to be that way at all.
 
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dfromspencer responded:
Run, you have to tell her, prior to having first sex. But why not go see a urologist first? Explain your problem, as candidly as possible, and i will bet you he can help! I too suffered from sexual anxiety. I am now taking Levitra 20mg one hour prior to sex, and am like a young man again.

Try concentrating on the woman. Dont think of anything but her, and you may be surprised? That helps me alot. I think of nothing but her, and how wonderful this is going to be. Sometimes, i dont even need the Levitra. Give it a try, what have you got to lose? But, if you still think you might have this problem with her, talk to her, you said she was a friend, talk to her like a friend, she will understand, and possibly, love you more for it. Sorry for the run-on.

Good luck to you, and your new relationship! Take care, Dennis


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