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arousal but no ejaculation?
tiffb44 posted:
My boyfriend is 29 and has no problem getting hard but most of the time doenst ejaculate.. He loves having sex because he can get me off very easily but it bothers me when I am the only one, I would like to have that satisfaction also. We both have a sexual appetite and do plenty of foreplay throughout the day. I am only the second person he has been with and the first he had no emotional tie to so I would think he should be able to get off easier. He says its because when he was an adolescent he used a tube sock to ejaculate with and it ruined alot of his sensitivity.. I think this could be true but I cant help feeling its something more? I have never had this problem with any other sexual partner, I am a very sexual person and find joy in knowing they get off. Sometimes when he cant come and its been a very sensual experience with costumes and candles and all that jazz and I feel very connected it stings at the end when he says he probably isnt gonna come. It puts both of us on edge cause it upsets me and he doesnt understand why. So I guess my question is could it just be the sensitivity is gone so he can get aroused but its harder to actually get off, or if it is more.. and if anyone has had this problem from the man or womens side? Please let me know what you think, thanks!
nohard responded:
Hi Tiff, Two things he could try, and the first is the easy one, when he thinks its time to ejeculate, he does this(but I'm taken it he has a foreskin) He puts his hand down between you and pulls back his foreskin and holds why hes still in the motion of having sex, and best if he is taken you from behind, by doing this he exsposes his gland to more friction, works fro me when I get the odd problem.
Now the second is a 50, 50 chance of working, if he has ever overmasturbated or masturbated to porn he could have some kind of ED but affecting his ejeculation side, and it would mean going 8 weeks without masturbating or any sexual contact with you, this way it would give his body a time to reboot, and this is whta its for, its a sabbatical from sex for him, and you both need to be strong to give it a chane to work.
Any help.
Good Luck
tiffb44 replied to nohard's response:
Yes anything helps! He is cirumcized so that wont work, but I will talk to him about the second suggestion. Though it will be pretty hard for both of us I would like to figure it out now opposed to later in our relationship when the feelings have been building about it. When he started masterbating when he was younger he would always use a tube sock and from what I remember quite often, but I am not sure how long the period of time he did this was for, could of been anywhere from 6 months to a couple years..He said it rubbed him raw and effected his sensitivity. Do you think that would still be effecting him or has healed by now? What made me think of this was your first suggestion and made me wonder about his gland and the affect of friction? If his problem is that his gland doesnt feel the friction as much would the second suggestion you made help that?
Thanks so much for your input!
nohard replied to tiffb44's response:
Hi Tiff, if as you say he had rubbed it till it was raw, the damage may be irreversible, and we need friction for ejeculation to come into effecthe set him self a hard task to find away out of it, I'le have a read around some dark corners, and see what I can find.
Good Luck
sarachoi responded:
did he tried any male enhancement pill like Viagra ?
nohard responded:
Hi Tiff, Ok been round some dark corners, and come up with this, peripheral neuropathes could be the trouble, and methylcobalamin, now this last bit could be the core, just google both and see what you come up with, but they do interconnect.
Good Luck
LW1948 responded:
Arousal for a man is more than just friction. It is very mental. My suggestion is to be very verbal as he enters you. Loud moans, panting, and any form of verbal encouragement will help with ejaculation. Grab his ass and pull him into you.
chad2000 responded:
have him not masturbate for a week, and no sex for as long, but stimulate him often during this week, it builds up the arousal to the point of near explosion.
then, have no distactions during the sex, and go wild, really give him everything he wants
stevesmw responded:
The most important thing is whether intercourse is physically pleasurable to him. An orgasm for most men ends intercourse. My wife was capable of having a large number of orgasms. I would rather have multiple near orgasms and feel her orgasms with my penis. The other end of the spectrum is premature ejaculation which is frustrating to both partners.

If he isn't capable of orgasm outside of intercourse that is a more signficant problem. If he is, then it sound like you both
are being to goal oriented and need to be more relaxed.
shoppingmaller responded:
Alcohol, drugs, stress, among other factors, all can cause an inability to ejaculate. Might make sense for him to visit a physician. In the meantime, I'd suggest you finish him off with your hands and a quality water based lubricant.
MikeK9MI responded:
This is a problem I've had to deal with myself. In my case, the cause was/is some of the medicines I take. I have to take a break from the meds or I know what the result will be. I take antidepressent, anti-anxiety and pain pills due to having a messed up back and can't work.

Whatever you do, don't blame yourself. Probably easier said then done, but it's not your fault. Maybe being more vocal as some one else advised could help. Also, your boyfriend needs to relax (another thing hard to do), but the more tense he is, the less likely he will be able to have an orgasm.

Good luck...
An_249403 responded:
Ejaculation so many times a day will make it harder to blow his wad with you when your in the mood. Tell him to keep going once you get off, nothing like a multiple orgasm. If he is using any male enhancement pill products those will also add to the delay. Try alternateoccassionally to oral sex. It is a real turn on for most and maybe what he needs to boost the excitment. Keep a towel handy as you do not want to swallow as it will limit you chances of getting prenant which is an old wise tale. Some so like it, but it is a personal choice. It is merely body fluids. It may highten the excitment if you can tolerate it. If this doesn't work, see a sex therapist as he may have some emotional problems he needs to deal with.
MnKilt replied to tiffb44's response:
After trying what you think might help, maybe he should see a urologist and see if something else is going on with his plumbing.
After that, consider trying a sex counselor but look for someone that is certified by a national group and licensed in your state.
An_249409 responded:
I'm like the above described guy. I found that a vibrator in a cock ring does wonders to help this situation. There are some genuine medical devices like this, but I get mine as sex toys. Best example is "Futurotic Thrust".

I find the best placement for me is just behind the glans.
MileBowie responded:
your boyfriend have a very strong sexual desire. Try to give him that unique and awkward situation before you have sex with him. Like.. I don't know.. you'll figure it out. Owh and ask your boyfriend to stop watching porns.

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